Complicated Long Term Relationship. Please help!

[Gordon219]

Me and my SO (Significant Other) are currently living in 2 separated Canadian cities. I am a 4th year university student studying in a 5 year program. My SO is a newly graduate and have an accounting job working in a big accounting firm (One of the Big 4). We have been together for nearly 2 years now. We started out knowing each other through a dating website and I have since visited him a few times. I have work internships every year. Last year I stayed with him and his family for 5 months and another 4 months this summer. We are compatible with each other. I just flew back to my city (an hour and 15 minutes flight away) for the start of the school year. Unlike the last few stays, I am extremely upset with my long distance situation this time around upon coming home. I miss him terribly however he doesn't seem to feel upset which confuses me.

We plan to move in together. He said that he will likely move to my city next year in September. He said the same thing last year before I left that he would like to move to my city Sept of this year, but here we are, still in a long distance relationship. Hes getting his CA (Chartered Accountant) License this coming May. He said he'll apply for a transfer to the local office here from his company but willing to apply for new jobs if the transfer is denied this coming year. But given the economy this year and his 'bluffing' last year, I just do not have much confident he will be able to move.

I have another year and a half before I graduate (May 2011) so I will not be able to move anywhere. My best hope right now is for me to find an internship from Jan 2010 to Aug 2010 in his city but highly doubt I will be able to find one. I am feeling very emotional and powerless right now. This situation is putting me under alot of stress as I feel I do not have control over it whatsoever. Though I do not blame my SO for this situation, I do feel resentful of him for not being here. I've talked to my SO about this already. He doesn't seem to get why I am so upset since its only going to be "temporary." To me, its just that its been almost 2 years already and I can't seem to have the luxury that a normal relationship takes for granted so often. We try to talk everyday and text but to me, that is still not equivalent to the physical contact that I desperately need right now. He doesn't understand what more he can do to make me feel better. Honestly, I don't know either. He is frustrated as I know that there is really nothing he can do right now. The only options I can think of is "suck it up" or "Breaking up". What can I do to make this experience more bearable? What can we do to be able to stay together? Please advice, share similar stories or any words of wisdom.

Thank you all so much!

[Beagle]

I think there is a key question that hasn't been answered here, and the answer to it will determine my advice. I suspect you've been thinking this in teh back of your mind.

Do you think his not moving to your city yet is due to the employment situation or do you think he is avoiding/delaying moving closer to you?

If you think he really wants to be with you, but the situation doesn't allow it, then I think a breakup would be a permanent solution to a temporary problem. At your age, it feels like the world is moving too slow, but you will eventually graduate and able to locate wherever you wish. If you think he's made his mind up he doesn't want to be with you, then there's nothing to hang on to anyway.

[Nova]

Originally Posted by Gordon219

The only options I can think of is "suck it up" or "Breaking up".

That pretty much is the choice you have to make in your situation. Another option is for you to drop out of school and move to whatever city he's living in but I would strongly recommend that you not do that. I've seen too many people around me drop out of school and now live tough lives and I certainly don't want to see another person going through that.

Beagle is correct about the question he posted. However, I'm going to ask you another question and perhaps this will help you make your decision.

Is he worth waiting for?