What do i do about telling people that im Bisexual?

[Byron c.]

I am very scared.i am bi and happy about it.i want to know how to tell people that i am.i am the only person in my family thats Bi and i have no friends thats Bi jest straight / gay . but i am affraid how they will take it and if they will accept me for it or dislike me because of it. i only have one person i told about it my coz (best friend)and she accepted me for it but we have been through good and bad so i knew she would but im not sure about everyone else


Help

[rob]

Just say so, Just tell them. there's nothing to be ashamed of. If they don't accept you for what you are, then are they really the sort of people you'd want to be around?

[Byron c.]

When i do tell someone something people i trust they jest say that im bi-courious or something idk realy what to do

[rob]

As I said, if they can't accept you, then they probably don't want to know.
And, how did you get your other friend to believe? If he believed off the spot, maybe he was ready to know. maybe your friends aren't ready.
You could keep telling them, but if they insist on you being bi-curious, then there isn't much you can do.
Another point: does it matter? If they insist on you being bi-curious, then just say that you know you're not and if they still insist, oh well. does it matter? They're just your friends, and unless you've directly said you're straight/gay then it doesn'tespecially matter.

[Byron c.]

that may be it maybe as ive heard millions of times afraid of me / gay people and even know ive knew them all my life they dont know the true me and when they find out and they act that way it couls jest be there not a true friend.......oh this friend were jest very very close in a non-sex way shes a friend non-the less ty for the help

[Tara222]

Hey, i also hve the same prob, except i haen't een told a SINGLE person yet (not even my best friend) and the thing is, i did try asking a few online buddies who have this prob. wht i should do, and they all just give me the same reply-- JUST TELL THEM!! the thing is, i kno i hve to (or rather i want to) tell them, but how do u start this topic??? it's not just that, but what if im just being paranoid a/b me being bi? I have no idea how to deal with this~

help!!!

[Lithium]

You know, honestly, i am bi too. At first, I know it's hard to tell anyone. But i decided to tell my family. They talked to me and all, but at the end, they were able to accept me.

Even my friends, after telling them, they accepted me as I am because my preference for partner can be different for them, but it's still the same old me.

So my advice is to take it slowly, tell it to people whom you trust. Some people may be judgmental, but you could always show them that you are still you. The only thing that changed is the sexual preference of your for a partner.

[Ability In KY]

hey i am bi too. all the people in my circle of friends know. but my family doesnt it would cause problems with maybe even ruin what i have with them i guess what im trying to say weight what will happen before you tell them hope that helped

signed
Ability in KY

[wdg3rd]

Every male mammal above the level of a shrew is bisexual and that includes every human being. Yes, in some species' (mostly plant eaters) it's a simple dominance thing. In most of the primates it's a friendship thing. Then we get to homo sapiens and "morals" rear their ugly head. (In reptiles and birds, it's pure color prejudice).

Yeah, as a child it's "show me yours, I'll show you mine", whether the other party is same or other gender. Harmless, but these days would get both participants (at least the male(s) if there was a difference in gender) on a Megan's list for life.

Yes, I did my experimentation in my early 20s. Good friend assigned to the hospital at the air base I was stationed at. I'm not gay, we stayed friends. His eventual life-partner was the first in history to get a medical discharge due to admitting homosexual fantasies to a USAF psychiatrist. (Mind you, Tim and DJ had been living together for a year by then).

Of course, at the time I experimented with DJ (it was a long weekend and a case of California champagne) I was already polyandrous (look it up), but my wife and cohusband were three thousand miles away. (They were "legally" married" so they were stationed together at Eglin in Florida, I could not be stationed with them as the USAF did not recognize any form of marriage except M/F monogamy)\

There's all this hooraw about "gay marriage" and whether or not governments should recognize it. Yeah verily, fuck that. Government has no business in marriage. Marriage is a private contract between two (or more) people (and their g-d if they have one). The government gets involved because they want taxes and to control morals that are none of their fucking business.

Sorry about the "graphic" (which means writing) language. I could have used the word "damned" instead of the word "fucking", but that's just replacing obscenity with profanity and in some cultures profanity is worse than obscenity (read anything by Dante sometime). (Anybody doesn't know the difference, look it the damned fuck up, try Google or even dictionary.com).

Ward

Then again there's this bit about understanding sexual orientation by another straight guy, Ron White. YouTube - RON WHITE- "Do You Like Porn" ??

[Beagle]

Byron: This is a very complex issue, and one that doesn't lend itself well to short "you should..." blurbs, but here goes.

As a general rule, people fear what is beyond their normal real of experience. You have a set of people who believe whatever they're told to believe, and they never question it. These are the people who are going to react negatively to your sexuality. One key step is being selective in the people whom you choose to share that part of your life with. Some people aren't going to accept it, and aren't going to have any more to do with you. The same is true for religion or race or sometimes even your political affiliation. One of my friends was disowned by her family for leaving the Catholic church. Ignorance is everywhere. There are people who think "My mind's made up; don't confuse me with information." There will be some, true friends, for whom it doesn't matter. There will be some who are initially freaked out, but will relax as they learn more about it. A common fear among straight men is that by associating with a non-straight man they will somehow "catch" homosexuality. Another common fear is that you are making advances on them. The best way to combat this is by showing that you always respect other people's boundaries.

The sad reality is that whenever we take a strong stand for anything, there will be people who reject us. If you begin professing strong pro-choice or pro-life beliefs, some people will have a problem with that and walk away from you. Not everyone is going to accept you for who you are and what you believe. Remember, Ghandi, Jesus, Mother Theresa, and the Buddha all ran into rejection for what they believe and who they were. If you're never offending anyone, it's because you're not standing for anything. If you choose to make a stand for your sexual orientation, you can expect some people to react negatively. Some will rally to your cause, however. Statistically, you're not the only non-straight person in your circle of acquaintances.

I think a key for you is going to be picking your battles carefully. I am a fairly private person, and my sex life isn't something I routinely discuss. I suppose sharing this with family is a big choice for you. Ultimately, I don't think anyone can advise you on that. Some people will say "____ if they can' take it." However, if that's your only support system, that may not be a wise decision. You know them better than anyone, and you're the only one who can make that call. You have to decide what battles you're willing to fight.

I live in a fairly metropolitan college town, and we have very little discrimination, at least that I see. However, in some of the smaller communities around here, a person of non-conventional sexual orientation could easily be the target of violence. As the bumper sticker says, "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers." Again, I think you have to find that balance for yourself. I think the healthiest approach lies between wearing a t-shirt proclaiming your orientation and denying who you are. Again, it comes down to applying discretion in whom you choose to share that part of your life with. Those are deeply personal decisions, and I would reserve the right to make those choices for myself.

I sincerely hope this helps. In my counseling career, I've been privileged to work with numerous youth who were "coming out." Every situation is different, and there is no "this is what you should do" answer here.

If you have any more questions, please come back and post. We will be glad to help any way we can. I wish you the best in making the choices that are right for you.