She just wants to be friends right now, what do I do?

[Brad from Maryland]

I like this girl at school a lot. We have become great friends and she just got out of a relationship with a boyfriend of over a year. She has told me that she thinks that I am very sweet and nice. Also, that she likes me a lot but she says that she still loves her old boyfriend and is torn between the two of us. I like her a lot and she makes me so happy. I do not want to lose her. She says that I am pushing her and I realize this. Yesterday we talked about it and she said that right now she just needs a friend and I am ok with that for now. I just want to know, what should I do? When do you think it will be ok for me to bring up the subject of us going out again?

[Beagle]

Brad: Just because she doesn't want a relationship now doesn't mean she never will. Pushing a girl toward a relationship is like pushing rope. it just doesn't work. You can often pull them in that direction, however. Just be very likable and make sure that all your time with her is fun and low-pressure. Often, romance blossoms from friendships. Make sure that you're not acting desperate. Make sure you keep doing things with friends and preferably seeing other girls. That way, if romance blossoms, then great. If not, nothing lost and you've got a friend.

[Brad from Maryland]

That is what I have been doing now, trying to slow everything down and make everything comfortable. I am just not used to this.

[Beagle]

There was a time you weren't used to riding a bicycle or roller skating either. Like anything else, dating is something you learn by doing it. Make sure you're cultivating relationships with other girls. Making someone the focus of all your attention is a sure way to have them lose interest.

[FemaleOrgasm]

Leadership/status is the most attractive (super) trait to women. It has many components. Here's some to start you off:

Body language: Stand tall (but have relaxed shoulders) , take up space and don't break eye contact until the other person does. Don't fidget or let your eyes dart around.

Voice: Speak with a loud resonating voice and just a little bit slower than normal. Use more pauses. Hum all the time to develop resonance. Avoid the high-pitched, fast , whiney, approval-seeking "nice-guy" voice.

Words: Your sentence structure is short and simple. You use simple words because you're more interested in getting your message in the other person's head quickly rather than trying to sound intelligent. The ironic thing is that explaining things simply makes you sound intelligent. But, don't be so “logical” and “technically correct” when talking to women because this bores them. Instead be “cocky and funny”. See below for details.

Personality:

Resilience: You don't experience many negative emotions. It takes a lot for you to feel stress. You have a rapid rebound time. You don't complain or criticize. Even if you feel stress, you APPEAR cool, calm and collected.

Extraversion: You are relaxed and feel a lot of positive emotions. You are optimistic. You walk towards other people and start conversations. You have high self-esteem (you like yourself). You make other people feel good about themselves.

Explorer: You continually learn new things. Your life is filled with many interests and hobbies (this makes you interesting and mysterious). You like to visualize your goals. You love art and music.

Focused: You move towards your goals (rather than moving away from problems), You focus on one thing at a time until you've finished. You don't multi-task (because this causes stress, is unproductive and lowers your IQ more than smoking pot), You focus your attention for 2 hours at a time then you take a break for 20 minutes where you are completely unplugged. You continually improve yourself and your products. You eliminate distractions like cell phones, email, TV etc when you focus on your projects. When you focus, you are completely relaxed and in the zone.

Challenger: You don't let other people dominate you. You punish all bad behavior (build an arsenal of constructive criticism, witty insults, legal skills and martial arts skills). You say NO calmly (ie NOT arrogantly) to people or things that don't meet your high standards. You can become a vicious mad dog if someone crosses the line. Stop apologising for being you. Unless you break the law or act like a jerk, you've got nothing to be sorry for. Give yourself permission because no one ever will. Say to yourself “I give myself permission to do that thing and I deserve to have it.” You are OK with the reality that no one really cares about you, well at least not the way you care about yourself. You are OK with the reality that most people are focused on their own problems and they don't want to hear you complain. Most people couldn't care less if you were successful or not so stop seeking their approval. You are cocky AND funny. You say and do things that are part cocky AND part funny. Don't do too much cocky because you'll come off as an arrogant jerk. Don't use too much funny because you'll come off as goofy. “C & F” could also be described as ball-busting or playfully teasing. This is a counter-intutitve way of communicating with women that makes them extremely attracted to you. You can tell you're doing it right when she's laughing, pretending to be mad with you and playfully hitting you. Always end the interaction with women a little to soon and on a positive note.This will make them what you even more and they'll be thinking about you all the time.