im a man who doesnt enjoy sex....

[Mistah Mcfizzle]

i try to have sex....but i never can get into it...im 19...every time i have sex i feel like im thinking too much and i try to make myself enjoy it...is something wrong with me?

[jeanintro*quitex]

Can I ask you some questions?
What is your family's background? Liberal? or Conservative? Religious? etc.
Have you had bad or unwanted sexual encounters in the past? Or did your parents avoided the "sex talk" with you?
Do you think you'd enjoy sex with someone from your same gender? Do you think you would enjoy it more while doing threesomes?
Do you foreplay before having sex?

*********
Many things might be going on. Sex drive is one of the most natural desires of the human and nature in general, besides eating and sleeping. If you have just a general feeling of discomfort, then something happened/is happening that is not allowing you to enjoy it and it should be reviewed by a doctor.
If you know the reason you don't enjoy sex: If it is family background, or Religious background, or even rape, etc. you know what to work on, again with the help of a doctor.
If you feel that you would enjoy having sex with someone of your same gender, you should do a little self reflection and find out why and when you have the answer, embrace it.
If you just have sex "quicky style", without foreplay, it will be way harder to be into the moment and really enjoy it.

I am sure I am not a ig help, and D&J will eventually come and enlighten all of us.

Good luck!
-Jean
Who thinks sex is more important than sleeping. Obviously, you have sex before sleeping

[Mistah Mcfizzle]

yes my parents were very over protective and my dad would yell at me for even looking at women in bikinis. i dont believe it scarred me mentally or anything, i lived a normal life i was into sports in HS , playing basketball, and dating girls and stuff but my parents always avoided that talk with me, but when my parents got divorced my mom became more open with me. But i feel i am suffereing from depression right now maybe thats why i dont enjoy it. and im not happy with my body anymore as unmanly as that sounds im just keepin it real. thanks for the feedback its much appreciated

[K. in Cleveland]

Well most certainly if you are suffering from depression you can and most likely will have a lack of interest in sex. Depression is much more far reaching than just "feeling blue" or "bummed out". Depression can cause anhedonia, which is a total inability to experience pleasure from normally pleasurable life events, like; eating, exercise, and social or sexual activities. It doesn't mean that the mechanical systems don't work like they should (i.e. you can still achieve and maintain an erection) it just means your mind doesn't really care about what to do with it.
Don't stress about not enjoying sex. You should probably lay off of the sex life for awhile. Work on feeling better. You should probably seek professional counseling. You may or may not want to go on an antidepressant (some of which can inhibit sexual desire or even ability to achieve an erection) but just counseling therapy may be able to give you the tools needed to work through this.

Take care of yourself, wholly and fully... then worry about enjoying sex.. you can do it

[jeanintro*quitex]

Exercise gives pleasure?!

Well, eh, K. hit the bullseye.

[JelloTranz]

In addition to some of the adive people have already given, you may also tell this to your doctor, you may be low on testosterone which can lead to loss of sexual intrest and other issues down the road.

[FemaleOrgasm]

Solve your problem with emotional freedom techniques:

Use the setup phrase: "Even though I don't enjoy sex, I deeply and completely accept myself". Keep doing EFT until you enjoy sex.

[Beagle]

I've got to echo JelloTranz's advice here that you need a medical consultation. What you're describing could be low testosterone or an underactive thyroid. If those are the problem, then nothing else you try will work. Those need to be ruled out. If those aren't the problem, then the depression is a likely culprit. If you're on an SSRI, a common type of antidepressant, then those are notorious for reducing sexual drive.

I think you need to start with your doctor. I'm a therapist, and I've encountered several men who presented with depression that turned out to be a result of low testosterone. Low testosterone can sneak up on us and that needs to be checked.