I am feeling guilty about dating 2 men!!

[susieQ]

I have been separated from my husband for three years and have been going through the divorce process for one year. I am a 43 year old stay at home mom and wanted to start dating to get some adult time. I chose to seek out the on-line dating process. I started dating one man and we went to lunch and at the end hugged and gave each other a peck. Our next date was to lunch and a movie and again it ended with a hug and a peck. We only see each other every two weeks and he calls every 2 or 3 days except when he has his kids. In the meantime I started chatting and decided to go one a date with another man. We were first going to just meet for coffee and we ended up going to dinner and then the movies. We both didn't want the date to end but we both had sitters with our kids and had to say our goodbyes. At the end we hugged each other alot and kissed (pecked) several times. During the movie we cuddled the whole time. I like the second man and am more attracted to the second man and we are planning a second date. I thought this wouldn't be a problem since I am not in a committed relationship and not sleeping with anyone. The second man knows about the first man but the first man doesn't know about the second man. I figured how was I going to know what type of man I liked unless I dated a few men first. I don't what to hurt anyone. It has only been a few dates so do I even need to talk to either one of them about the other man? If it got to the point where a commitment started or I started sleeping with one of them then of course I would tell the other one but at this stage do I need to say anything? HELP, I AM FEELING GUILITY!!!!

[Beagle]

Suzie: I'm not sure you have anything to feel guilty about. Have you created the expectation in the first man that you are dating him exclusively? If not, there's no reason you can't date as many people as you wish. If he has formed the impression that you and he are exclusive, then you need to let him know. You don't need to tell him about guy 2 specifically. That's not really his business. You do need to make sure he's not under the impression that you and he are dating exclusively. That's only fair. As long as he knows that, you're not under any obligation to share any more details.

I think you're making a good decision to insist on dating more than one person. Make sure you're not just settling for the first man who comes along.

[susieQ]

Thank You Beagle that eases my mind. The first man does have other women he talks to but I have no idea if he goes out on other dates. I am probably feeling guility for no reason. Nothing has ever been brought up about being exclusive with either one so I guess I am in the clear. Thank You for the response.

[Beagle]

Welcome to the forums, by the way. I hope you'll stay around even after you get your question answered. There are a lot of really great people here.