Confessing in a timely manner

[destine2hope]

I've dated a guy for almost 2 years and we recently broken up because of 4 conflict of issues which to this day I honestly don't know who's right and who's wrong.

We only see each other on the weekends because of the distance between us so that's a little difficult on us only txt'n and talking on the phone during the week.

We get along fantastic but as soon as we disagree, it's like we ran into a brick wall communicating to one another. I know disagreement is normal and bound to happen and it's all part of human nature that you're not going to get along with everyone all the time and that also includes your sweetie.

We only disagree once in every 2-3 months. I think for us only disagreeing once every 2-3 months is pretty good but he doesn't agree and says it's a lot and he questions our future together. I don't know who's living in a fantasy world, me or him.

When we first met he told me that you should tell your sweetie EVERYTHING about yourself, the good and the bad & if you leave anything out, then that's a lie of omission. Well I don't totally agree. My theory is that if it doesn't have anything to do with the present or future to me, him or us and it doesn't threaten anyone or our relationship in any way, let it be. Let sleeping dogs lie.

Though I disagreed, I came through because I cared for him and respected his beliefs hoping that in exchange he would then give me the same courtesy that I've given him.

I then told him that years ago I was falsely accused of something and found guilty which I ended up being on probation. Since then I've been very bitter about anything pertaining by the judicial system. Though it has been expunged from my record I'm still angry for unfair treatment by the law.

9 months later he blurted out in front of a 3rd party member that he did a background check on me and it was the same night that I confessed it. He did 3 of them because the first 2 showed up nothing so he thought they were lying. I asked why when I already confessed it and he said he wanted to see the facts for himself from an outside party. He said he was never going to tell me but it just happened to came out accidentally in a discussion.

Am I wrong to be upset that he kept this from me though it pertained to me and us?

We were now dating for 1.5 yrs when he blurted out for the first time ever that his ex has STD in the form of herpes. I asked if he was tested and he said yes so I asked for proof of it. He got angry saying I was only doing this to be malicious and I was retaliating because of him recently finding out that he dug into my past.

I told him I felt this was very important to my life, health, and it could affect those around me though After questioning him a bit I found out he lied and never was tested. He lied to me. Finally several days of debate he finally relented and got tested and is clean and I was given proof of it.

Am I wrong to question him about trust issues? Be upset that he didn't tell me for 9 month? Did I have a right to demand proof?

Last incident which happened 2 weeks ago I told him a secret pertaining to my daughter. I told him to tell no one until she says otherwise. He blurted out my daughter's secret after I left a get together and said nothing about what he did for 3 hrs. He didn't even wanted to me to tell my daughter what he did. I told him basically if I didn't tell her I would be lying to her and I won't do that. I told her.

We didn't talk for several days because I needed time to think about the reoccurring incidents of him withholding info from me because I saw a pattern of issues of trust here when it came to him telling me things of importance in a timely manner.

He became upset that I didn't speak to him for a few days. I told him I needed time to think and wanted to be calmed first and next thing I know we are breaking up.

I can't get it through to him that he's keeping something that pertains to our relationship is like lying to me. I love him truly but just want him to respect my wishes as I respect his. How can I get through to him??

He said we needed to make a clean break because he doesn't want to deal with our disagreements anymore. He's said every 2-3 months disagreeing is not good and he's not going to commit to me like marriage cause he honestly feel it would end up in a divorce.

Is disagreeing every 2-3 months a bad thing when all the other time we get along is awesome?

I'm totally lost and confused!! HELP!!

[stephen]

Read your queswtion i would say get yourself another boyfriend who will listen to what you have to say and not take it futher than it really need to go. I agree that your time period between argument is 2 to 3 months. To me that seem like alot. I will tell you in my 31 years of marriage my wife and i have only had less than 5 arguments. So if that helps you any, gopod luck with it.

Myself i would tell him to find another person to be with. but then that my opinion.

Good luck

[FemaleOrgasm]

are usually the biggest liars. They project their dishonesty onto other people. To me, doing a background check and exposing you to herpes is a deal breaker.