I'm 19 and still single - help!

[jojo]

Im 19 and still single. I have never een been asked out or on a date with a girl. Im not a looser. Im very nice. Im not fat or ugly. I do work out and I have an athletic and inshape body. I dont smoke. Im in college. I am shy. Why am I still single. and should I just accept that this is what it will be like for the rest of my life.

[BrassPlayer4Life]

I think you might still be single because since you're shy, you might not have talked to other women so much because you're a little nervous (like me). Try flirting with a woman at your college or try making some friends with other women there. Since you're inshape and you sound like an athlete, women who are into athletics should be like a magnet to you if you'd try talking to them. You should try to talk a little bit more if you're shy. Try with all your will power to talk to women especially, and not just people you know. People who are also shy have the same problems as you, so maybe you should try talking to another shy girl at your college since you will both be sorta nervous. If you like a girl at your college, try your hardest to talk to her. I don't know if this is exactly the answer that you're looking for, but I hope this sort of helps. If you want a girlfriend, you can't accept not having one the rest of your life. Good luck, and don't give up!

[scarbowl]

It probably doesn't help to say this but your line should read "I'm ONLY 19...". You're very young, yet. There is time. I'm confused that you say "I've never been asked out on a date with a girl." Maybe it is time for you to do the asking. Don't wait - that's victim mentality. Take some control in your life. There are a lot of women in your college and someone there would be delighted to go out with you.

Read some dating tips from this site and others. Make sure you are practicing your good manners - at the table, when picking her up, etc. Ask about her - don't talk too much about yourself. And DON'T bemoan your lack of dating history. DON'T sound as though you've been alone and lonely and desperate for a date. DON'T sound depressed. That's the surest way not to go out again.

[Max]

Oh man! The day has come that I have found another guy with the EXACT same problem as me! I too am 19, well groomed, in shape, in University, I work, and never been with a girl in a relationship. Wow... I finally realized how small this world is. BUT! I have a Foot Fetish... so I am a little more shy/scared. BUT! (again) I am working hard at getting this issue resolved. Dude, in no way are you a loser!!! YOU ARE IN COLLEGE!!!! YOU ARE GOOD LOOKING (by what you said)!!!! DO LIKE ME AND GET OFF YOUR ASS AND GET YOURSELF TOGETHER... AND START DATING! I am asking a girl out this week, I hope she says yes, I need a bit of help, but that is for another Forum Topic. ANYWAYS! Long story SHORT! You are in no way a loser my friend, and you should get that through your head immediately. You are educated, and all of the above! GOOD LUCK!!!

Oh and by the way... there is no such thing as too late, that is why God invented death!

MaxS.

[Willow n Pa]

jojo

thats the big question of course. I do know u cant let it get u depressed cuz you look your worst when ur depressed.
u gotta get going n loearn how to flirt. This waz the worst for me but its funny it almost becomes second nature after a while. i can give some moves i learned but ibest you experment n see wat works for u.
so far i only flirt n school but it sort of works good.
good luck
willow

[Dan And Jennifer]

Originally Posted by scarbowl

Don't wait - that's victim mentality. Take some control in your life. There are a lot of women in your college and someone there would be delighted to go out with you.

Read some dating tips from this site and others. Make sure you are practicing your good manners - at the table, when picking her up, etc. Ask about her - don't talk too much about yourself. And DON'T bemoan your lack of dating history. DON'T sound as though you've been alone and lonely and desperate for a date. DON'T sound depressed. That's the surest way not to go out again.

Right on Scarbowl, on all counts!

Jojo - Take charge of your life and decide this is going to change. Today. Get out there, meet women, get comfortable around them.

Meet women without trying to date them, just as people. That way you'll get comfortable around them. And being comfortable with yourself around others - completely at ease and confident - is very attractive to women.

Good looking women in particular are very accustomed to guys being shy and uncomfortable around them, sometimes to the point of where they can't even talk straight. So a guy that's comfortable around them suddenly stands out as someone that's "interesting".

I can walk into a room of people I don't know and feel at ease and comfortable, or I can walk up to most anyone and chat about most anything. That's where you want to be - secure and confident in yourself and who you are. It certainly wasn't always like that, but it really boils down to getting comfortable and secure with yourself.

The trick here is to get over the shyness, around people in general, and then particularly around women. Make some new friends, join some groups or clubs in your area.

Meetup.com is great for finding interest group clubs in your area - join 10 of them. Get comfortable around diverse groups of people.

Toastmasters is an international organization for people to become confident public speakers. They meet weekly or monthly just about everywhere and the meetings are usually free. Something like that will help you with your confidence.

Take a step back from trying to find the perfect girl to date - instead work on the shyness issue. That will make a world of difference for your dating success.

Give it a try, let us know how it goes!

Dan

[jojo]

Im 19 Im not ugly I have a fit athletic body, Im very nice. I never had a GF or even been on a date or anything. I just dont know what to do. I am nice to everyone but it just seems like everone still just steps on me. Its time that somebody pleases me intead of me always pleasing everybody else. It just seems like god hates me. I dont know what to do. should I give up and just finally get it in my head that I will be alone the rest of my life. Tell me what you think.

[militarymedic]

jojo I had to learn how to talk to girls and flirt and all that good stuff after I got back from iraq and so many things had change with me. This might sound a little brash or even a little rule but like so many other things in life dating is a numbers game. the more u put out there the more you will get back. by me saying that i am not saying your are gunna get alot of yes answers but at the same time you might not get alot of no answers either. A good example of this is a buddy of mine when I was in the service never went home alone from the bar and the girl might not always be the most beautiful thing in the place but he proved to me that it is a numbers game.

[Frankthetank]

"I never had a GF or even been on a date or anything. I just dont know what to do."
Oh man you're really falling in that "poor me" attitude. It's important that you come out of this. The circumstances you're in is the result of the past decisions you made. Your life is your responsibility, although it's not always fair.
I'm sure you know what to do. When you really want to get this handled buy two of the best dating books. The layguide would be a good start. Get comfortable with appraoching women asap. Walk around to say hi to strangers then to beautiful girls then make a short comment and so on. Even when it's so scary that you shit your pants you have to do it. What you fear most is often what you most have to do. Once you did it you can be proud of yourself and laugh about what you were afraid of. A basic knowledge of attraction, behaviour and heart values is key. Women are a reward for living a good life. But whatever when you start taking interest you will discover it all yourself.

"I am nice to everyone but it just seems like everone still just steps on me."
That's a simple boundary problem. Being nice to everyone is seeking approval that's being untrue to yourself, women will notice that, it's insincere. You are giving away your power.

"Its time that somebody pleases me intead of me always pleasing everybody else."
It's not your responsibility to please anyone, nor is it any responsibility for everyone to please you. You should be able to please yourself so much that you don't need anyone to do it.

You have to find out how things work in life, until then it's very difficult.It's time to grab life on it's balls.