No More Mr. Nice Guy

[Beagle]

One of the most common private inquiries I get is from guys who are being relegated to the "Friend zone" by girls. The other day, I happened to pick up a book that I think was excellent. The book was No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover. The book was recommended to me, and I will say I found it to be excellent. My first thought was "This is going to be a book on how to be a jerk." Nothing was further from the truth. I wish this book had of been around when I was younger and falling all over myself trying to please women. He gives a perfect description of me when I was a young man.

I can relate to a lot of this, because I was something of a "nice guy" and I got my heart stomped on frequently, by women who considered me a "friend" to whom they complained about their jerk boyfriends. I realize now, how my Nice Guy syndrome was the cause. A lot of the stuff in this book is things I figured out myself through trail and error. As I was reading it, I thought "Boy, I wish I had of had this twenty years ago." It deserves a read.

Here is an excerpt that I found especially applicable: (I kept expecting to see a picture of my 22-year-old self beside it.):

Due to their family and social condition, nice guys tend to seek the approval of women. Even as they are trying to become what they believe women want them to be and doing what they believe women want them to do, Nice Guys tend to experience frustration in gaining the approval they so intensely desire.

This frustration is due to the reality that, in general, women view men who try to please them as weak and hold these men in contempt…..Women consistently share with me that they don’t want a passive, pleasing wimp. They want a man….

I support myself through my psychology practice, and I have absolutely no connection to the author except that I obtained his permission to quote him and link to his website. I just thought it might help someone, which is the only reason I'm here.

The website for the author and book is No More Mr. Nice Guy

It's also available at Amazon.com: No More Mr. Nice Guy! (9780762415335): Robert A. Glover: Books

If you read this book, please post and let me know what you think.

[Xero]

Just from reading the quote thats me wow... just wow...

Now I see why I get in shitty moods here n there every so often.

[Beagle]

Xero: I kind of had the same reaction - Sort of "Wow; that's me!" The book is incredible. Back in college, I was the guy that the girls would tell about their jerk boyfriends. He calls that being a "girlfriend with a penis." I think he's really onto something.

[rdonovan1]

That's really good. I have that book myself and I am always trying to balance things out.

I'm not really sure what the attraction is for women, but for some reason they tend to like guys that are kind of the romantic bad boy type. I guess that type of guy is more of a challenge for them, but if you take it too far and forget to know when to be nice and when not to be nice then they will think that you are just a jerk.

The best area to be in is the Alpha male. If you can establish yourself as the Alpha male.

I've learned that from studying seduction and attraction from some of the top pick up artists in the world and from my own interactions with women and I'm still learning as well.

I'm at the point of wanting to create a list of do's and don'ts for both guys and girls as to what to do to win the opposite sex and to what to do if you want to lose the opposite sex as I tend to believe that there are many guys and girls that are either very confused on the subject or just plain ignorant and that goes for both guys and girls.

I've kind of come across this lately due to my online and offline escapdes with women and I am finding that girls seem to be just as confused and naive on the subject as guys because they are always treating guys like they are success objects and not as real people.

I'm of the mindset that a relationship should always be 50-50 with neither side treating each other as a sex object or a success object and that they should both be taking the time to work together to not only understand one another better, but to also create better, longer lasting, and more satisfying relationships in which they both come out ahead and I think that if more guys and girls were to do that then the divorce rate would drop significantaly in the United States. That's just my personal opinion of the issue.

[Beagle]

That's been my experience as well. As I continue to study it, it continues to amaze me how much of it applies to me. I often found myself talking to girls I would like to date, only to have them confide in me about their jerk boyfriends. Of course, they were staying with their jerk boyfriends.

I think this guy is really onto something. I can learn a lot from him.

[YourEternalRest]

A girlfriend with a penis? Haha. That line made me laugh.

I don't think I fall under any of the categories. I'm certainly not the nice guy that girls like to tell complain about their bfs to, nor am I the "jerk bf" type that makes girls complain to their nice guy (or in this case, the gf with a penis LOL).

[Beagle]

YourEternalRest: That was my reaction as well. He held a mirror up for me. This book is definitely worth reading. I had several "Wow, why didn't I see this!" moments.

[slittylicker]

I have to check this out!