What do i do about a best friend i am in love with?

[kcp54321]

I have been best friends with a girl for about 3 years now and we are freshmen in college. (both 18) I have been in liked her a lot ever since i met her and have really started to love her over the last year. I was always to scared to tell her in high school but i kind of made it aware that i liked her and she always knew but said nothing to me about it really. Well now i have pretty much told her that i am in love with her and that she is all i think about, only problem is she has had a boyfriend for a year and a half now who she says she is in love with. He is 23 and in the army. When i told her how much i love her though, she told me that in highschool she felt the same way but was too scared to ruin our friendship. She says that now the timing is all wrong but that if there was a way we could be together it would be perfect but she always says to me that we never know what could happen in the future. So pretty much she is telling me that she loves me but is still to scared of what could go wrong. Do you think she does love me and really does want to be with me but is too scared? What should i do? I'm scared i will never be able to get over her after all of this if it never works out, and being just "friends" is so hard for me. Please help!

[kcp54321]

hey, cant i just get one reply? im kinda desperate

[Alexstrandberg]

hey man,

There are many issues going on here.

1. You are in love with a girl that isn't in love with you. At one time she might of felt attraction for you but this seems to be long gone. It was there at one time or another but it has left because you are unable to move on with your life.

A guy holding a flame for a woman that he isn't with for that many years is a clear sign of neediness and desperation. These things are not very attractive to women and will chase them away. Even if she was single I would highly doubt the relationship would last for very long.

2. You lack integrity and respect. You have very little respect for the girl and her choice of who she wants to date.

Put aside the romantic Disney fairy tale for a moment of winning over a woman and take a look at what you are trying to do. You are trying to get a girl to leave her boyfriend and you are encroaching on their relationship. That clearly lacks respect and integrity.

How would you feel if you were currently dating her and some other guy was pulling the same thing that you are doing right now? I doubt it would make you feel very good at all.

Any signs that she might be attracted to you can be attributed to her boyfriend being away. Loneliness and long distance relationships can cause a girl to reach out to other males for company (you).

My suggestion would be to respect their relationship and let her go. I'll break the image of her for you...she's not perfect or one in a million. With 3.5 BILLION women walking the earth right now statistically she is one of thousands if not hundreds of thousands.

I hope that helps, cheers