I really like this girl, how do I keep from getting into the friend zone?

[Azureth]

Recently I was introduced to this one girl, she is 18, I am 22. We haven't talked that much but what we have talked about we got along pretty well, she just recently had something bad happen to her (she said not to tell anyone so I wont), and I told her that everything would be alight and she can talk to me if she ever wants to.

In the past I have had a big problem of trying to be nice but being put in "The friend zone", and with this new girl I definitely want to avoid that, but how can I make it so that she knows that I care about her and want to help her get through this but at the same time show that I don't want to just be the guy she calls when she has problems?

[Exavion]

Well my friend, you and about a billion other guys are in the same spot. I'll say this, women at such a young age (believe me I know, I'm 18 too) are just too immature to even realize what they are passing up. Look, she considers you a friend, because you're so nice to her. You're like, putty in her hands. She has a problem, you're there with a warm cozy shoulder prepared to let her cry on it.

I'm sorry, but it just won't work, not to get the girl. Be kind and supportive after. Girls want to be chased... you're just, too easy right now. They want a challenge, at that age. That's why you always see these players, who are quite rude, getting the girls.

Now if you're in the friend zone, the odds are you won't be able to get out fast. What you should do, is be more alouf. Note, don't be mean, just don't be "all there". Don't always agree, don't always be as sweet as honey. It won't attract her in the way you so desire.

In fact, as crazy as it might seem, your best bet would be to try and find a different girlfriend. If you don't invest too much emotion into any given girl, and are confident, then she'll become more attracted to you. If you're dating someone else, it shows that you have your own life; something most women seem to like.

I suppose these instincts come from primitive ages past, but they still are apparent in women. Not to be demeaning, and of course there are exceptions, but it seems to be true so far as I've seen.

So to sum it up, be more casual, try not to care so much, be confident, and when I said confident I mean; comfortable and at ease with being yourself even in public situations. Girls tend to be able to tell when you're faking it.

Good luck!

[Dan And Jennifer]

As crazy as it seems, I agree with Exavion.

Once you've given her (esp a young girl) a shoulder to cry on, you're in the 'girlfriend' zone rather than the 'boyfriend' zone. I like to think that as women mature, they start to recognized that men can be caring and supportive, but as young women, they tend to thinking of the caring guys more as friends.

Of course, having said that, not all all girls are like this and I feel that you should be honest with your feelings and don't play games with her or anyone else. If you want to date her, ask her to dinner or a movie - on a real date. Let her know how you feel with your body language - lingering glances, hugs, touches that last a second too long.

It sounds like she's going through a rough time and maybe it's OK to just be her friend. She may not be ready for a relationship with anyone, including you.

Recognize that if she doesn't want to date you, that choice is about her - not about you.

I feel that the biggest mistake you can make when dating is to let other people's choices and decisions affect your feelings of self-worth.

You wouldn't get offended if your potential date doesn't like chocolate! Why do we get our feelings hurt when our potential date isn't that into us? We're not meant to date every person that we meet - it needs to click for both people!

[jjdubbie]

a nice guy = a friend
playing hard to get on the other hand might just help

i have a friend, he plays hard to get and sometimes he's a jerk-off
but his girlfriend loves him to death because he's not the "i'm here for you type"

before he started going out with this girl, he would always tease her and make jokes about her. tenderness is by far the best quality a man has

This of course is just MY opinion
hope this helps
-jjdubbie