gay lov ( i need help)

[SoraMoonSong]

what do i say i can't juz go i'm gay and i love u would u be my BF



oh... and can i hav ur e-mail would be easier to talk

[FreezeFlame]

That's not what you say :P

The conversation might go a bit like this:

-Alone, hanging out or something-

*It's a fairly quiet moment, you two aren't really talking much. Just relaxing.*
You: Uh... can I talk to you about something?
Him: Sure, what's up?
You: Well... we're good friends, right?
Him: Yeah, of course.
You: Can I tell you a secret?
Him: Sure.
You: Promise not to tell anyone?
Him: Yep, I promise.
You: Well... I don't exactly like girls...
Him: Oh... so you're...?
You: Yeah, I'm gay.


That's just one way it could possibly go. What happens after that is really dependant on if he has a big problem with it or not. Seeing as you two are such good friends I really don't think there will be any problems with it.

But yeah, don't tell him you love him yet. That's something you tell him another time.

And I'll message you my email.

[SoraMoonSong]

To hear my sad story

a 12 year olds endless misery

[FreezeFlame]

I've felt that way. It's love, for certain (though some more "experienced" souls would call it obsession when really it's just a different form from usual), and I've felt it.

I told you on msn about the boy I loved, who was in my classes. I felt so strongly for him, moreso than any crushes from the past. The first time I saw him I had to leave the room and collapsed in the school bathroom, my heart pounding so hard in my chest. He only fueled the flames of my desire by treating me with a kindness he didn't seem to display toward any other strangers.

When everything was wonderful between us one of his friends came up to me (who was also a friend of mine) and she said:

"When he talks about you it's in the same way as when he speaks of a girl he has a crush on."

And then, after so much had happened between us... we both seemed to give up on our friendship or whatever you could call what we had. I pushed him away because I was worried about him rejecting me in the end. He began to hate me because of the rumor that started...

And here we are, almost 4 months later. I've grown up a lot over the summer vacation, and if I could have gone back to the first moment he confronted me about the rumor I would have done everything so differently.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are those who can relate to you. The love between a man and a man is as valid as the love shared by a man and woman, or two women. It's not really a heartbreaking story when you think about it. You find yourself so deep in love, which is a beautiful (albeit painful) thing. Treasure it, because when you stop feeling those ways it sometimes feels empty---not having anyone to think of all the time.

((I'm seeing him for the first time since school ended today. We probably won't even talk, but I'm curious as to how I feel. If I see him without feeling that thud in my heart I'll know I'm over him))

[SoraMoonSong]

dude juz read my post again now i know i am obsessed

[SoraMoonSong]

hey Gindec if u get this i would love to hear what happened with the boy ,I am sorry I have'nt been online in a while but I had a major exam and my com broke.

[FreezeFlame]

Nothing much happened with the boy. He avoids me, I do my best to make little passive digs at him, it's a nice little harmony we have going on.

I know, I'm being immature.

Anyway, he doesn't matter anymore. On to bigger and better boys.

Well, better... bigger may be found out later

Hope I didn't just break any rules with that last statement! XD

[SoraMoonSong]

I have missed talking to u. You seem like the only gay I know ;( .
Wow...bigger...bad pun Kurt.Go on ur msn more often u r nvr online i have stayed up till 4 am waiting for u.

Urproblem is solved (at least the boy one) mine is getting worse.I just feel sick and wrong.every nite is spent twisting and turning to get him out of my head, I hate my sex and my sexuality even more everyday...My school is giving a sex talk on monday and tuesday...guess what it contains sexuality...so now my head hurts and i feel like having an emotional break down.I know this will sound sick and wrong but...I get an erection just by thinking his name...It sounds wrong i know but it scares me..I just play his name in his voice in my head and bam a boner.really creepy...I sound like a stalker...and my dreams are getting worse It always involves him one way or another...my thoughts drift to him when I think about random stuff: like apples.and my head keeps telling me he won't like me, so it gets worse and worse...Kurt pls I will be online from 16 to 21 oct ( whch reminds me when u get online I have to ask u something )without much pause i will only sleep from midnight to 2 am ( singapore)so pls go online and chat...I need consolence.

Oh...and BTW I did not know u were so dirty minded ( not saying that is bad ) anyways ur a teen it is in ur mind set...anyhoo miss u and guess what, I have a webcam and if i remember properly u have one too.. so if u do i want to have a video chat with u...than u can see I am not some 40 something rapist (<== kidding on that )

Oh and everyone else I would love more comments juz follow what we have said and try to keep up.

[FreezeFlame]

That was rather crude in some senses. Oh well.

Anyway, all I can think to say is:

What you feel for him is normal. You like him, it's as simple as that. It's the same as if you liked a girl, she'd be on your mind no matter what as well. I've experienced both, so I should know.
Don't feel bad because of how you feel for him. You can't beat yourself up over your sexuality (Trust me, there will be enough of those who WANT to in the future). You are who you are. Embrace it, love it, take pride in it. Just let things run their course, eventually the feelings will fade. I don't think of my old guy very much anymore, and certainly not with such longing and fondness as before.
I trust that you are who you say you are, just as the people on here trust that I am who I say I am. There's no need to prove anything to me.

You're quite young, you'll make gay friends in real life once you're closer to adulthood. Don't rush things so much.

There will be other boys who you will feel much differently for. How you feel now isn't what I would consider entirely true love. You know you're in love when you get to know the person very well, and feel the same feelings of desire to be with them while at the same time feeling a rather tranquil feeling when your thoughts drift to them, rather than a sort of nervous pain.

I'll try to make it online, but don't stay up waiting for me. It's no wonder you feel like such a mess right now, you're making yourself crazy with all of this lost sleep and focusing on one person.

I have a dirty mind, very much so. Well, some would consider it dirty, but I like to consider it "sexually-comfortable". I can talk to mostly anyone about sex and taboos without feeling awkward at all, which is something people aren't used to seeing. I have a reputation at my school for it, actually. Some people get really creeped out by the fact that I'll openly talk about seeing shock porn, but that doesn't bother me. Plus, they all eventually HAVE to like me because they all want to find out what I'll say next. It's fun, really.

But yes, I'll try to make it online. If you catch me during your normal hours, great. If not, oh well.

[SoraMoonSong]

FYI. I have the habit of two hour sleep.It just is normal for me.(though I avoid this on school nights) I am a night person so ..Oh well.

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS SHINY !!! I am not a mess !! I just am mentally unstable let me explain : OCD ( self diagnosed ), Depressed ( everyone says I am ), Issues on being alone ( I hate being the only person doing something or at someplace ) I am not a mess i did not sleep for days and felt ok.

The only thing is screwing me up is the fact I'm gay. Something just keeps telling me its wrong ( voices in my head ?? Add that to the list ><)

Oh and maybe it is the boy issue...*sigh* my head hurts.Got this freaking headache. [ can some idiot get me an asprin ] *sigh*

I will wait for you I will stay up every chance I get * sticks-out-tongue * don't try to stop me. You are the only gay I know personally and I WILL get to talk to you eventually. ( I am stong-willed don't blame yourself )

(I don't care if I am crude, blunt and dirty minded I am like this, like it or not)