Does she like me?

[BrassPlayer4Life]

Okay, so I used to not talk to this girl that I've liked for some time now in class because I was sort of nervous to, but I forced myself to break that and overcome my shyness towards her, so now we occassionally talk to each other before and sometimes during class.

I've noticed that whenever I call her name before/during class, she immediately turns her head towards me, stops whatever she's doing, and almost always makes eye contact with me. However, (sometimes) after I have gone about halfway through as to what I am asking her, she sometimes looks down at her hands and "fiddles" with her hands/fingernails (almost like she's giving herself a manicure), but continues facing towards me with the rest of her body, just with her head down. Or, sometimes she just sits cock-eyed in her seat with her head continuing to face mine (but continuing to "fiddle" and looking down).

Is that normal for a girl to react that way when they are talking to someone, or is it just what she does? I've seen her doing that sometimes during class (always a couple minutes after I talk to her), and she's the only girl I've ever seen do that (maybe it's because I pay attention to her though).

I've also noticed that whenever we don't talk to each other, we sometimes make eye contact with each other, but she's the first to break it after a few seconds or so (she's shy around me). I'm not sure if when she breaks eye contact with me if she's blushing or not, but I've seen her blushing a few times when we were talking to each other in groups during class where I've sat straight across from her in a group, or sometimes before class when I ask her opinion or concern about something. I have tried to join the groups she's in during class since we get to choose our groups. I usually make the excuse that my friends already formed a group (which always happens since they sit in a "square formation" in class.), and she has never turned me down (an act of kindness I'm assuming), but she always smiles when I ask her and approach her. Also, whenever I talk to her, she always either smiles at me, or whenever I say something funny, she laughs and smiles even more (typical response to a joke). Even when we don't talk to each other, I sometimes catch her smiling just I wee-bit whenever we make eye-contact.

She's usually pretty talkative when she's around her friends, but whenever I speak to her alone, she talks pretty quiet and doesn't say much, which really puts a lot of pressure on what I say to her because I have to start all of our conversations. I've tried the walking slow at the end of class technique to talk to her and we do talk to each other sometimes (not very often) and now we even walk the same way as each other (we haven't talked to each other though). Usually when I'm ahead of her in the halls she walks just a little bit faster than me and passes me pretty close and darts in front of me so I have to slow up, and she stops at her locker and opens it REALLY quick, gets her book(s), and continues going my way even though there are numerous ways to get to her class and she's taking the somewhat longer route. Or, when she's ahead of me by a few feet, she sometimes walks a little slower and I catch up to her. That's a signal that she wants me to talk to her right?

I haven't had a real good conversation with her in a couple weeks (usually just a "How are you" type of thing), but she still does all of these when I do talk to her.

Maybe I'm just worrying too much, but I'm just sort of confused as to if she likes me at all because I really want to ask her out. I don't know her number or really any sort of contact with her, so I can't talk to her outside of school.

So, can someone tell me if she likes me at all because that would really boost my confidence in asking her out and getting to know her more!? Any thoughts are welcome. Thank you.

[SamIAm]

Hey Brass Player,

It sounds like she could go either way on this. If it was me that was acting that way, it would probably mean I was at least a little interested in you...and it sounds like she's similar to me. But there are other girls where maybe that wouldn't mean so much. If you wait a little to ask her out you might have more of a chance of figuring out if she likes you first, but then at the same time, if you wait too long and she DOES like you she might give up on you asking.

Maybe just go for it. If what you want is encouragement, then I'm perfectly willing to give it. There are a lot of upsides to taking the leap. Sometimes that's the best way.

Good luck! Btw my boyfriend is a brass player too.

[BrassPlayer4Life]

Thank you for your kind words and thoughts. I think she likes me a little or maybe a lot just because she is pretty shy around me, but when she's with her friends she is pretty talkative, so I think that shows something there. What do you think about her "fiddling" with her hands? She also sometimes fixes her clothes too when I'm near her, and I've heard that's a "tell-tale" sign of a girl liking you (just to add that in). I'm more-so looking for if people think if she likes me, but your encouragement is very helpful to me and I've never had a person tell me to do anything like that, so thanks!

>> Jake

[ooze]

Originally Posted by SamIAm

Hey Brass Player,

It sounds like she could go either way on this. If it was me that was acting that way, it would probably mean I was at least a little interested in you...and it sounds like she's similar to me. But there are other girls where maybe that wouldn't mean so much. If you wait a little to ask her out you might have more of a chance of figuring out if she likes you first, but then at the same time, if you wait too long and she DOES like you she might give up on you asking.

Maybe just go for it. If what you want is encouragement, then I'm perfectly willing to give it. There are a lot of upsides to taking the leap. Sometimes that's the best way.

Good luck! Btw my boyfriend is a brass player too.

I agree with sam, most guys just inted to let there thoughts get to there head alot, not saying is just you but its also something we have to overcome, ither it fear,anxiety,communication,etcetc. But its seem you're thinking to much and you just need to relax, take a deep breath and go for it. Not saying go right ahead and hurry and ask her out but dont wait TO long, just go and find out every piece of information about her toward you and her taste and flavor towards thing in life.

encouragment you want, just relax and do YOU, and she will notice you are the real deal.

[BrassPlayer4Life]

I was thinking I was getting to worked up over this, but I think that's sort of good because it's important to me. I'll just try my best to relax now. YOU"RE right! I DO need encouragement! What the heck was I saying???? I should probably trying to spend more time with her so I'll just talk to her more during class and try to find out more of her interests. Thank you so much for your reply!

>> Jake

[ooze]

You're welcome. Just keep in touch to see how it goes.

[BrassPlayer4Life]

Okay, so I talked to her today at school; we had a GREAT conversation. We talked the entire class to each other, and I didn't have to do too much of the talking either. I just told her one pretty funny story that happened to me yesterday, we laughed about it; then she actually told me stories too of things that had happened to her. We made A LOT of eye contact, were laughing constantly at each other's stories, and were smilling at each other A LOT too. Before when I talked to her, she didn't talk at all very much, was pretty shy around me, and our conversations were for like 5 minutes but we were really hitting it on today thanks to your help and encouragement. Unfortunately she had to stay after class for just a few minutes to finish her project and I had to hurry to my next class (the bell had rang already), so I couldn't talk to her while leaving class or in the hall to our next classes. Oh well though, there's always tomarrow! Thanks for your encouragement everyone; although I didn't ask her out or anything, I think we are starting to feel MUCH more comfortable around each other now that I've started talking to her again. Thanks for your help as of right now!

>> Jake

[SamIAm]

Yay! I love this! Thanks for sharing!! Keep us updated!

[BrassPlayer4Life]

Hi everyone. Okay, so we've never had ANY physical contact with each other EVER, so I came up with a plan as to how to get us to "touch" each other.

How does this sound?:
Okay, so when we both happen to be standing around and having another good conversation, I say a funny joke or comment to get us both laughing. While we are both laughing, I will reach out with my arm and touch her inner elbow or wrist area and hold my hand on her elbow/wrist for 2-3 seconds while making eye contact with her.

Does that sound like a good plan? If anyone can think of a better plan, or just give me advice as to if I should touch her yet at all or if someone has a better idea, that would be great.

I've been getting told by people on other websites that I should ask her out soon, but I don't know how or even if I should yet. (I don't want to tell my friends at school because I don't really trust anyone when it comes to relationships and dating [rumors and telling everyone].) What do you guys/girls think? I don't know really how to ask her out since one, she's always with a group of friends and the only time I can "have her all to myself" is when we have a band lesson together and I would have to leave along with her. Two, I don't have any sort of communication with her, so I can't just call her up without her knowing I know her HOME phone number right? (I know her address and home phone number secretely. [thanks white pages!])

If someone could answer these questions please, that would REALLY help me out A LOT! Thank you all!

[SamIAm]

Well...what is your goal with the physical contact? Is it just to establish that sort of physical connection as well as the mental/emotional connection? Or are you trying to flirt? Her elbow is a good place because it's fairly harmless but also pretty sweet (although the inside of the elbow might be ticklish lol). Even just barely touching her might do the trick though. I've found that for me even being patted somewhere like my shoulder or my upper back is very sweet and tender. I guess what I'm saying is don't overdo it or it has the potential to seem creepy, lol. Also, it needs to be kind of smooth and natural or it will make for awkwardness. And if you're trying to not flirt but to make a physical connection this is especially important.

Good luck!