My Fiancée Avoids Anal Sex Except When Drunk

[scifi_aaron]

Things have went up and down, I tried slowly over time, she tried it with me once, nothing happened, at all, then she gave up, now she totally hates it, she made me choose between her and this, which is more like a fetish now, I seem to be obsessed with it more the longer I go without it, and as it's been over a year it's pretty bad, she won't let me touch her down there in any way and will never, ever try anything again because when we tried she was tense and it hurt, she knows there is other ways to try and things to stop it hurting, I bought some anal eaze gel and a starter set of plugs which go from really small to pretty big in 3 sizes, but she still won't try anything at all. I don't know if I can handle it.. not doing it is fine but knowing you can never ever do something that you want a lot.. I don't know if I can handle that, I'm so depressed over it, I feel so dirty. I wrote everything down and showed her, and told her to try to understand how I felt, she still said no, and got upset and then I felt like shit but she kept making me choose between having those thoughts and being with her.. pretty impossible to stop thoughts or stop liking something, then I had to make everything better and kept trying to keep her because she was going to leave. I pretty much had a mental breakdown for totally unrelated reasons only about a week ago. It's not like I can talk about this subject with anyone I know and it's not like anyone I know would understand.. to be honest it's not as if I really have any real friends..

I'm just thinking now that I'll avoid all sexual activities to lower testosterone and over time maybe when she is begging me for sex because I won't give it in months she might know how I have to feel everyday, even then she won't understand or do it. and even if she's just really horny and says she will do it I know it would just be that time, which would be once again unsuccessful and she would hate it even more, I'd feel even more crap so I just won't do it, I'll just have to keep turning her down even if she offers me everything I want sexually.

I'm pretty sure after a while no sex won't be enough for her so she will cheat or something, even though it kind of always feels like that for me, for years.

Also we talked and stuff, she wanted to do me with a strap on, she said she always wanted one and stuff and it would turn her on, but I really don't feel open enough to do it when she isn't willing to do anything like that for me.

Any comments because I don't know what to do?

[rob]

If she really doesn't want to then there isn't much you can do. If she really hates it then you shouldn't force her-as you said, you'd feel bad if you force her.

The best I can think of is to forget about it. Sorry.
one question for you: why do you want it so much. It seems to me the only real reason you want it is because you can't have it.
I can all but guarantee you, wait another month or so and you'l have forgotten about it.
I might be able to give you betteradvice, but only if i know why you want it so much.

[scifi_aaron]

I don't know why it is so big, if you read the original post maybe you will get a better idea, it is slowly worse the longer I go without it, it is like going without sex, you kind of get desperate for it, I can't help it, I'm never going to force it, but so far it has been over a year and it's still on my mind more than a year ago as far as I can remember, but maybe it was the same, I don't remember, either way I can't help it, it's just a huge turn on and hate that I can't have it anymore, for now it would be ok, but knowing I'd never have it is hard for me to handle, I know it's stupid and I should forget about it, I just can't seem to.

[rob]

Either come up with a fantasy you want more than anal sex, that she'swilling to do.
Or wait it out-and hope. Stop thinking about it; you know you probably won't get it, so there's no point.
Everyone wants something they can't have. Whether it be monetary, sexually or skill related. You can control those urges, you can control this one.

[scifi_aaron]

An amazing thing happened, she went out with friends and got drunk, usual thing for a friday night with friends, when she came home she slept for a while and I couldn't sleep in the middle of the night, she woke up and talked a lot, then I rubbed her back a load and she was getting turned on, then she wanted to have sex so I put a condom on and went for it, I thought I did it wrong because she said "not in there" but then I kept pushing and it wouldn't go in after she moved me. Then she told me to lay down, she got on top and put it in, it was so tight, I wasn't totally sure though so I asked why she was so tight and she said "it's not my cunt" and I haven't done anything sexual in a few days to stop thinking about it, and she did that and was riding me with her ass, it didn't last long lol, not with that build-up, but it was amazing that she did it for me, she said she wanted it when I was rubbing her back, and liked it, and it didn't hurt as much as before. She said she will do it again but only when she wants then she will be more relaxed. In the morning a package came and it was a strap-on, for us both, she got horny just seeing it, we had sex and then I put it on and did her really hard, she loved it and was talking dirty about a load of anal sex and double penetration with the strap on and different positions, and asked me to talk dirty about fucking her ass. Amazing, overnight difference, she is still thinking the same way so it's not just alcohol. she is ready to experiment more with me aswell with anal plugs and stuff. It is really turning her on now, I talked to her because I was confused over the overnight change and she explained that alcohol made her realise she is more for it than she thought and it isn't so bad, but only when she wants to not when I do because she can't relax. She will only do it when she's horny a lot, but it's not hard to do that with a few finger tricks and the strap on.

[scifi_aaron]

Wow, literally only a few minutes after I posted that last post she came in and was getting turned on, she told me that she wanted to use her bullet vibrator, and she wanted to use the strap on for double penetration with her on top, and doggy style, I asked which first and she chose the bullet, she used it and came, then she wanted to do double penetration sex with her on top, she tried but the dildo is hollow and it folded so it didn't really work, I asked her what she wanted to do, she said she wanted to sort me out first and then I do her with the strap on, I thought it would just be vaginal, but she lowered herself onto me, inserted me into her anus and rode me slowly, it was amazing, really slow so it lasted longer, she controlled it all, I could tell it hurt a tiny bit for her but in her face I knew she was liking the way it turned her on, but then afterwards she had some discomfort and didn't want to use the strap on for sex. But she was ok and still didn't regret it, she just said she was in a weird comfort zone, I just think it's amazing how she is opening up and we had anal sex twice in 2 days after she said she hated it and never would do it, and it was her idea to, I'm mostly glad that she is open to it sober, because after the first time she said we'd only do it when she wanted to, and that may only be when she's drunk and I'd have to accept that, I did, but I'm glad she's open to it sober aswell, and she is open to using a anal plug once it comes so she can get used to it and lose the pain, so all is good, and I don't even know why I'm posting this, I'm just so happy about it.