Does being single forever makes you gay?

[Angel]

First of all i'm in my early 30's, unemployed but still jobhunting, i'm black belt in tae kwon do, never finished college and lack of dating experience. I haven't go on a date for a couple of years and when i was my my lovers we had great and bad moments. Since my last partner i haven't returned to the dating world for two reasons; one is that i have no college or technicla degree and two i'm in my early thirties and i'm in an age that i should act as my age and not as a person who i was ten years ago. Since then it has been difficult to go back dating but i don't go to bars due that those are wrong places to meet people. If i want to go to a bar i can make my own margaritas in my own home. I am also kind of a loner and don't have enough friend. Online datine forget about it. Paying for a memebership to get laid and end dissapointed that you haven't found nothing is a mayor bummer. So cutting to the chase here is my problem. Is it normal to stay single forever even if were in my 50's and never get laid or i should say i had enough of dating will my family, friends and family memebrs might thing i'm gay?There a lot dilemmas that someone graduates from college, meet someone, get married before 30 and maybe forming a family. But not everyone share that idea and then comes the doubts if i'm single for long they could suspect that i'm gay. I've discovered to have sexual preference of the opposite sex since i was 8 or 9 years old so obviously that doesn't make me gay. My brother is married and has a 2 year old child, my younger brother has a girlfriend and me the big brother........single. It is sad but sometimes it's happy for me to be single but i always ask if i'm missing great moments like those when i had my partner if i were dating again. Please answer my question and sorry for writing a long message but i had to include some personal stuff about me and what i'm going through. Great site and excellent videos you have made.

[K. in Cleveland]

Just because someone is single their whole life does not make them gay. especially today, when more and more states and insurance companies are recognizing same sex marriages.... it's more common to see same sex couples, so a "confirmed bachelor" or whatever terminology, isn't as much assumed to be gay than in days past. Unless you enjoy sex with other guys you're not gay.

Are you happy being single? It sounds like you'd like to meet someone. Bars are a hit or miss thing, and I understand what you are saying about the online dating. I met my fiancee online. He and I were both on AOL and I just happened to look up someone with the same interests as myself and we hit it off... this may be an option for you... whatever internet service you choose... AOL, Yahoo!, MSN, etc. etc or even the dreaded MySpace... Or there's single's mixers or dances at many hotels or clubs... and there's plenty of people in their 30's and 40's there.. men and women. There's also churches (I don't know your situation there...) and clubs and organizations that have single's events... Or you can go the old fashioned way and place a classified in the paper. Believe it or not some people still do that!

As far as not having graduated college.. so what? You obviously manage to take care of yourself, so what does it matter whether or not you have a degree? Unless of course you want it, then what's stopping you from going back to school? There's actually some good resources for adults who are looking to go back to school... not just high school seniors...

Don't worry about fitting in to society's "perfect" model of having a college degree, married at 25, 2 kids, a dog, and a white picket fence, if it's not what you want. If you do want something resembling this picture, then what's stopping you from going for it?

There's a lot of people getting back into the dating scene at your age.. it might be refreshing for someone to meet you, someone without a lot of experience with dating, because you'd be fresh and un-soured at the whole scene.

Go for what you want, not what you think the world wants you to do.

[jayped]

exactly! don't ever lose hope....why won't you try dating other girl? i mean from different country? you might find your girl.....nothing is impossible...