It's 10:00, do you know where your sex toys are?

[K. in Cleveland]

OK, I was just reminiscing with my fianceé about a car accident he was in a little over a year ago. Everyone ended up being fine, by the way, and both vehicles were able to be fixed.

OK, so here's the story.

I was asked to house sit for some friends of mine who were going to be out of town for 5 days. They said my (then) boyfriend was welcome and specifically said there were fresh sheets on the bed and that when we were done to throw the sheets in the hamper. A pretty clear invitation, no doubt.
My Scott was working the first day I was watching the house, but he had put some "goodies" in his van before going to work, to ensure we could have a fun week. Well, unfortunately on his ride over to the house from work he was in an accident which required him to be taken to the ER and his vehicle to be towed. Now, in this particular city, the police department has a policy of inventorying everything in a vehicle that is towed for any reason.
It was about an hour after the accident, I'm sitting with Scott in the ER, and this nice police officer comes in to get his statement, write a ticket, all that blah blah blah police-y stuff... Well, after all that was done he said he needed Scott to look over the inventory the police had taken to ensure all of his belongings were accounted for.

On that pink piece of carbon paper was this list:
2 bags of wild bird food
1 pair of winter boots (black)
1 bag assorted sex toys
2 small bags women's lingerie
1 bag various restraints

I'm sure the police officers doing the inventory had a good laugh at this, seeing as at the time of the crash he was a single guy driving alone...

Oddly enough, the officer didn't read aloud the items on the list... and I could see the slight grin that was on his face, obviously holding back laughter and some questions. He also didn't seem to want to look at me. Could it be that Mr. Law was more embarassed by the toys than little ole me?