trouble in paradise

Hi Dan and Jennifer
I got this problem I am married for 4 years now (no kids yet) and we lived together before we get married for like 7 years everything used to be great our relationship is perfect we never cheated or lied to each other our sex life was great we had it every day most days more than once... each day was like our first time and in 99% of the times we both had orgasms.
the trouble is that she started to say no for sex (2 months ago) and after talking she said that her feelings for me are lost I cannot believe it we never had any serious troubles or fights before after a while she decided to leave me because she do not want to see me suffering i am madly in love with her. And she does not have an affair. We talk on the phone she says that she needs some time alone.... she worries about me he misses me she wonders whether I sleep well and eat how I am feeling...
And she is not happy and is asking for a week away I see her everyday but not where she lives now I go to her at work she comes to me we kiss when saying good bye we never want to hang up the phones when we are talking....
I do not know what to do I love her very very much and I think she loves me too. I do not know what to do she is asking for a week more alone and then everything will be fine she says
She is refusing to get help (therapy)
help me please .....

[Dan And Jennifer]

Without having all the details I cannot say for certain that this is what's going on...

But, I can related (as a woman) to what you are saying.

As a woman, we tend to give everything that we have to a relationship - more than we should and are truly able to give. And then one day we wake and realize that we have nothing left to give. :-(

It's not your fault and it's not her fault. Women just don't naturally no when to say 'no' - especially to someone that they love. They end up giving all of the energy and power to their partner - and in turn blame their partner because they're so exhausted.

Dan and I went through this recently in our relationship (a few years ago). I was ready to leave because I felt that I had given and given and given to the relationship and gotten nothing in return.

What I learned, was that I had to learn to set boundaries and to recognize when I needed a break. This may or may not be what you are experiencing with your wife.

My suggestion is to get this book today (2 copies - one for each of you) and read it.

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex

This is what our good friend and mentor recommended to us and I think that this simple little book saved our relationship.

Oh, and give her the space that she's asking for...

[George]

thank you for taking the time to read my post and to answring me i love her too much and i am sure she loves me too that is why i am going to give her all the space that she wants and i let her know that i will be always waiting for her to come back
thank you a lot

[Dan And Jennifer]

Good.

Now get the book. Seriously. Today.

[George]

i got the book it is great
thank you