I like my best friend and we're both of the same gender- what should i do?

[Beagle]

Tara, I think we just might be over analyzing a little here. I know you want more. We don't know if she's interested in a girl or not. Guess what? That's exactly the same situation we're in every time we take a girl out. You've got to stop thinking that way or you'll never get anywhere. You invite her to do things, make it fun and relaxing, don't pressure her, and make sure there is some physical contact. Wrestling, punch on the arm, or the classic girl move, grabbing someones arm or leg because you're scared in a movie (That one really works, by the way. We know you're not really scared, but it's still fun.) Walk arm in arm. Any light non-sexual contact is building tension. Remember, you're trying to win a girls heart here. You know how you want to be won.

Just do what I would do.

1. Invite her to do something fun, relaxing, and non sexual.
2. Be low pressure, fun, and likable. Make her enjoy being with you.
3. As the situation arises allow playful physical contact.
4. Look into her eyes as often as possible. Become lost in them. Let her talk and hang on every word. Stay lost in her eyes. That lets tension build.
5. From there, romantic tension will either build or it won't. If it does, you'll be sitting side by side on the floor watching a movie. Just tilt your head and lower it slightly toward her. She'll either reciprocate and move to meet your in a kiss or she'll suddenly find something else to look at in the opposite direction. Then you'll have your answer.

I may be hung by the guys for telling you how we do it, but I've had a good life.

When you go after a girl, you've got to go like there's no possibility of failure. You've got to convince yourself that you're hot. Then, go slow and steady like you have no doubt you'll reach your destination.

I suspect she's more interested here already than you realize. I also suspect that this may be easier than you're expecting. Go get her!

Guys, sorry for giving out all our methods.

[Tara222]

Haha, thankss~ and you're right, i'm probaly overanalyzing things~ it's just that i tend to fall in love too often with a lot of people, so i wouldn't really know if i should take it seriously or not~ so i guess i'll try it starting tomorrrow and i'll post any progress on the post~ no plan and have fun with a little bit of phsycial contact here and there~ that's the guy's methods? lol, i like guys too you know, so hearing this is hilarious~ Anyways, i feel like there was something else i needed to know... any other advice???

[Beagle]

Tara: I suspect we may be over-analyzing a little here. I also suspect she may have been interested and that this may not be as hard as you're thinking.

Remember, you're trying to win a girls heart here. You're a girl, so you know how you want to be won. Just do what I would do.

1. Ask her to do something. Smaller is better. Not a big production; that's for later. Ask her to help you take your car to the shop or pick up your cat at the vet. Anything so there's time together.

2. Then ask her to do something fun. Keep it fun and low pressure. No pressure for romance or, above all, commitment. That's where guys lose out with girls. You have to just let the tension build.

3. Make eye contact as much as possible. Get lost in her eyes. Let her talk and hang on every word. Stay lost in her eyes. That will let your pupils dilate and give you those eyes she can get lost in; like you hear about.

4. Make non-sexual physical contact as often as possible. Play wrestling, sitting shoulder to shoulder, even walking arm in arm. It can't be sexual at this point. No hands on the hip or waist. Entirely brother-to-brother playful or relaxing.

5. At this point, romantic tension will either start to build or it won't. If it's meant to be, you'll start to notice a romantic tension in the air. If you have to ask if it's there yet, it's not. Then, you make a little more contact. You can even do the classic girl-move and grab her arm or shoulder when you're scared in a movie. (We know you're not really scared; but it's still lots of fun.) This process should happen over several weeks. Always break the contact just before she's ready for you to. Always leave before she's ready for you to go. Call her a couple days later and make plans for a day or two ahead. That let's anticipation build. If the chemistry is there, she'll start feeling an anticipation of being with you. Always call frequently, but end it before she's ready for you to go.

6. If it's happening-over several weeks-you'll feel a tension rising when you're side by side. Then, one night, when you're sitting in the floor watching a movie, shoulder to shoulder, you turn your head toward her. Make sure you're slightly above her. Make eye contact. Then, tilt your head to the side slightly and lower it toward her. She will either meet you in a kiss or she will suddenly find something very interesting in the opposite direction. Then you either have your girl or you have your answer.

I may get hung by the guys for giving our methods away, but I've had a good life.

When you're going after a girl, you've got to go like there's no possiblity of failure. You've got to know that you're hot and she's going to dig you. Then, you've go to go slow, knowing that you're just waiting until she realizes it. That's the attitude you've go to have to be successful with girls.

Now, go get your girl!

[Beagle]

I thought my first response had been lost because it didn't show up, so I repeated it.I don't know what happened. GTG.

[Tara222]

omg, guys have to go through this whole process??? haha, oka oka oka, then. So this should last for about 1 month or so??? Then, i better get started I'll be asking you for help if anything comes up~ thnxs so much! I really do feel a little more confident now; like i have a chance since i talked about it with someone. I suppose it's just going take awhile depending on the situation; wish me luck:P

[Tara222]

so this is the update for the past 3 days :P

i called her and we're planning to go on walks everyday (stay fit) for about an hour at least. That gives about an hour to just catch up on things and stuff... and that's pretty much it...

anyways, there's something that's been bugging me... you know how i said that i was avoiding her for awhile? what if she DID like me (sorta in that way) and after i started avoiding her, she just quit? I don't know, thinking that I didn't like her in that way? OMG, i'm freaking out right now...

WEll, im just writing what's on my mind, i guess that's about it (besides the obsession to keep waiting for a call from her :P~ oh well...

[Beagle]

I wouldn't sweat the "What if she liked me before?" thing. If she did or didn't, there's no reason she can't now, so that really doesn't affect anything. I've ran into girls I used to like, but we never dated, then had a romance flare later. It's really not an issue.

Be sure to keep up the sexual/romantic tension. It's OK if she knows you're interested; just don't be pushy or smothering.

FYI, yes, this is what we guys have to think about all the time.

Be sure to just be yourself and trust that, if it's mean to happen, that it will happen. While you have to have a strategy, don't get so caught up in it that you don't enjoy the moment. Be sure to just enjoy her company. That's a great turnon. Also, be sure to have just a little more physical contact than you would with someone who was "just a friend."

[Tara222]

Hey sorry for the verry late update on my relationship. Well, I guess it just didn't work out-- I didn't tell her. She's moving to a different state (middle of nowhere, haha) in 5 days and I know that I don't wanna long term relationship. So, I know I should be hanging out more for the last few days, but I'm done... I really don't wanna like someone that I realized I should'n't have liked (personal reasons and such). Besides, she's kind of caught up in her other friends and all. [Sorry for getting all dramatic :P] Of course, I was kind of expecting it... (her moving, that is) although I don't know how... I just wasn't surprised when she told me. So even afterwards, it didn't hit me until like just now that we'll never see each other again. And although I could always look for someone else, she was someone I seriously liked... I might just tell her at the very least that I was bisexual {maybe] and that I liked her if I get caught up in the whole conversation, although I probably won't. And it's not like I just gave up-- today (her birthday) I got her answer-- She's not against gays/lesbians/bi but she wouldn't be in a relationship because of religious reasons. And that's why it was kind of hard for me to confess in the first place-- (My religion is 'against' gays/lesbians/bi)

so I guess that was my end of that relationship...