Does the meaning of "no" answering a "Do I have a chance" really is a no?

[joey10]

I asked my bi friend if I have a chance with them and they said no. I go to school here in Los Angeles and I'm wondering whether they do really mean "no". Because i've always thought that anything possible can happen in a relationship, especially in a friendship.

[Alexstrandberg]

yes they really mean no. Once you get put into a no category there is no coming out of it. There is nothing you can do to change their minds.

Once you get this Disney, romantic fantasy of 'anything is possible in a friendship' garbage out of your head the better off you will be. Dan and Jennifer will be posting an article I wrote in about two weeks that discuses the topic of turning a friendship into a relationship.

[ChrisPharmD]

Alex, I was going to say you were an asshole for your comment, but then I read your latest article. That's good stuff.

[Beagle]

Great question. I'm waiting for Alex's article.

When you get a "no," it's about impossible to break out of that category, as Alex says. The key is to avoid getting put there. The mistake young fisherman make is to try to set the hook too rapidly, and yank it out of the fish's mouth. The key is to bait the hook, then you have to let the fish set the hook themselves. Don't ask if you have a chance. You always have a chance. I know many happily married women that didn't think the guy who they married had a chance. You just have to keep the bait (yourself, your personality, your positive attention) attract her, then let her set the hook herself