Does she like me?

[BrassPlayer4Life]

Maybe a movie is a little bit more uncomfortable, but afterwards, I was thinking we could go somewhere else such as bowling, that way we could talk, flirt, joke around, and touch each other, while doing an activity that's fun too; plus, I could say I let her win at bowling because I'm not very good. (I haven't bowled in a long time.)

I don't know what time or anything this would all take place, so if she had like 4 hours of free time, we could do bowling and a movie, but if she only has say 2 hours, I'd say bowling is a better choice. It really matters on how much free time she has I guess.

Here's my main question/topic:
I'll have to find out if she likes bowling because we've never talked about that before, so how could I ask her and incorporate that into asking her out at the same time as finding out?

Would me saying something like, "So, when was the last time you went bowling (person's name)?" If she says something like, "I don't know, maybe a couple months ago, why?" Then I'll say, "Well, would you like to go bowling with me sometime this weekend?"

Is that a good way to find out if she likes bowling and if she'd go with me? I'm open to suggestions and advice for that!

PS: By the way, it's too cold to play sports outside now where I live, so sports like basketball wouldn't be a good idea, and we can't use the gyms inside our school. The temperature is anywhere from 40-10 degrees right now and it's pretty windy and we've had a little sleet and rain.

[Alexstrandberg]

Ouch, that's cold.

You: "hey, are you any good at bowling?'
her: " no, maybe a little"
You: "ok, I'd like to take you out to do some bowling"
her: "umm"
you cutting her off "if you are really bad I might let you win"

Don't ask her if she would like to go bowling. Say "I'd like to take you out to go bowling". Take the leadership role and assume she wants to go with you. If she has a problem with bowling she will say so. "ok, movies instead".

Odds are she will be a little awkward in her response so she will need a little re-assurance. Don't assume it's rejection or anything like that. Treat it she is just nervous and scared but really does want to hang out with you.

A lot of girls are nervous and insecure (especially around guys they like) but this doesn't mean she is not into you. Guys often intemperate her nervous feelings as her not liking them.

[BrassPlayer4Life]

Obviously, I didn't have a really good clue as to what I should say, so thanks for that. How's this instead?:

Me: "Say (person's name), are you any good at bowling?"
Her: "No, I'm not very good."
Me: "Okay, I'd like to take you out and bowl with you on Saturday."
Her: "Well...."
Me: "I don't care if you are bad; I'm actually not that good myself, but if you are bad, I might even let you win."

Is that good; what if she says she's not sure if she is able to go or not? (Maybe she has plans already or her week is busy) Should I just wait for her response the next day or two and if she says she can't go should I ask her what would be a good day for her? Also, should I ask her the next day if she found out if she can go or not, or if she doesn't say anything the next 3 days, I'll take it as a no? Please help me with that.

Thanks Alexstrandberg for the help and I agree with you now that bowling is the better option verses going to a movie because we would be able to converse, flirt, and have fun all at the same time, and that's MUCH better than going and sitting in a movie theatre for 2.5+ hours of listening to some actors.

[Alexstrandberg]

"if you are really bad I might let you win"

That's flirting. Teasing her in a playful way with just a little bit of cockiness.

If she says anything other than outright "no I don't want to go" you are fine. If she needs to find out if she is able to go then tell her to ask.

her: umm sure... but I need to find out if I can go
you: cool go home and ask and let me know the results tomorrow

I would only remind the girl once. So I'll ask her out one time and remind her one time. Beyond that she is either is too nervous to go out with me or not interested. Either way I don't waste my time chasing a girl. Give it a day or two before you remind her about asking.

[BrassPlayer4Life]

All right, I'm all set and ready to ask her. Thank you all so much! I'll have to ask her next week because I'm booked all day Saturday (driver's lesson) and I'd rather go with her on a weekend than a weekday, so I'll ask her next week. I'll ask her whenever we are talking together and having a good conversation with each other.

I see what you mean by sounding cocky, sort of funny, and reassuring at the same time (along with flirting) and thanks for that advice Alexstrandberg.

I'd just like to say thank you to: ooze, SamIAm, kettlekorn, Alexstrandberg, and last but not least, Dan and Jennifer for inventing this spectacular website and allowing people like me here to discuss problems and concerns. Even if it doesn't work out, I'm happy I took the time to learn, mature, and gain an important aspect of my life, so I thank you all and I can't even tell you how greatful I am!

I'll be back here to let everyone know how it goes!

[BrassPlayer4Life]

Sorry everyone but I forgot to ask if I should give her a hug when I take her back to her house, or if I should give her a kiss.

I'm thinking a hug because it's our first time and I don't think it'd be best to rush things, so I think I'm going to say, "Thanks for a wonderful time; I had a lot fun. I hope we can do something else together really soon." then she'll say something like, "Yeah, it was a lot of fun, and I had a great time too (something like that)." and then I'll give her a hug goodnight while saying, "See you soon."

Also, should we rearrange another date while saying goodbye, at the bowling alley, or another day at school?

Now, I'll officially be all set and ready. Thanks again everyone!

[Alexstrandberg]

Na, roll the dice and give her a kiss during the date. Read the other thread I poster especially the part about getting a little too close to the girl.

If you plan on having the kiss at the end of the night you will be extremely nervous the entire date. All that pressure and anxiety will just build up and you won't be able to enjoy yourself. Your nervousness will make the date kinda awkward which in turn will make going for a kiss awkward.

One thing feeds another. You are nervous about the kiss which causes the date to not go as well as you would like it. Then you feel even more nervous when kissing her because the date didn't go as planned.

I want you to try and relax on the date. Whenever you feel yourself getting all worked up, sit back, relax and take a deep breath. Breathe through your nose deeply into your stomach then slowly let it go out of your mouth. Repeat this till you are calm.

It's a good idea to do the breathing exercise before you actually go out on a date or ask her out. Regardless if you do breathe deeply or not you will still be nervous. It's just that breathing deeply will help lessen the nervousness.

It's important to ignore the thoughts that pop into your head. The biggest one is going to be "Don't screw this up". Not wanting to screw this up will cause you to be nervous and eventually screw it up. Try your best to get out of your head and just enjoy yourself.

[BrassPlayer4Life]

Okay, I'll try to give her a kiss on the cheek and see how she reacts.

I'm not too sure she wants to be seen around me. Today after a band lesson (that I joined with her), I decided I was going to talk to her in the hall. So, a little way down the hall from the band room, I walked casually right along side her and I asked her what class she was going to because we were let out a little later than usual. She smiled at me, replied, and we started making conversation with each other. I told her I didn't like a class I was taking and she said, "That's too bad." and she said it with sincerity almost like "it'll get better soon" type of thing.

We were almost to the halls were we had to split up (our classes were in different directions) and one of her friends came the other direction from which we were walking from and said, "Hey,(person's name)! What are you doing?!" in a sarcastic voice while smiling at me. (this was all while walking; note that we didn't stop walking together.) The girl I like just laughed, smiled at me and back at her friend and said, "I'm talking, isn't it obvious?!" (sarcastically and then started lauging afterwards).

Well, before I knew it, I wasn't able to say goodbye or at least continue talking to her because she stayed behind for a couple seconds and continued talking and laughing with her friend and when I looked back to wave goodbye, they were both watching me I noticed and "eyeing" me as I was walking.I kept walking because I was a little embarassed that her friend said that and was kind of startled because she said it pretty loud too. I'm kind of worried that she doesn't like being seen talking to me or being by me, or maybe it's that her friend knows something that I don't or something (like the girl I like likes me back or something of that nature).

Maybe it's just me but maybe her friend thinks or knows that I like her now that she saw me talking to her and walking side by side with her in the hall, or maybe it's because her friend knows that she likes me or something. I don't know and I'm confused. I'm going to ask her out anyway; that is out of the question for backing down now, but I just can't help thinking that something is up or there's something that her friend knows that I don't. Maybe it's because she knows that the girl I like likes me too, but I just want to be sure...

Can someone interperet this section here, or is it just me getting worked up over nothing and worrying too much?

I won't see her tomarrow because of WKCE testings so I'm going to ask her sometime this week (probably Wednesday).

Thanks and I hope someone can help me with this.

[BrassPlayer4Life]

I think tomarrow and Friday are a little short notice for me asking her to have a date on a Saturday because it only gives her a day or so to respond and she probably already has plans by now (then again, maybe not). I'm also short on time on Saturday because I have a driver's lesson from 1:00PM to 4:00PM, so we'd have to meet up later than that and if our date lasted a few hours, it would be dark outside by then (not sure if that's good or bad really.).

I think I'm either going to ask her out next week on a Monday because we only have 2 days of school the entire week and Tuesday is our last day, and Wednesday is a day off before Thanksgiving, so I'm not sure if I should ask her then because she might have relatives visiting (and being it's a holiday and all). It's either that day or wait another week, so it would then be closing in on December. What do you think I should do? Ask her tomarrow, next week on Monday, or in 2 more weeks? I'm not sure when I should anymore due to lack of time during this weekend and next week is Thanksgiving week. Please help!

Here's why I couldn't ask her: I was just about to ask her in history class while I was asking her what we did in class (I was gone for a few days), but I ran out of time because she got there a little later and also the person next to me interrupted our conversation.

So, when do you think I should ask her, and can someone please interpretate my last post on what happened in school?

Thanks!