Frustrated and feeling unappreciated by my husband - when do i quit?

[Selena]

Sex with my husband has become very frustrating. Firstly, he expects me to give him a BJ then I get on all fours getting his. He comes to orgasm and I seldomly do. Afterwards, I always feel used. He then wonders why I openly don't great him at the door everyday when he gets home. Most of the time he heads straight to the computer and talks to everyone else except me. Sometimes I just want to yell, "Selfish Asshole!" because that's all that I can think of at that time. I honestly don't know if there is any love in our marriage.
I want to work things out but at what point do you throw in the towel?

[Dan And Jennifer]

Hi Selena,

This may seem like a very basic question, but does he know how you feel - does he truly "get" that you're feeling so under appreciated and unimportant to him?

I'd guess that if you left it would sure get his attention... but perhaps he just doesn't realize it. Men can be a little slow sometimes.

If you have talked about it - how did you do it? In the middle of an argument, or as a sit down "we have to talk about something" situation?

And have you seen a therapist to try to work out these issues? Sometimes it takes an UNBIASED third party (not friends or family) to help us see more clearly what we otherwise ignore for some silly reason (read: complacency).

[Selena]

My husband and I had a really good talk one day after you guys responded. We understand each other alot better. I guess he was feeling unappreciated, too. It seemed like a neverending circle conversation at first but once we both understood each others feelings, we opened up better and stopped blaming each other. Things are much better now that we are more open and not afraid hurting each others ego. Talking and setting aside egos works out much better. I am staying positive and I am sure things will change for the better. Thank you guys alot.

[Dan And Jennifer]

Selena, wow, that's awesome!

Just keep at it, remember relationships are a work in progress. and like everything else in life, don't get discouraged when you run into other humps, it's life, they'll be there.

But if you guys keep talking openly - and without blame - couldn't have said it better myself - that is SO powerful.

Most relationships begin this downward spiral that tends to fuel itself and go faster and faster, as each party throws more blame and more ego at it. It can be so hard to stop it - but once you do, you have a real chance at a wonderful relationship again.

That is awesome. Keep us updated!

And watch this video with our good friend and advisor Paul Carlson - both of you if you can.

Do You Know The #1 Secret To A Truly Happy Relationship?

[sexisgood4u]

When I have sex with a woman I make sure she does climax at least three times before I get mine. I was married to a waomn for five years. We had sex everyday. She would cum three times cunninglus and twice intercourse. I made sure every single time. On weekends we would have sex a dozen times. I can't understand a woman staying with a guy that wouldn't make sure his woman got off. I mean even if a guy couldn't get hard he could finger her or lick the jar. I mean it's that important. If he won't take the time leave him, because it's his responsibility.

[MIMI]

See if your man will set down and talk to you. Find some type of way to communicate. Sex is important. But we sometimes do not take the time out to see what is going on with our spouse. And you need that attention. Some people require a wake me up call. Sex is not everything but you should be pleased as well. It is great that you feel the need to figure things out instead of just quitting.