How do I get this guy out of my mind?

[traveling girl]

Hi all!

I met a very nice guy about half a year ago and we started going out as friends. We saw each other 2 or 3 times a week over the summer, went to the park, had dinners, lunches, told each other about our lives etc. basically had a great time. I fell quite badly for him.

He, however, didn’t fall for me that badly. He definitely seemed attracted to me and we get on fantastically well but when I made my feelings clear he told me that he just wanted to be friends and that at the moment he wants to concentrate on his job and was not looking for a relationship. To add to the problem (or the solution…) I have now moved abroad for work.

When we met I knew I was taking up a new job abroad and was very open about it from the outset.

He has always been very sweet but quite clear that he wanted to be friends and nothing more but my brain doesn’t seem to accept it. Even to the last day when we went for lunch before I left, we had a great time and I told him I still had a crush on him. He told that I will surely meet someone abroad and I said well, I’m sure I will but I wish it was you!

On the other hand we use to get on so well that when I said, as a joke, “oh you could come and live in the country I’m moving to” he replied “hey why not!” and said he’d always wanted to work abroad etc.

Now I’m in my new city I really love it but I still horribly long for him and want to speak to him all the time. I moved away a couple of weeks ago and I constantly think about him. I have fantasies that he’s going to move here and that he will realise I’m the woman of his dreams (yeah I know… ) Every time I do something new or see something weird I want to share it with him.

I am actually physically restraining myself from emailing/ texting him every day (ok, I have texted him twice and emailed once in the last 2 weeks but have promised myself not to call him until at least next Friday) He’s not yet replied to any of these texts/email and I know part of it is because he wants me to move on a bit.

So really my question is this, how do I get him out of my mind? I really do not want to lose him as a friend as he’s a really lovely person but I do want to move on emotionally. Shall I set myself a time not to have any contacts with him (2 weeks/1 month)? Will the feelings just diminish with time? It’s really, really hard!

Oh it probably doesn't really matter in the story but I'm 31 (and should probably know better than having irrational crushes!!)

Thanks for your help!

[YourEternalRest]

Originally Posted by traveling girl

Will the feelings just diminish with time?

I think that's the best approach to take. It may not feel like it now but yes, it will go away after some time. The distance will help in the long run to get over him. This is probably not the answer you wanted to hear but unless you go back to where he lives and see him as often as you used to, I don't think this relationship has a chance of progressing.