gay lov ( i need help)

[SoraMoonSong]

hi i'm 12 (i am a boy) i like this boy and he is like 16
he is my "cousin" in a lose term but he is not related to me
i realli lov him and i want to tell him but i'm scared he would juz avoid me
This will sound corny but........
i spend every free second thinking of him
i actually manage to cry myself to sleep about the thought that he won't love me
i realli need help on how t tell him
i want 2 tell him by christmas 2008
please help,
SoraMoonSong

[K. in Cleveland]

Wow, I can really see a lot of emotions must be flying through your heart and mind right now. I know you feel like you're in love, but I don't feel that at 12 you really know that kind of love, gay or straight or whatever. I'm sure you have feelings, and I do believe that people know who they are from a very young age, as to sexual identity. But love is a different story. At 12 your emotions are changing, you have hormones raging, there is chemical attraction going on... but love requires really knowing a person, and talking with them, being with them. You are experiencing a hard crush in my opinion. It feels like love, it really does, but it is not.
As far as this older boy goes... well, I'm not one to diss age differences, but at your age I think this age difference is a bigger deal. Your interests and his are most likely very different.
Also, do you know if this boy is gay? If he is not, and you do say something to him, he might say something mean to you and harass you, and tell other people who would do the same.
I know it's hard to ignore these feelings, but I feel at this point that is the best thing you can do.

[SoraMoonSong]

we had a conversation don't know it might help but
me:and if she does not like me and we will never be friends anymore?
(i used the fake "i like a gurl what do i do buit i actually like you" thing on him )
him:if shes not your fren then that will happen if she is then it won't

[FreezeFlame]

Well, as a gay fourteen-year-old male I know what it's like to feel how you do. I'm not one of those who say that you are ever too young to feel love, it's just a variation.

Anyway, telling him how you feel can be a big step and it can definitely make things awkward. Since he's 16 even if he is gay he probably won't really want anything more than friendship with you until you're older.

As overwhelming as how you feel right now can be, you still want to be very careful as to whether or not you express those feelings right now. Try to just be friends with him, at least until you're both older. If you still feel the same way for him in 6 years then you'll know whether or not it's worth telling him.

My advice to you for the moment is to just continue being friends with him but set your sights on someone closer to your age.

How well do you know him?

[SoraMoonSong]

he is my best fren i can tell him anything ( except that i'm gay apparantly)
when i'm all emo and grouchy he would cheer me up and tell me how great i am

[FreezeFlame]

Originally Posted by SoraMoonSong

he is my best fren i can tell him anything ( except that i'm gay apparantly)
when i'm all emo and grouchy he would cheer me up and tell me how great i am

It sounds like you guys are really close. Look for obvious signs that tell you he likes you as more than a friend.

Things like cuddling, handholding, touching you in certain "ways", and other things usually only done by couples are a good indicator of whether or not he is interested in you.

But yes, just keep in mind that you're so close when you're thinking about telling him how you feel. Remember that if you aren't sure he'll be okay with it... you're risking a very good friendship. That's not to say don't ever tell him, just be sure that it's a risk worth taking when you do.

Oh, and I suggest coming out to him well before telling him how you feel. It'll be less of a shock to him if he doesn't have to face two things at once (You being gay and you being in love with him).

[SoraMoonSong]

he usully puts his arm around my shoulder



soooooooooo.......... tell him i'm gay first or i like him first

[FreezeFlame]

Originally Posted by SoraMoonSong

he usully puts his arm around my shoulder

That's nothing big. Lots of guy friends do that, so I wouldn't put too much faith in that "sign". It's like a buddy thing.

soooooooooo.......... tell him i'm gay first or i like him first

Tell him you're gay first.

If you tell him you like him then you're also telling him that you're gay.

Just tell him that you're gay, see how he reacts, and wait for however long (Weeks, months, years) it takes until you're ready to tell him how you feel (AND be sure that HE is ready to hear it, too).

[SoraMoonSong]

so how do i tell him
place ?
time?
atmosphere?



and how do i tell if he likes me?

[FreezeFlame]

Originally Posted by SoraMoonSong

so how do i tell him
place ?
time?
atmosphere?

It's really different for everyone. But a few things most try to stick to are:

-At a calm time when the two of you are relaxed and there's no negative tension
-When you're alone with him (Or whoever you're coming out to)
-When you feel is right is the best time. You'll know when it's time. You'll feel the words almost crawl up your throat until you find yourself saying "Hey... can I talk to you about something?"

and how do i tell if he likes me?

Again, it's different for everyone. We all have or ways of showing romantic feelings. If he acts like you two are in a relationship then there's a better chance of him being interested than if he's just kind of "Yeah, sure, whatever" to you.

Note: By relationship I mean when he's trying to treat you like a boyfriend. When he's cuddling with you often, sometimes they even kiss you.

Just don't jump to any hasty conclusions and say to yourself "OMG! He's being really friendly to me so he must like me!" or anything like that.

Better to be calm about it than make any stupid decisions that you'll regret in 24 hours.