Is she trying to use me?

[Confused in Texas]

i have a little confusion. this girl that i was with a couple of months ago broke up with me to go out with one of my buddies(good friend huh?). he ended up cheating on her and i was the first one she called after she found out. she told me that she turned to me because i never did anything to hurt her. this really bothered me because if i didnt hurt her, why'd she leave? all she kept saying was that she was sorry and that she made a big mistake. now if you ask me, it kinda sounds like she wants to try again, doesn't it? what i want to know is, is she trying to use me to make him jealous, and if not, how do i know if she can be trusted?

[fyreblayd33]

This is a totally personal choice. The key word is be careful. Keep in mind she did not just meet some guy on the street to cheat on you she did it with your friend. Now this is a hard situation to put yourself into. But if you choose to be very careful.

[Dan And Jennifer]

It sounds to me like she took an chance and got hurt. And then she ran back to you for safety.

Don't be surprised if this same scenario plays out again...

Maybe she did make a mistake and wants to try again - or maybe you're the 'safe bet' until something better comes along.

I agree with fyreblayd33, if you do choose to try again - keep your eyes open.

Only time will tell...

[Confused in Texas]

thanks a lot fyreblayde33 and dan and jennifer. recently i've been talking to her and it seems like she does wanna try again. i'm just torn between it because she seems so genuine for lack of a better word. i wanna trust her and believe her but i'm so insecure because i don't know if she's just gonna dump me the next time she gets the hots for someone else. i don't know if either of you have been in this situation, but i'll tell you that it's one really tough decision to make. only time will tell if she really is there for me. i hope i'm not the "safety net" or the "rebound guy"

[LostInEternity]

I dated this girl in high school and me and her where very much into each other, always together or on the phone ( their was no internet than... I had me a nice commodore 64 though! ) lol sorry I still find that amusing! anyways I used to have a job back then that would take me on the road for 3 months out of the year and I was off the other 9 months! well when I left that summer she got so depressed from missing me so deeply that she started hanging out with my brother and my friends well I was anyway! So long story short when I finally came home from working 18 hour days for 3 months strait she was waiting for me on my porch with all my friends, as a little welcome back party! and as I started talking to everyone and catching up on what I missed well i was gone I kept noticing her eye's kept wondering over to my one buddy and watching everything he was doing and he kept looking at her with those lost eye's and that's when I knew something was up! when the party finally ended and she went home and he stayed to hang out but was being quieter than normal I pulled him aside and asked him what was up, and that's when he told me he had feelings for her and was sure that she felt the same, so i took a deep breath and dropped it for the night and told him we'd talk more later, when I got up the next morning I hopped in the car and torn across three counties to her house and confronted her about it, she swore up and down she only had feelings for me and couldn't possible love another as I was her first and only true love! I than asked her why she kept eyeballing him across the room and she broke down and admitted that they had become very close in my absence for them both! And right at that moment I knew exactly what I needed to do! So I broke up with her and tore her heart emotionally from her chest and ended it right there! And than I stopped at the pay-phone and called him up before I even got home to let him know that she was single and hurting and he right off the bat asked me if I was cool with him making the attempt to date her, and my response was go for it me and her evidently aren't meant to be and so he swooped right in to pick up the pieces and ended up getting married after dating for a year and now they are married with three kids and living out of state! but since I tore her apart and he loved her so me and him no-longer speak and haven't for almost 8 years! because I'm such the bad guy that i hooked them up the only way I knew how! Ironically she hit me up on myspace a few months ago looking for answers to why I ripped her apart that day in attempt to heal, and I told her why I did what I did and haven't heard from her since!
But the moral of the story is your guy friend really isn't your friend if he's hooking up with your love interests behind your back!
Guy Rule #1 is you never date your friends family or their ex's! It never goes well!
As for the girl involved in your situation in my experience girls don't usually date your friends unless they are after revenge or jealousy! But at the end of the day my opinion is just that an opinion! and I would do some serious thinking about your decision! Cause can you truly forgive her actions or will it eat at you until you explode! and will she do it again only time will tell, so you need to decide if you want the risk of being hurt by her again or if you would rather find someone new and start fresh, just remember every person is a different individual and it's important that when you let go of a relationship that you do start fresh and not blame the next for what the last one did to you, or it will only hurt your own chance for happiness!
Hope that helps you some,
LostInEternity

[Confused in Texas]

thanks a lot lostineternity. i really thought about this a lot. it's just really difficult to move on because she's a cool girl and we have a whole bunch in common i got some good advice from one of my cousins though, if she's not gonna be true to me and if she's gonna go running around whenever someone else comes around then she isn't worth my time. that's one of the things that really helped me stop moping around. i'm still gonna think about my decision before i act and i made sure to let her know that i wasnt just gonna act like if she never left me for my (not so good) friend

[LostInEternity]

I understand that it's never easy to give up on someone you love, but on the other hand love being given is always best when the person you give it to returns your love with their own. And your cousins probably right if she left you for no good reason even though you were good to her than she's probably not the right one for you! As for her being cool and having similar interest as you... sometime it works out and sometimes it doesn't! I personally always tried to date more out of my own scene, that way both parties bring something new to try out to the relationship for the other. I've learned quite a few interesting things that I would have never know of or tried if I stuck in my own scene, plus it tends to keep your friends and relationship less likely to crash into one another, which usually makes the first problem a bit less likely!
Just random thoughts,
LostInEternity

[Confused in Texas]

ok this sucks bad
it turns out that the girl i was talkin about really was trying to use me. it not only pisses me off but i'm kinda bummed cuz she was really starting to warm up to me so..
i kinda saw it coming though cuz for a couple of days that i had seen her, it seemed like she was avoiding me or ignoring me, but today was the day i saw her back with my (not so good) friend.
i'm mad because she sounded so sincere and true when she told me she was sorry and she told me she wouldn't fall for my (not so good) friends sweet talk ever again.
on the other hand i'm bummed because, again, she was really growing on me and i thought i saw the same girl that i had so much fun with.
right now i don't really know what to feel cuz i'm kindof in shock that she would do this after the way she sounded. once again, ladies and gentlemen, i'm in a state of extreme confusion. i've tried to move on but its like every girl i see reminds me of the one i loved and i thought loved me too. i've found that its really easy to fall in love.. the problem is finding someone to catch you

[brokenhearted20m]

let them go.....there not worth your time, hes not a friend to you and he never was if he would do something with your girl....and shes not your friend if she would do something with your guy friends behind your back....im thinking your still in highschool, just remember that every girl is completley different, some like assholes because they have such low self esteem that they dont see themselves having anyone better and you cant change that no matter how hard you try, some actually take the time to get to know someone and look at there past relationships to see how that one is going to work out, and some are just out looking for fun..... its very hard deciding which one they are and you cant be sure until you put yourself out there, and i know it sucks being the one to put yourself out there in hopoes for love to have it thrown back in your face time and time again......it took me 18 years to find someone to give me that chance and right now we are broken up but i think we might try again because of how much we mean to each other but i dont know.....im just hoping........maybe you should change the crowd you hang out with because its going to remind you of those two every time you see them and the best thing right now is for you to get as far away from it as possible

[sweetwayne]

i know ur feeling i was with a girl for 5 months then she broke it up with me and said she only wants to stay good freinds but we still do have sex but she tells me not to get my hopes up on getting back to gether she says she miss me at time and dose think of me at time and says i did treat her very well but says are age differnt is her problem or we be to gether i do have my promblems to so i hear where ur coming from i say keep on ut toes keep eys open and exspet unexspeted for now test her with stuff but i do agree with what dan and jenn say to if they do it once its a chance they do it again i wish u the best and i realy hope it works out this time for u we all need to be loved and trusted