fetish or gay?

[paul c]

I am a married man in my late 30's, and all my life I have been very sexual. I am a cross dresser, and love anal stimulation too. I have had sex, both oral and anal with 3 guys, but other than the anal stimulation I didnt really care for any of the experiences,nor do I really want to do them again. When I say Im very sexual, I mean if I dont get sex, I NEED to masturbate or I go crazy. Do you guys think I may be gay, or just over sexual?

[Xero]

I don't want to call you bi. But you may be, because of having sex with three men.

That's really your choice in the end, no one can really define you but yourself.

Having anal stimulation is nothing having to do with you being gay. The anus is just a very sensitive area that can be stimulated for great pleasure on males. So if your conferable with it go and enjoy your self.

You probably are, but just be faithful toy our partner/spouse, and have fun with life.

[Hatez]

your question seems to be are you gay or not well it sounds to me like we must look at the defonishion of gay or homosexual, you said you did enjoy anal stimulation and crossdressing but when you did it with men you didnt like it. i belive that the correct definishion of homosexual is someone who enjoys sex with someone of the same gender.
you enjoyed it up until you did it with men now if you didnt enjoy it then i dont see how thats gay it sounds to me like your into feminization or sissyfication and strapon training which i belive is part of the bdsm fetish.
so i wouldnt worry about it

[enigmax]

well...sometimes i feel like getting anal-fucked bby some muscular guy...thats why i am bottom for a few hot hunks....but mostly i enjoy sex wid girls...so i dun call myself gay....and i dun think wid just one experience u can be gay...its just a taste of life.

[slittylicker]

If you have to ask others, then that's a strong possibility.
If you like anal stimulation, why do you have a man perform it if you are not gay?
Straight men do not want a man to touch them sexually.
Why not use toys or have a woman do it for you?
Bi is a gay who hasn't admitted it yet.
I hope you used condoms so your wife doesn't get HIV.

[scarbowl]

Interesting comments.

There's nothing about a woman's anus that would give her greater pleasure being stimulated there than a man. So if there are women who like it then there are men who enjoy it. It has nothing to do with preferring men or women.

As Xero said, there are a lot of nerve ending there. You can enjoy this with a woman (see postings on "pegging").

Also, the idea that "a bi is someone who hasn't admitted being gay" is simply silly. There are straights and there are gays and everything in between. Why can't a person enjoy both sexes? That's bi - that's not gay.

But you don't seem to want to be with men. And there are plenty of straight men who want to enjoy the occasional homosexual encounter. Those guys in the adult video store, at highway reststops, public toilets, etc. They aren't gay - many are married and even happily so. They just want a different experience.

Hatez has the correct definition.

[slittylicker]

Sorry...we are all entitled to our opinions.
I am very familiar with the Kinsey's Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale.
The reality is, it is a married man engaging in "homosexual acts."
It's one thing to have a thought...it's another to feel so compelled to act on it.
Thoughts come into our heads that would not be appropriate to act on. We can't control what thoughts come into our head...we can control what we do with them. For example: you see a really sexy underage female...acceptable behavior...turn your head and get rid of the thought ASAP.
I personally cringe when I see video of a woman blowing 2 guys at once and their dicks touch.

There's nothing about a woman's anus that would give her greater pleasure being stimulated there than a man. So if there are women who like it then there are men who enjoy it. It has nothing to do with preferring men or women.
As Xero said, there are a lot of nerve ending there. You can enjoy this with a woman (see postings on "pegging").

Actually, it might be more pleasure for the man because of the location of the prostate. I have no problem with deriving pleasure from anal stimulation. I love it when a woman is open-minded enough to engage in anal play. I was referring to the gender of the partner who is doing the inserting or stimulating.

Also, the idea that "a bi is someone who hasn't admitted being gay" is simply silly. There are straights and there are gays and everything in between. Why can't a person enjoy both sexes? That's bi - that's not gay.

I don't know if I believe or agree with that, but that's my right as well as it is yours. Are they with a woman because of society's standards, but at the same time, they are so compelled to have a homosexual experience, that they must act on it. Would they tell there wife that they are doing it? Why do they have to sneak around and do it?

Those guys in the adult video store, at highway reststops, public toilets, etc.

These are closet gays. That's just creepy...sorry. I think the word is "cruisin"
If it's so normal and acceptable, why don't they tell their wife?

But you don't seem to want to be with men. And there are plenty of straight men who want to enjoy the occasional homosexual encounter.

I don't know what happened to them as a child, but we all have our experiences that make us what we are today. I. personally had an experience when I was 10 yrs old. It's considered to be normal for adolescents to experiment. Well, a group of guys were jerking off and daring each other to put their mouth on each other's dicks. I was in a state of horror and had no desire to do any of it. I did feel the peer pressure but I was horrified by the whole thing. Today, i am very open-minded and probably hyper-sexual but I have never had a homosexual experience and I am now 51 yrs old. Women feel right and the thought of a man is a total turn-off. But that's just me.
I don't know what you mean by "plenty of STRAIGHT men." Maybe those are just the ones you're focusing on to justify your behavior.
There are "plenty" of people who do a lot of things...I just don't do them.

[Queen Gibbon]

frankly anyone who thinks a bisexual is a gay who hasn't admitted it yet is a bit of a retard and prejudiced. bisexuality is a valid sexuality with many people staying bi their whole lives and having genuine sexual attraction to both genders.

Its makes logical sense for their to be bisexuals as it seems there is always someone attracted to something if it exists men and women exist and gay and straight exist bi is no more unusual and why is it a hurdle to except that more so that homosexuality.

statistically there are more bisexuals of both genders than lesbians and nearly as many as gay men. there is much evidence to show sexuality is caused by prenatal hormone with evidence to show how homosexuality and bisexuality could occurr. evolutionary wise bisexuality makes sense within the human psyche its efficient.
finally there are bis who stay that way their whole life but would rather be gay or straight. they aren;t scared of being gay the just like the opposite sex too.
it seems to me its a very unhappy self concious person who can't except and criticises the validity of others sexuality.

[slittylicker]

frankly anyone who thinks a bisexual is a gay who hasn't admitted it yet is a bit of a retard and prejudiced. bisexuality is a valid sexuality with many people staying bi their whole lives and having genuine sexual attraction to both genders.

Like I said...we are all entitled to our opinions. That doesn't make me a retard. In fact I graduated college as a member of the national honor society, so I'm not a retard.
It's just the way I view the subject. I don't believe that a man calls himself Bi and who acts on homosexual urges is always truly heterosexual, even if he does have sex with women. Who knows what he must fantasize about to be able to perform with women. It just seems unlikely to me that a man who love women sexually could be open to having homosexual sex. I am not judging or criticizing. I don't hate them or disrespect them. I accept them for who they are.

Its makes logical sense for their to be bisexuals as it seems there is always someone attracted to something if it exists men and women exist and gay and straight exist bi is no more unusual and why is it a hurdle to except that more so that homosexuality.

Because I feel that, for a man to be open to having sex with a man, the urge and the importance must be so overwhelming, that they must act on it, regardless of the consequences. Men who are truly turned on by women would have no need to act out in that way.

statistically there are more bisexuals of both genders than lesbians and nearly as many as gay men. there is much evidence to show sexuality is caused by prenatal hormone with evidence to show how homosexuality and bisexuality could occurr. evolutionary wise bisexuality makes sense within the human psyche its efficient.
finally there are bis who stay that way their whole life but would rather be gay or straight. they aren;t scared of being gay the just like the opposite sex too.

We don't really know...we can only speculate. In an age where there are Evangelist Preachers who secretly have sex with a male prostitute, while posing as a married, Holy, Role-Model for religious fanatics, it's difficult to know or prove what's really going on.

it seems to me its a very unhappy self concious person who can't except and criticises the validity of others sexuality.

I'm sorry if you think i was criticizing. I was just stating my feelings and thoughts on this subject. I don't have anything against anyone who knows they are gay or anyone who struggles with their sexuality. I just find it hard to believe that a man who has homosexual sex with 3 different men is, straight. Only the individual knows the truth. It's up to each individual to be true to themselves so they can live and be free.

[Queen Gibbon]

Well an opinion is only valid if it is logically justifiable. If its just made up then its not really respectable. No I'm not saying men who have sex with men can be heterosexual. I think if one has sex with men and is male and enjoys it is highly probable they are bi or gay I would too as you be highly sceptical that they could truly be heterosexual.

But many people enjoy sex with either gender and are able to have romantic relationships with either. However I think what you are saying is that if they are in a relationship with one gender say e.g. they are married and they have an overwhelming urge to be with the same gender again they can't be truly enjoying their opposite sex partner.

I see what you mean by this and it does suggest a homosexual possibility but it also can suggest bisexual but not a very strong loyalty to their partner. Some people find monogamy impossible regardless of their sexuality.
Yet there are many bisexuals who genuinly like both genders sexually can have romantic relationships with either but are fullfilled when they are with one person. This coming from the mouth of a female monogamous bisexual who has been this way many years and is defintely not gay or straight. tried to convince myself i was gay and straight and different times but it just became aparant i like both bodies and therefore just find a human i am attracted to and love. I also know many bisexual monogamous males. so yeah we do exist. sexuality is most likely from birth as why would one choose anything as distressing and looked down upon as bisexuality by choice. In the past I'd of given my arm to be hetero. I think its possible our thread starter is most likely bi but I don't think that gives license to cheat on his lover.