i am a high school student who needs assistence asking out a girl

[TeenageQuestions]

well hi i'm 15 years old my name is chris....and i have trouble with girls....now i have a lot of friends who are girls but there are only some i like more than just a friend....and i want to ask them out, the only problem is i can't because i'm afraid of them denying me and then having an awkward feelings between us. AND even besides that i've tried picking up girls before.BOTTOM LINE how do i pick up girls,and if the girl i want to date is a friend then how do i ask them out on a date w/out having wierd feelings if the decline from my offer?

[RRandolph]

Hey Chris,

Yeah I've been there; super nervous when talking to girls, especially if I wanted to "ask them out". A big part of it is what does it mean to you if she accepts or rejects you? If your mind is making it mean more than it is, you will feel very nervous whereas if you dont think it means anything then its easier.

I know when took a more casual approach and said something like "Hey I'm going to see my friends band play friday night, why don't you come along" its a lot less pressure for her then saying "Hey will you go out with me friday". This way, you are already doing something fun (seeing your friends band) and she can join in on the fun or not. If not, then its her loss.

If you want to overcome nervousness, its really good to practice the situation beforehand.

[Dan And Jennifer]

Remember "No" is just a word and it doesn't make you less of a person when a girl tells you "No". There could be one of a hundred reasons that she doesn't want to date you that have nothing to do with you.

• Maybe she's grounded
• Maybe her parents won't let her date and she's embarrassed to tell you that
• Maybe she really does have other plans

and...

Maybe she just doesn't like you that way - and that's OK too.

I absolutely agree with RRandolph. Make her decision about the event, not about you... That way if she says no, she's not saying no to you, but saying no to the activity.

[Pulsinelli42]

I know exactly how you feel. I am also 15 and having the exact same problem. Everybody around me seems to be hooking up and I feel alone all the time. I decided to ask a girl out last night and she said she had other plans. I took it as a rejection but then found out it was really a good thing because another girl told me she liked me. Things will work out. Just try thats what i am attempting to do.

[harobike123]

I agree with RRandolph. Ask her in a casual way, to something that your already doing, or something that just sort of pops up...one I used was asking one of my friends if she'd, "like to grab a coffee after class" --- it's not too formal, and seems kind of spontaneous. Another that I used was just saying I was going to a movie one night and I asked if she'd like to come.

Come up with something that suites her interests and yours.