is being the "nice guy" only asking for heart breaks

[dravthorn6669]

i am a 27 year old nice guy. i love the female body. i love exploring it from top to bottom and finding what makes it tic and squirm. i love long nights of cuddling and talking. i love to give massages and i love performing oral sex. i've been told im a very good lover by all of my ex's. but time and time again i have seen my relationships fail and im confused as to why. most of the time i have been left for someone else with no real reason given. i try and stay friends with all my ex's and i dont really hold grudges so its fun to hear about those relationships problems and solutions. i'm hoping i can learn from all the mistakes i have made and seen. do you think i have a chance???

[Beagle]

Here is a piece written by Alex Strandberg. Someone forwarded it to me, and I'm going to return the favor. I guarantee it's going to make you mad, then this time tomorrow you'll be saying, "Hmmmmm?"


Recovering From Being a “Nice” Guy | Inner Game Reframe

[dravthorn6669]

i have read this piece before and yes i am a "nice" guy but im not pathetic and i dont care what the group thinks of me... accualy i tend to destroy the whole "think as one be as one group" bs that has been takeing over america's youth. i make people think and speak for them selves in a calm and rational way in group discussions and i stand up for my thoughts. i have been accused of changeing the way people think in just a few minutes because i make them think for them selves. would it be nice to live life as the center of attention? yes. will i? no. because you become fake and stale in doing so. i am me. i have strong roots and no little wind is gonna shake me. i thank you got your constructive criticism and am re reading that artical just for fun. but his "nice"guy isnt the same as my "nice guy" my nice guy is kind, considerate, helpful but not for rewards but for the sake of enjoying life. i could care less if my good deeds win me a reward... hell i dont care if someone builds me a statue .... on second thought yes id care... id be creeped out...lol i know im not the standard thought of "nice guy" but i am the actual nice guy

[DissolvedGirl]

I've been with a few nice guys and I've really enjoyed the first few months with them before kinda getting bored! The only exception to this is my current boyfriend.

Unless you keep the passion there - the feistyness/a bit of roughness - it can go that way, and I'm sure I'm not the only girl that thinks this way! I'm not saying you have to majorly change who you are, just incorporate a few less "nice" gestures that your girl would appreciate like pushing her on the bed when you're both in the mood for it, or slapping her butt when you walk past her once in a while, you know?

While girls like relationships with nice guys, they also like the thrill of a bad guy at least now and then!

Hope this helped

[Exavion]

Girls like nice guys, they just get bored. Honestly, no offense to most women, but they kind of suck at entertaining themselves.

We boys can get some food, a good video game/movie, and we're set. Women need more. Don't worry. If you have no trouble getting a girl, then you're fine... maintaining a girl is far easier. Just do more social/public stuff with her, that's all that should be necessary; though it does depend on the girl.

Your best bet is to find a girl that shares a lot of interests in hobbies and activities, so the both of you can have fun together and it's truly mutual.

[FemaleOrgasm]

Leadership/status is the most attractive (super) trait to women. It has many components. Here's some to start you off:

Body language: Stand tall (but have relaxed shoulders) , take up space and don't break eye contact until the other person does. Don't fidget or let your eyes dart around.

Voice: Speak with a loud resonating voice and just a little bit slower than normal. Use more pauses. Hum all the time to develop resonance. Avoid the high-pitched, fast , whiney, approval-seeking "nice-guy" voice.

Words: Your sentence structure is short and simple. You use simple words because you're more interested in getting your message in the other person's head quickly rather than trying to sound intelligent. The ironic thing is that explaining things simply makes you sound intelligent. But, don't be so “logical” and “technically correct” when talking to women because this bores them. Instead be “cocky and funny”. See below for details.

Personality:

Resilience: You don't experience many negative emotions. It takes a lot for you to feel stress. You have a rapid rebound time. You don't complain or criticize. Even if you feel stress, you APPEAR cool, calm and collected.

Extraversion: You are relaxed and feel a lot of positive emotions. You are optimistic. You walk towards other people and start conversations. You have high self-esteem (you like yourself). You make other people feel good about themselves.

Explorer: You continually learn new things. Your life is filled with many interests and hobbies (this makes you interesting and mysterious). You like to visualize your goals. You love art and music.

Focused: You move towards your goals (rather than moving away from problems), You focus on one thing at a time until you've finished. You don't multi-task (because this causes stress, is unproductive and lowers your IQ more than smoking pot), You focus your attention for 2 hours at a time then you take a break for 20 minutes where you are completely unplugged. You continually improve yourself and your products. You eliminate distractions like cell phones, email, TV etc when you focus on your projects. When you focus, you are completely relaxed and in the zone.

Challenger: You don't let other people dominate you. You punish all bad behavior (build an arsenal of constructive criticism, witty insults, legal skills and martial arts skills). You say NO calmly (ie NOT arrogantly) to people or things that don't meet your high standards. You can become a vicious mad dog if someone crosses the line. Stop apologising for being you. Unless you break the law or act like a jerk, you've got nothing to be sorry for. Give yourself permission because no one ever will. Say to yourself “I give myself permission to do that thing and I deserve to have it.” You are OK with the reality that no one really cares about you, well at least not the way you care about yourself. You are OK with the reality that most people are focused on their own problems and they don't want to hear you complain. Most people couldn't care less if you were successful or not so stop seeking their approval. You are cocky AND funny. You say and do things that are part cocky AND part funny. Don't do too much cocky because you'll come off as an arrogant jerk. Don't use too much funny because you'll come off as goofy. “C & F” could also be described as ball-busting or playfully teasing. This is a counter-intutitve way of communicating with women that makes them extremely attracted to you. You can tell you're doing it right when she's laughing, pretending to be mad with you and playfully hitting you. Always end the interaction with women a little to soon and on a positive note.This will make them what you even more and they'll be thinking about you all the time.