Female fingering troubles...

[K in NY]

Im under 21, male, and me and my gf have been going out for awhile. We just fool around etc but it seems whenever im fingering her she'll get really into it and then out of no where it will start to hurt, burn or just have no feeling at all for her and it is lost, any reason this might be?

[Dan And Jennifer]

Originally Posted by K in NY

I'm under 21, male, and me and my gf have been going out for awhile. We just fool around etc but it seems whenever i'm fingering her she'll get really into it and then out of no where it will start to hurt, burn or just have no feeling at all for her and it is lost, any reason this might be?

Our rule of thumb is this... if it hurts, go to a doctor. You don't want to risk infections, etc. that could get worse. If you're uncomfortable talking to your current doctor about sexual issues, perhaps it's time for a new doctor.

That having been said, there are some basics to consider in sexual contact...

• Wash your hands first (with soap), even if you haven't been eating jalapenos. Fingering is an invasive process, and you don't want to be introducing foreign stuff in there (I can see the comments about sex toys and more coming here).
• Use a basic lubricant, like KY - not all women's bodies lubricate adequately all of the time.
• Be gentle.

[GeekyJenn]

I know most guys don't have this problem, but some guys I know don't keep their finger nails very clean or cut short. (and guys with long finger nails just looks weird... )

Anyways, you could actually damage the tissue in her vagina with long fingernails or rough fingernails. if you have long fingernails, i'd suggest at least smoothing them off so they won't snag or rip the skin so easily. That could be a ton of trouble.

If she continues to have pain in such a way, she may need to also see her gynecologist. I know I have Endometriosis and I know it's bad when i start having certain types of pain with sex. Usually I don't have pain with sex, but when I do, I know something is amiss. And I would DEFINITELY find a doctor you can talk to. No since in entrusting your health/life/wellbeing to a doctor you can't trust completely to talk about such things.

[Tara in kitchener]

It sounds to me like you are just being a little too rough and going too fast and she's probably drying out and it's causing it to hurt and burn and not feel so nice.

-Go slow and be gentle until she tells you she wants it faster, harder etc

- Use lots of lubrication, this makes a big difference

- Don't try to shove as many fingers as you can up there

- Make sure your hands are washed, nails short.

Hope that helps.

[kirsten in Ny]

have her go to the docter to mack shore. use lib lots of it. make shore ur hands r wached. go slow

[Lee]

Definitely take the advice posted above.

In addition, it might be the case that you're fingering (penetration) TOO much.

As the saying goes, she might be getting too much of a good thing!

Fingering a girl and rubbing her repeatedly in the same spot can eventually cause pain. At the very least, numbness.

When she feels the pain, she's no longer relaxed and her arousal levels drops down...her head was in the clouds, but then she' dropped to the ground.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Be sure you start with a well lubricated finger, and make sure she's lubricated as well.

Over time, the lubrication can "dry up" even though she's aroused. So make sure the area is well lubricated during fingering.

If it dries up, you can use your saliva, or over the counter lubrication (if you're going to do oral at the same time, it might be better to go with saliva..unless you like the taste of personal lubricants!)


2. Also, the key to pain-free, full-pleasure fingering is variation.

Don't just finger away and do nothing else! This can be painful, and boring.

Switch from penetrative fingering to stimulating the clitoris with your fingers.

You can also add in oral sex before/during/after fingering.

And you don't have to go in-and-out while finger. You can simply keep your finger stationary inside, while stimulating her clitoris with your tongue/thumb/finger on your other hand. you can also try to put downwards pressure (towards her back) or upwards pressure (towards her navel).

Monitor her response to the variations, and soon you'll discover what works best for her (maximizing pleasure while minimizing/eliminating pain).

Hope that helps,

Lee