???confused???

[tatted12]

hi, I was just hoping to get an outsiders point of view....sorry if it is extreamly drawn out lol

I had a friend for years now, a good friend, and she had just gotten out of a very short term relationship and suddenly became very flirty, I just wrote it off as maybe a rebound type fling but she never let up and we actually ended up dating for a few months, I did really like her, alot, but while we were together she always seemed uninterested and distant...and in the third month or so, I lost my licence and we lived really far from each, other than at friends house we never hung out and hadnt had sex or even spent alone time together in like two weeks...so I figure I would catch a hint and we sat down and ended up breaking up. She took it hard to my surprize but with that said she still made sure to call or text everyday and make sure to sit by me when we were out at social things, and touch me and flirt all the time......the way she acts to me seems like we were still dating.... then I got my licence back and I made every effort I could and we were hanging out lots and fooling around but she kept playing these games....example saturday, she calls at 1100 am...lunch at cafe with kiss goodbye then a call at 1030 pm to come over but then kicks me out at 1 lol, many times I have told her I want to get back with her and that I like her but she always relpys with something along the lines of " I might like you to, dont worry Ill see you tomorrow night hun...???? so I sit her down and she says that she doesnt want a relationship of any kind, just friends.., I am leaving province and if she said she would get back together I would 100% stay, all i wanted was a clear answer and she said she that it was a hard time in her life and she thinks its best if we go our seperate ways. Thank god! a clearity speaks volumes so I pack and find a place and a job and two weeks before I leave she says she doesnt want me to go????? now what???lol ever since we split the first time it seems like she is just messing with me and it feels like I have been jumping hoops for nothing, and I would stay if I knew she, 100 % wanted to get bak together but I just dont think she is and is it worth scrapping my plans...even dreams??? on a chance ???
anyways i feel awkward talking to my friends about stuff like this and I really havnt talked to anyone about it so ya...im just looking more for some in-put than an answer..... thanks

[~Amanda~]

Wow. That really does sound like a confusing situation.

If I were in your situation, I would go ahead with the move. I understand that you still have feelings for this girl, but it seems like you have given her ample opportunities to reciprocate these feelings and explain her views on your relationship. You've exerted a lot of time and effort into building a relationship with her already. Don't sacrifice anymore of your dreams and risk getting burned.

If she really has changed her mind, she will pursue you even after you move. Who knows? Ultimately, she might respect and like you more for going off and doing your own thing for awhile.

If she is willing to make a commitment, then maybe you shouldn't leave. But from what you've written that doesn't seem to be the case. :[

[Exavion]

Well, believe me when I say that I know how it feels to want someone so badly. Everything about her to you seems perfect, doesn't it? Well, I'll say this. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and some even as good or better than her. Oh, and no, they are not out of your league. No girl is out of some guy's league; apart from the guys who think they are.

If all she wants to do is play games, sit her down and tell her that it's over. Either she stops fooling around and makes a choice, or you move on.

[Rachael559]

Tatted,
I KNOW exactly where you are. My first girlfriend ( yes I said girlfriend ) was exactly the same way, reading your letter was for me like going back and reading one of my journals from that time in my life. Does she want you? Does she want to be single or does she want to be a couple? It's funny, we even tried the staying friends thing afterward. And yes, I went to visit her at her sister's apartment and she brought a guy with her, a date. So during the date she is all over ME, totally ignoring this very nice guy. When I asked her to stop because it was starting to get to me, she laughed and started flirting with him. She had to leave for awhile and she was the SAME WAY with this guy as she'd been with me, her ex-girlfriend. She would flirt and lead him on right to the point where they were going to have sex, and then brush him off. "Suddenly" she has a headache or whatever the excuse was, "oh it's late, let's do this tomorrow night, when we can make it special" etc. My advice, accept the friendship, but from a distance. Do go and find someone who will give you clear communication that she is the person you are looking for and vice versa and that she doesn't like game playing any more than you do. It will make your life soooo much easier in the long run. I have someone whom I love, someone I can communicate with on everything. And we have been together for almost 20 years. I can honestly say for ME I could never have gotten the kind of relationship with my ex that I have now. Do I still think of her and the incredible sexual tension she could create, absolutely! Would I trade that for what I have now, not in a million years. Good Luck, and "GO COMMUNICATION!"
Rachael

[Idaho Allen]

I also know exactly how you feel, I have been in the same situation before. To tell you the truth, you have given her everything she has wanted. You have given her the cake and she has been able to eat it to. She does not want to give you the committment of a relationship and still act like you guy are in one. So if she does end up doing something else with someone else, she is not in the wrong because you guys are not together. Nobody should put them in the situation like that. If she will not give you the "Exclusive" or "Committment" Then You need to move, dont play those games with her anymore. All that is going to happen is that you will stay confused, be frustrated, and end up getting hurt.

[4m2r2n]

next time u c her ask her(being as straight forward as u can) if she likes u or not.
if u dont want 2 do this do what the others said move on