I support my boyfriend's feelings of homosexuality...but the rest of the world doesn't

[Dee]

Hi guys. I've got a bit of a problem, could you help me out?

I am a young, sexually comfortable woman and my boyfriend and I have been together nearly two years and are in a committed, loving relationship. Not only is he my lover, but he is also my very best friend, as I am his, and we are both open minded, creative and curious people. From the very beginning, he was thrilled to find a girl who wouldn't cringe at his sexual fantasies of having sex with other men, his sexual attraction to himself, and his love of gay porn. I, in turn, appreciated his understanding of my similar sexual quirks, and since then we've talked openly about our sexuality, and what a pity it is that the society we live in is so terribly homophobic.

Though I lost my virginity to my boyfriend, I have been with other women. My boyfriend, however, has been with other women (with whom he was unable to climax), but never another man, and very much wants to. He and I have a great sex life, and we talk easily about what we want and need. I know I am superior to the other women he has been with, but I feel as if I can't compete with another man, as I do not enjoy anal sex or performing oral sex on my boyfriend. (he's ok with these things, by the by).

He says he's bothered, and feels like he can't talk to me about his "gayness" anymore. His need to have sex with a guy still really, really, REALLY turns me on, honestly. I'm just scared of losing the great sexual relationship we have. Why? Because, well, I'm not a man, and I can't compare.

Also, I feel that other people will look down upon him morally for his feelings of "gayness". Why? How do we adjust to such a harsh world?

Thanks,

-the Dee

[Vivian]

This is going to sound a bit off but, have you tried using a strap on and using it on him. A lot of men who don't even have gay feelings like to be sexual in this way. I wasn't sure how I would like to do this but it is very impowering as a woman to strap one on and do it. I would suggest reading up on how to approach this because like on us you can't just jolt something in there. It has to be worked up to. I know how you feel, I am not a big fan of anal on myself but hey if he wants to have it done to him try it. The worst thing, you don't like it. The best is it saves him from wanting to do it with a man.

[jeanintro*quitex]

Meeee!!!! This is my topic!

First, you're right, you can't compare nor compete, because you don't have a penis and "men" does not have vaginas or boobs. Maybe boobs sometimes, but not vaginas. And if he is straight, and he is since he is your boyfriend, he might like the experience, but he will always prefer you over him.

It is not healthy nor normal to prefer your fantasies over your "real life". Talk about it. it is basically confidence issues from both you and him. Make sure your communication is Ok, that you're (both) not judgmental and very caring of each other.

Fantasies are for enjoy them, not to dwell on them And if you want you can get some dildos and play with him that way?

Jean
-who would help you out, but I'm too young

[Dee]

That doesn't sound off at all, Vivian, I've actually been considering it. I want to...buuuuuuuut, I'm nervous. But hearing something supportive every so often helps!! I'm going to bring up the subject sometime soon.

Thank you!!

-Dee