Sex Advice!!!!!

[MandJ]

I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years I am 22 and he is 25. He is always want to do different things in the bedroom which is fine we have toys and porn and magazine and we talk dirty and have our fantasys and all that good stuff but it is never enough for him. Now he wants me to mess with other people like me mess with a girl and him watch and even telling me he would not care if I messed with another guy. I know alot of couples have threesomes and I am not saying its wroing other people can do whatever they want but I do not want to do those things not mess with other people! I am not going that far. I have told him this and he then refuses to have sex with me and hurts my feelings by saying i never do anything different an worst of all he knows i want to marry him and he will says " i will marry you if you do this for." What is that all about!!! I think maybe he is tired of the same person..me? I mean he has been with me since he was 18 maybe he wants to try different things and is just to afraid to say that i do not know but when i ask him that he says no he loves me and my body and all that good stuff but why wheni tell him no he treats me bad!!!???

please help

[Xero]

It sounds to me if he is not telling you something.

Let me explain. Usually when I get mad I wont tell my girlfriend why I'm mad. (which I have been telling her now and it makes things so much better THX Beagle!!!). I think thats what he may be doing to you but I could be wrong. (dont really want to say hes not just this is how i see it no offense).

This it what I think is going on. Try to calm him down 1 on 1 with no distractions and TALK about WHY you don't and what compromise you can come up with.

[Nova]

Originally Posted by MandJ

" i will marry you if you do this for."

I knew there was going to be trouble as soon as I saw those words. It sounds like a blackmail. At first I was going to link Dan and Jenn's most recent video on Youtube (about threesomes, which the idea came from the Britney Spears song "3" [just to set the record straight, I am not a fan of hers. I just know this because of the video.]) but this isn't about that. This is about your bf blackmailing, even sounds like almost threatening, you if you don't do something for him. In this case, it's having sex with other people. Don't ever feel forced to do something you do not feel comfortable with. That is not what a relationship is about nor should be about. Until you can resolve this issue with him, I suggest putting marriage thoughts on hold.

[scarbowl]

If you carry through on his desires in order to get him to marry you, there will be no end to his requests. This will be the start of a new dimension in your sex lives and there's no reason to think he'll want it to stop. "You did it before and I want you to do it again." etc.

This is what he wants and if you don't give it to him he might well leave you or demand to be allowed to play around.

If this is okay for you in the relationship then fine. But if it isn't, you should break it off. Even if it hurts.

[slittylicker]

If you set boundaries and your partner doesn't respect them, then that's a deal-breaker. Maybe he needs to find someone who is comfortable with swinging if it's that important to him.


I would never want to swing if I was in a committed relationship with someone who I am in love with.
i especially would not want to do anything to hurt her.
If the thought of infidelity, even in the context of "swinging," was too painful for her to accept, then I wouldn't want her to do it.
If it was someone who I didn't love or someone I was using, then I would probably be open to swinging.
This is just my viewpoint. Everyone is allowed their opinion.