I am suspicious of guys dating online

[Demetria in Washington]

I am not attractive and never have been. So guys have never been attracted to me. One of my friends suggested that I try online dating. So I put up a profile to see what would happen.

I am getting responses, and that makes me very suspicious because dudes in real life have never been interested in me. So now I am wondering if these people who are responding to me are just doing so to see what kind of response they will get out of me.

Should I be suspicious of such responses?

[Jet in B.C.]

You should always be cautious about things like that.
Talk to them and find out what they are about.
What they are like and what they like to do and stuff.
But always keep in mind that you do not know this person compeletly
don't get into anything serious with anyone you have met online, it can be dangerous.
get to know them first through phone calls and emails.
Then if you feel comfortable, make a get to know you lunch or something.
But dont make it a date, have it in an open area with lots of people around
and make sure you tell someone where you are going.
Safty is always first.
If you meet the guy and you get a vibe that he only wants one thing, then tell him you had a good time, but you dont think that he is right for you.
but if you meet the guy and think he is a good guy, try to arange a get together with your friends and see if they feel the same way about the guy as you do.

[lisaq]

First of all, regardless of what you've been led to believe, not all men are attracted to looks. There are wonderful, incredible men out there attracted to a person's inner beauty and energy.

That being said, I have to say that I'm very sad to hear you talk about yourself in such a way. I honestly think the first place for you to begin is within yourself. You sound unhappy and as if you don't love yourself. And you have to love yourself for someone else to love you. Period.

Secondly, if you were so sure you were unlovable why did you post a profile to begin with? To prove to yourself that guys aren't interested in you? I sincerely hope not. You need to have a little faith in you!

If you truly want to find someone, you have to give people the benefit of the doubt. Didn't you write a wonderful profile designed to attract? Of course you did. And they did.

Yes, there are guys out there who aren't who or what they say they are, but you can weed them out by watching for red flags. The rest? Give them a chance.

[kira]

First of all, beauty is something that radiates from within. The right man will gravitate toward that inner beauty. Men are attracted to confidence.

Secondly, online dating is not scary, you just have to keep a straight head about it. Jet in BC was right to meet for a casual lunch in a public place to initially get to know each other.

The key to online dating is to go with your instincts. Don't meet someone you don't feel is genuine. Also, don't expect to find Mr. Right immediately.
In the meantime, spend some time on yourself. Treat yourself to a spa day or a day reading in the park, anything that you enjoy doing that makes you feel good about yourself. The first step is to love yourself. I know it is cliche but you have to love yourself before you can expect to love someone else.

Don't forget that YOU come first! Go get em' girl!

[Exavion]

It's rather uncommon for people to approach one-another in real life, and I might say this, the hotter you are, the less likely you are to be approached simply because you're more, well, intimidating.

[cukrik]

dont take all those responses to your profile too personally. The guys are probably sending messages to lots of girls. This is what is online dating about.

It means that the guys do think you are not a waste of time

feel free to reply them all, unles you send out some details like your addres real name telephone number, you are safe. //EDit: yes dating can be dangerous

and other peoples advices made me lawl. yes, exactly those advices who say "you get many responses because from a guys who like inner beauty" haha there's no such a thing as an inner beauty.

[Kalim]

mmm online guys are freaky! Whenever I have met someone online ... 2 women? I normally am not looking for a woman at the time. I spend most of my time trying to freak them out. This last one that is my current woman... I actually said as my sales pitch " I promise to not chop you up into little pieces unless you tell me too... " and somehow that got me an in... Who would have thought a school teacher would except that as an answer...



anyway I believe for the most part the human race is trustworthy.

[MIMI]

First of all loving yourself is the key to any happiness in life. My boyfriend feels like he is unacceptable to the world for what people have said to him in the past. I think the world of him. So the response that said that people do not look at inner beauty is wrong. But society as a whole does. Majority rules. Some people get together for the wrong reasons. Sex, money, and looks. There is no foundation in these things. On line dating to me is dangerous. My boyfriend does online chatting. I do not like it. Here is the thing. He fells just like you. And he started on line chatting for the same reason you have. Now he is addicted. he has had on line relationships but when it came to the person to person meet and greet. the outcome was the same as any other outcome in his past. I have been with him for three years.We meant in my neighborhood. I approached him. He is still here. Regardless of what he is saying to these other females, he is still here. Unless you meet someone that feels like you do until you change yourself. That is who is going to accept you. But I think that most people that do online date chatiing are insecure, perverts, or lonely (just wanting conversation). Even with some insecure people they are looking for someone acceptable by society. It will make them feel accepted as if that person makes or characteizes them. When society tells him or her, "Damn you can do a lot etter than that", basing off looks or money. On line dating is just that on line. You still have to seperate the truth from the fiction once you meet. Nine out of ten your not the only one they are chatting with. Most people that are on there already have relationships. Many are looking for a cheap thrill. Be careful.

[Javier19]

Maybe the guys are also unnatractive in real life and dont get girls easily?

it sounds harsh and nasty please it isnt ment to be, but guys like that have very low standards.

[Dibiase]

Originally Posted by Javier19

Maybe the guys are also unnatractive in real life and dont get girls easily?

it sounds harsh and nasty please it isnt ment to be, but guys like that have very low standards.

Right you are