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Old 11-27-2008, 06:32 PM
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Default i need advice

dear dan and jen, ok first of all im disabled, and im in a wheelchair. lastly i have found it hard to get girls to go out with me, i get rejected all the time and i always think that its because im in wheelchair i get rejected, i need some tips on how to get girls to go out with me because im scared of being rejected
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Old 11-28-2008, 08:46 PM
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Inner Game Magazine He teaches guys how to get women and has been disabled all of his life.

You are worried about being rejected but you are suffering now. What's the worse that could happen? If you get no women now it won't make any difference if you approach them and still end up with no women. At the very least you tried.

The way around any fear is straight through it. No amount of tips will get you over your fear of rejection. You will have to jump off the deep end. You can't read or think your way out of a fear.

You can't control the wheel chair so focus on the things you can control. You can get over your fears, insecurities, doubts if you choose.

Insecurities go hand in hand with the number of fears you have. Work on your fears and you lessen your insecurities.

Make a list of things that you are scared of and do them. Pick one a week to conquer. After a while notice the changes that have come from this.

Part of insecurity is feeling like you aren't enough for women or for yourself. Not feeling like you are enough means that you lack something and you search outside of yourself to fill that hole.

The key is to feel complete inside of yourself first. To draw your self esteem from within. Repeat the following affirmation over and over "I am enough just the way I am". As well, this affirmation will help you out "I accept change and freely let go of what is no longer needed".

Another component of getting high self esteem to drop attachment to things that aren't you. You aren't your thoughts. You aren't what you did in life. You aren't your body,

The more you identify yourself with these things the more depressed you will become. You can't change the way you look so the more you identify your body as you the worse you will feel.

It's actually illogical to identify yourself with your body. Your body is some skin, muscles and some veins. Identifying you as your body is the same as identifying yourself as muscles, bones or some veins. You wouldn't see your elbow and say that's me or think about your heart and go 'that's me'. You wouldn't but most people say 'that's me' when all of things are put together.

You are not your thoughts either. Take a moment and actually listen to them. Notice how they DON'T ever stop. It's a continuous stream of random chattering going on and on about nothing.

People believe they are their thoughts but they aren't. whenever they get an angry or disturbing they feel guilty because they believe that THEY had that thought. They didn't and it wasn't there's.

The mind acts as a none stop insecurity and fear producing machine. It will not stop constantly telling you that you are worthless and that no one will love you. It's important to ignore your thoughts and never listen to them.

Keep posting updates and we can go from there. This should help you get started in the right direction
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