I had sex with an aquaintance, should we still talk?

[Heather]

I have a question. I had sex with one of the front desk guys at my res hall. I see him pretty often now and it feels a little awkward. I wouldn't really call us friends, but sort of close acquaintances. I'm not sure if we should still talk or not like we used, considering we weren't that close. Like I said, it's awkward, for me at least. And there's supposed to be this special "bond" between two people after they have sex, but I don't feel it. I just found out he worked here again tonight. I've been told not to bring up that night, ever.

Just a few questions. I'd appreciate any advice.

[cukrik]

you taking it too seriously. if you slep together it is not a reason to avoid him completely and not to talk with him. maybe you will spend a night together again.

cheers!

[K. in Cleveland]

Well, as far as him not wanting to talk about it, there are a number of possible reasons. He could have a relationship with someone else and be sorry he cheated... you say he is a front desk guy, I assume this is a paid or internship position, perhaps he is prohibited from the school to have relationships with the residents.. or he could be a guy who just likes to wham bam thank-you ma'am... or anything between or any combination. It's going to be a fact of life that you will see him, you will run into him, but that does not mean you have to like him. My best advice would be to be cordial and polite with him, but not really try to gain a friendship.
As far as feeling a bond between you and your sexual partners.. well.. I think that is a protective mechanism some women develop in order to "claim" their guy. There is really no reason you have to have a bond with anyone you've had sex with. Sex and feelings do not have to go hand in hand. They can, and most certainly do for many people... but they are not exclusively together.
I think you have experienced a one nighter, and are none the worse for wear because of it. Enjoy what you experienced, and move to what you want. If you want a relationship, look elsewhere as this does not sound like what he wants.

[Heather]

He, unfortunately, has already said that he doesn't want to do it again because of the whole bond thing. And according to the trusty Facebook, he has a girlfriend now. I don't know about him, but all I'm experiencing is what a friend of mine calls the "awkward bond." I think he could tell the night I saw him. Unfortunately, if he wanted to say anything he couldn't have, since there was also another person working that night. One friend said to talk to Greg about that night, but that would just make things a lot more awkward, considering I have no idea what he's thinking. And oh I do remember part of my experience. We had a few drinks, so I get snippets of memories, but enough. I don't want a relationship with him, and the feeling's mutual. We knew that going into it. I'm okay with that. I don't want a relationship right now anyways, I don't think. I'm enjoying my freedom, obviously, although I do miss the whole cute and cuddliness of being in a relationship. Kinda lonely. I think I might move onto someone else, since there's no hope of sex with him again. To put things bluntly, I've been like chronically horny, probably even more than the usual 19 year old.