We both finally got out of our marriages, and now pulling apart! Why?

[Mickey in PA]

Dear Dan and Jennifer-
2 years ago, my current boyfriend and I started an extra marital affair. We were both married, however, my marriage was already on the outs due to other things. He however, had been married for 15 years, has 2 children, and really I think always planned on leaving, but never did. We worked together, both higher executives in our company, and we got very close as colleagues and friends. One day, he told me about the feelings he had for me, and the rest history. However, sadly that day feels like a million years ago, since we have both been through so much emotionally since then! I actually became pregnant in the first few months of us being together, and after realizing the feelings we have had for each, and knowing that it was wrong to still be with our spouses, he moved out about 4 months after our affair started, and my husband and I separated as well. At the time, neither of our spouses knew that we were together. I also ended up having an abortion, which i am not proud of.

The short (very short) version of this is simply, we have been together, and truly spend all of our time together. He basically moved in with me. however, the past 6 months have been very hard. I have caught him in lies millions of times, caught him texting other women, but nothing ever came of them, considering he is still with me, everyday. We took a break for a few days, then were fine again... and that happens quiet often recently. He says things like "I need my space", I love you, and know that i want to be with you, but this is complicated."..etc..
He has lied to his friends, because their wives have a big problem with me being around. They say that they can never accept me, even if it makes him happy. So, since they feel I am not around, they are trying to set him up on dates.. and he goes. Never calls them back after that however, but still goes to please them. And I know for a fact that he does not, because I check his phone, texts, and emails.. which is bad, but I don't trust him. love him, but since were are not "offically out in the open" i don't trust him..

She filed for divorce from him, it was final in Sept.. she still blames me, and throws that in his face all the time. My divorce will be final soon, and I am ready to move on with him. He bought his own house a few weeks ago, and his kids are there every other weekend.

I know he does love me, there is no doubt. I am not being niave or "using rose colored glasses" to spin this situation. It is what it is. But, I have finally spoken up to his friends wives, (2 of them) and they told me that this will never happen. They said, we know he loves you, but his kids, nor us, will never accept you. So why don't I move on, they say. He his stuck in the middle, and doesnt want to make anyone mad. However, I feel he should be sticking up for me, and stop the games.

My question after all this expaliation is simply, what do I do? Do I wait and put up with more, leave him space, or just move on? Can this really work with us, or has this realtionship runs it course?

Thanks for your advice!!

Mickey

[slittylicker]

The way I look at this is...you're trying to have a relationship with a guy who cheated on his wife to be with you. What makes you think he wont do the same thing to you? As well, you were willing to be an accomplice in his efforts to cheat on his wife.
To be trusted, you have to be trustworthy.