being jealous over my fiance's world of warcraft gaming

[GeekyJenn]

I actually understand some of what you mean of emotional scarring.

I played Everquest with my guy for a few years. Our second break up, I still claim was due to his Friend's prodding, was very hard on me. I was still in the guild and this "friend" and him would go back and forth with sexual comments all the time in guild chat. It drove me NUTS. He plays WoW with her now. And i'm actually hurt and annoyed with him. I made a Horde character and enjoyed playing her. I tried to get him to come play with me, but he kept saying "I'm not an alt guy". But low and behold one day, he makes a toon... and guess who shows up with him? his "Friend". So, i'm having issues over that right now. PLUS they are trying to beat my Hunter to 70. They just hit 50 last night and I'm 67. They way they are plowing through quests, they probably will. If i ask him about playing with me, he'll just say it's easier at 70. which I think is BS, because he hasn't played with my Priest (on Alliance side) in a long time. I left the guild I was in with him because they were assholes to me, but of course he gets royal treatment because he's uber mage and I am just a shadow priest. My current guild LOVES shadow priests, so at least they like me So, i'm having old pains and emotional scars showing back up recently. I'm pondering if just not playing at all would make my life any better. hah! But i'd still be ignored by him, and he'd play with her all time. He still claims nothing is going on between them, nor has it ever. But he also denies what he told me that yes, back in 2005, she was trying to steal him....

And I totally understand your guy's frustration with the guild. I signed up for raids with the last guild (one my guy is in), and they would never take me. I'd offer help with groups or quests, or ask for help, and no one would ever answer me! I don't react well to silence. A simple no would have been just fine. They would never give me feed back on how i was, what i need to work on, etc. So, they really made me mad. I tried to talk to the Guild Leader but he started claiming he was giving me feedback and advice adn what to work on.... Yeah right! So I got mad and left.

I like playing games, i really do! And I do enjoy playing games with him (unless it's Big Brain Academy and he has to beat me by like 50 points just to make himself feel good). It's just not fun to keep getting beat by so much. I can at least give him a good run for his money when we play scrabble, if I can get him to play. I am enjoying my WiiFit more It's more of a workout than a game!

But if he's backing off some, Fawkse, then that's cool! I have asked my guy for a date night. So, hopefully he'll follow through. I know he's working late on friday. but we may do something afterwards. Oddly, i'd be perfectly happy with dinner at the dining table and a movie at home! We haven't eaten at the table in a long time. I think we should eat at the table more.

Maybe you guys should find a nice game to play together. If you like those kinds of games (not necessarily WoW), my friend got me to start Age of Conan. isn't too bad. I'm too used to WoW and EQ controls. Or play something else together, like Scrabble! I think Scene It is fun If you like moves and games and stuff. An Ex and I had the Harry Potter Scene It. That was good fun, and I knew more than him! muhahaha. only because i'm a total book worm!

I'll shush up now! I need to get my mind back on work

[Mel]

i just wanted to post here because i know how you feel. my boyfriend use to spend all his time with me and then he got into WoW, all he talked about was raids,bosses,Fel Lotuses (ugh kept getting phone calls in the middle of the night "baby i got a Fel Lotus!") flasks (also got phone calls "baby i learnt how to make Flask of Pure Death!") so i started playing it too. he wouldnt even listen to me when i talked to him because he would only concentrate on WoW and if he calls me after work he would say "hey baby, i love you, ill call u back after my Black Temple run" he would blow me a kiss and hang up so i hated this game too and was jealous cuz he use to play with women who were same age as him and the likes. so i made a mage also (since he had a mage) and i beat him in EVERYTHING i learnt how to kill other players from him and started to beat him all the time. in raids i beat him also in damage done and the likes. i think he got mad since i was always on top and i basically just started playing and he couldnt catch up with me so he put the game aside for me.

I think maybe if u started to play an online game also (doesnt have to b WoW) and talked to other people while he played his game and such and if he started talking about WoW u would start to talk about ur game he would see more how u would feel and if he got mad at you for playing you would just say "you dont think thats how i feel baby".

Though that doesnt always work though. Other option is just let him play. let him enjoy WoW because i know a lot of people work and such and like to enjoy escape from the real world. you said he started to cut down on wow means ur his priority and he doesnt want for you guys to end. dont be too demanding and whiny and such because the guy will most likely tell his online buddies whats happening and they would just make him think that you are...i dont know...mean?

and like others said dont use ur body to make him not play and such because most likely he will just go back to gaming after u have sex with him. while he plays do what you want to do. go shoping. i know most raids happen in the evening so tell him to pick the days he wants to raid since most guilds want like 50% attendance for raids tell him to pick 3 or so days in the week that he will raid on so on other days you guys can spend time together. go see a movie, go out for dinner. show him how it was before WoW came into his life. Just dont tell him "get off the game because im jealous its taking ur time away from me" i mean u go out with friends right? you go out shopping? while its something like that for him too. its a way he relaxes ....i think

[Wolfhowl]

As a WoW player myself, I know how addictive the game can be, but the trick is to make sure that Real life does take top priority over online gaming. The best way for you to talk to your husband about it would be to keep using "I" statements, not "You". Tell him how it makes you feel, how you are feeling ignored without making it sound like you are blaming him. You start with the "You" Statements, and that will put him on the defencive, and make it about 10000 times harder to get threw to him.

If you know his password, you could always strip his character naked, and camp him in a very hard place to get away from, say in the middle of the home city for a rival faction. Just don't sell off all his Phat Loot, that would be hitting below the belt.

Wolfie

[fawkse]

thankyou for all the post everyone.
i wanted to let you all know that last night i finally let it go. he wanted to play, so instead of reacting as i normally would, i surrendered.
it was hard for me to go to bed and ignore the fact that he was raiding with other people, but i forced myself to trust him.
the only bad thing that happened was that he played too long and was super late in getting to bed. he was also late for work this morning, becuase he couldn't wake up!!!
hahaha,
now i know why there is one good reason for me to bitch at him for playing! at least the next time he'll listen to me when i tell him that he needs to stop playing and get some sleep! lol
it's going to take some time for me to just get over this issue, but thankyou for helping me see that it isn't as bad as i thought!