Feeling lost

Dear Dan and Jen

I have been with woman whom i met through the Internet for the last 3months. We get along so well and our feeling started to grows and now we are totally in love, The problem is she live in Greece while i live in the UK. We talked on the phone and through web cam and Skype but we haven't actually met up in real yet, I'm planning to Visit her in a month time.
Everything was going so well until we had phone sex. she tell me it was beautiful, but the next day she says she wanted some space.

We spoke and she tell me that we are moving way too fast, and that shes is very scared of getting too involve with me because her parent might not accept me, shes Greek and I'm Oriental we are both 28 years old. I feel hurt and lost when she says 'can we just be friend? and forget all the feeling we had' but she still love me, please help

yours sincerely

Lee From UK

[Dan And Jennifer]

Hi Lee.

Sounds to me like she got cold feet. Long distance relationships can be difficult because we are for lack of a better word "pack animals" and need to feel like we are part of a pack, we need that closeness and support structure.

You also have the added complexity of family issues...

It's perfectly OK to feel hurt and rejected by her comments, but you have to recognize that you cannot control how she feels or behaves. Both of you have to agree if you want the relationship to continue as it has. If one person decides to back out, the other partner has to accept it.

If I were in your place, I would try to empathize with her feelings and her concerns. Don't minimize them and don't try to 'fix' them. Men always want to fix things and women just want to be heard and understood.

Don't fall into the "friend zone" unless you want to be just friends.

You can however be there for her and let her know that you want more from the relationship and that you are willing to give her some time to sort out her feelings.

Perhaps you could find a way to actually meet her in person?

Thank you for your advice, we have spoke, I told her i would give her room and understand how she feels everything is cool now and i will be flying to see her next week, you guys are the best