Very, very confused

[Nitemare]

Ok I posted here awhile ago about 3 different girls. One of the girls I have really gotten close to and shes the only girl I care about anymore. Heres what I said about her in the previous post;

The first girl I've known for about 6 years. She talks alot with me, I usually have to start the conversation though. But once I do, she gets going until we have to stop to do what we have to. The problem is, I don't say much, but she still goes on and on talking about her day and constantly giggles and smiles. I try to smile back and what not, but I feel its not really me smiling, I feel I'm doing it to make her like me. She is attactive in my eyes, but I'm not sure how she feels about me. When we're not engauged in conversation, she will make a lot of eye contact with me at random intervals, or just start talking. At one point someone asked her if she liked me, this was about 2 years ago, she denied it, but it was barely a denial. She sounded like she didn't even mean it. I've taken a large liking to her and what her personality is like. But I can't tell if we're meant to be more than friends.

A lot has happened since then. A few changes is that I have started talking to her more, and my smiles to her mean something now. Eye contact has decreased a bit, and currently so has our talking. But on to what has happened since I last posted:

Things kept progressing, talking, being friends, etc. Then I asked her to homecoming, she said she just wanted to go with her friends. She was really nice about it though and kept saying sorry to me. After that, I asked if I could go with her group of friends which turned out to be 3 girls and 3 guys. Only 1 couple was in the group, but the other guy didn't like the one I like, and the other girl has a boyfriend. So needless to say, we sort've did end up going together. I met her parents, and they were nice and made general conversation with me. We all went to dinner, then to the dance. She was the only girl I danced with, and I was the only guy she danced with. I walked up to her at one point when she was alone and we just sorta looked at eachother and she got the hint that I wanted to dance so we just put our arms around eachother. Then towards the end when she wasn't doing anything because the majority of the time, she was running around with friends, I came up to her and got halfway through asking her then she got up and started walking to where she wanted us to dance. She never really looked me in the eye for whatever reason, I also noticed that the second time, her hands shook slightly. After the dance, we all went to someone's house to watch movies and we sat by eachother. I kept noticing she was sorta adjusting where she was sitting (pushing herself up a bit and moving about half an inch to a direction). The direction wasn't exactly towards me so I started wondering if she even liked me. Anyway later that night we all sorta sat around and talked, eventually only me, her, and one other girl were there. The one girl left the room, and it was just me and her sitting there for awhile. She kept playing all these "lovish and sad" songs over the speakers from youtube. I don't really know if she was trying to tell me something or what. But eventually, I had to leave so I did. She didn't sound exactly happen when I did leave and said bye multiple times. I checked myspace when I got home and her mood changed to sad for whatever reason. I think it's because she might be missing me, but thats just my guess for what it's worth.

Later in the week, she wasn't acting like herself. Getting mad at people easily, not me, and just was sorta quiet. I'm guessing it might have been that time of the month if you catch my drift, but I'm not sure. Anyway, on Friday, one of her friends that rides the bus with her asked me if I liked her (not her friend, the girl that I do infact like) and I just asked why she wanted to know. She said she talks about me all the time and was telling her a lot of stuff about homecoming and me. Then I asked what she had said, and she told me a bunch of overexaggerated things like I stalked her at football games, kept trying to dance with her, stuff like that. I told the girl that I like's friend on myspace about this, and she just told me she was probably trying to make it seemed like I was really into her because most guys aren't. I wasn't really buying into it because shes not like that. Anyway I get a phonecall about 20 minutes later, it's the girl I like asking me what the girl had told me. I told her and she said that girl was full of crap and not to believe her. We just sorta fell silent after that and eventually she had to go. We then started texting because I got her number from when she called me, she told me that my friend told her friend that I liked her and that came to a surprise because I never told him that. Her friend tells me she was kind of shocked about me liking her and that she hasn't mentioned anything about it in over a month. Anyway, I said that the girl on the bus told me she thinks you like me because you talk about me all the time, she denied it and said she just wanted to be friends and that she was sorry. I let her know she didn't have anything to be sorry about and that I understood. She changed the subject to get my mind off things. We texted for about 2 hours straight after that.

We've texted almost everyday since. But I almost always have to start the conversation and shes constantly busy so sometimes the only response I get is I'm busy, sorry, gtg bye, something along those lines. Anyway, we kept texting, but didn't talk a lot in person. We kept making a lot of eye contact and looking at eachother, things like that. But she then slowly started talking less and less, so I told her this. She said she didn't mean to do that, and said she was busy. But shes not busy passing me in the hallways or chilling at football games with other friends and talking to other guys. I told her how she talked to all these other guys and not me, she denied all the examples I gave her except one and I'll come back to him later. I apoligized for overreacting and she asked why I was so angry about her not talking to me and asked me if I thought we were dating. I said I wasn't angry, I just felt forgotten and that I knew we weren't dating. She acknowledged me but that was about it. She never really did talk to me more after that, it was just about the same.

About 1 week ago, her best friend's boyfriend started telling me the only reason she talked to me was because she didn't want to hurt my feelings. I was upset and I told her that, she said he was full of crap and that he was probably trying to make her angry. Then he said she talks about me behind my back, I told her that too and she got mad at me for believing him over her. I apoligized and things were ok after that. Things continued, and then I was asking her why she was still friends with him even though he started all this crap and made her mad constantly. She said she felt pressured to be his friend because her best friend is dating him. I let her know it's not worth being friends with someone who is constantly mean and talks about you behind your back. She said I shouldn't worry about it, so I asked if she wanted me to stop caring about her because thats what I felt like she was saying. She said Well I mean it's not anything you need to be concerned about, we can handle it. I said I'm always going to care about you and be there for you no matter what, and if you don't do something and talk to him about this, I will. She then said well thats ok but you don't have to do that. Anyway, her friend got angry at me for standing up for her and telling her to stay away from her boyfriend. But her boyfriend said he'd stop so we all stopped arguing and everything was ok again.

[Nitemare]

CONTINUED:::

We kept our friendship strong and kept talking to eachother and what not. But then the big whammy hit me. She started ignoring me after we got into a small fight about something she lied about but she forgot she did the thing that we were arguing about so it wasn't her fault and an hour later I apoligized for being so mean. She said it was all good and that she had to go. Then I tried talking to her later and she never answered me, she always answers when I texted her so I asked why she was doing that. No answer, next day, I tried talking again, no answer. I sent her a mean text asking why the hell shes ignoring me, telling her to stop and if shes busy she needs to tell me because she usually does. Still... no answer. I found out her cat died, and she was upset, I apoligized for being mean because I understood what she was going through and figured that was why she was ignoring me, but she was only ignoring me so that couldn't have been it. I watched her read my text the next day while we were on the bus, she just closed her phone... I kept texting her later asking why she was ignoring me, and I asked if her friend's boyfriend had said anything and told her I'd never do anything to hurt her just incase he was starting more crap. I finally got a response when I told her she was hurting my feelings by ignoring me... the response left me with tears brimming in my eyes. She said she liked someone else and he supposedly likes her too and she didn't want to ruin their relationship by talking to me. I let her know that we were just friends and she didn't need to ignore me for that, even though I understood why she did it because she knows I like her for more than a friend. She said they weren't dating or anything but that they hadn't got there yet. I was crushed and she said we could remain friends but not talk as much. I think this guy is the one I referred to earlier as the one she said she talked to frequently because she still talks to him a lot while she ignores most of the other guys. I didn't talk to her for 2-3 days until she finally sorta talked to me which hinted to me that she still did want to be friends. This brought me out of my bad mood, but not entirely. Anway, I talked to that guy today and found out he already has a girlfriend and I don't think that she (the girl I like) knows about this girl because she (his girlfriend) doesn't goto our school. I also think that she is assuming the guy likes her even though that they are probably just friends because this guy talks to a LOT of girls. This made me think 2 things; A. She doesn't know about this girl and is going to be hurt when she does find out, or B. She lied to me because I was possibly coming on too strong and didn't want to tell me she needed space. I'm not sure if this is even the guy she could like, but there is an extremely high chance he infact is the guy that she might like because she talks to him so much. However she could've just lied to me as easily or there is a small chance that she likes someone else but I have no idea who it might be because she barely talks to any guys anymore except this one which makes me think that it's him.

All my friends were cheering me telling me that we need to start dating, etc. Girls telling me I am really sweet and that I care about her so much, blah blah. Then they were sorry to hear all this happened and that I needed to move on, but it doesn't necessarily matter what they think, it's just what goes on between me and her because I still have feelings for her even though she has hurt me.

If theres any bright side it's that she is talking to me again, but I'm not sure how to handle the situation at this point. You basically get the gist of what is going on here, even though I may have left out some parts but it was a lot to grab from my memory in a short amount of time. I really need some advice on what to do here... Thanks.