How do I accustom myself to oral sex?

[SamIAm]

My boyfriend and I aren't ready yet to practice vaginal sex, but of course since we've gotten quite physical there is a lot of sexual arousal that never gets a release. I've never been in a physical relationship before and I never incorporated oral sex into my personal fantasies, so I'm so unaccustomed to the idea I'm afraid to try it or to let him try it on me yet. I'm horrifically shy in some ways, and a lot slower than he is at growing comfortable with things. But I really want to give him that release, so I'm trying to learn as fast as I can. Any suggestions for how to get used to the idea of it would be useful.

Also, along with being a bit shy, I'm pretty weird about being feminine when I'm doing sexual things. I don't know if I'm explaining very well...I guess growing up I always saw my mother's thong panties and black lace and so on and I think it just embarrassed me and grossed me out, so I have a bad association in my head with that kind of seductive, naughty, Victoria's Secret sort of look. I have a hard time finding myself in all the sexual activities my boyfriend and I get into because I have to undo previous associations with the things I'm doing, and then find a way to still be myself while doing the things that please him. And he's been a doll about it, but he's turned on by things like stripping and my skirt being pulled up seductively, etc...and as you can probably see, that's hard for me.

Help! Any thoughts/ideas would be appreciated!!

Thank you so much!

[Solnitsa Yada]

while the playful, sexual, flirtatious things can be great, these things can be great AFTER you've already had sex, like to spice things up.. and you can learn them as the years go by..

I can only give you a blokes opinion, if you want to experiment with oral, thats a great few nights, I was with a virgin a few months ago, and she'd never even kissed a guy.. 'downstairs' as she put it.. she was 22.

the first time, I just let her look at it, hold it, get the feel for it in her hand, stroke it, if you've never held one, thats an experience in itself, and guys most likely LOVE the idea of letting you explore.. thats all you need to do. explore.. ask questions, do you like this? do you like that?

If he pushes for more.. stop him, tell him, your only willing to explore on your own terms, and if he doesn't like it.. you'll put "mr Penis' away, no more and he can go home with blue balls..

When your comfortable with it, get him to show you how he 'finishes'

later on, a few further dates, try finishing him yourself, get him to help

later still, try kissing it, but finish with your hands

later still, try finishing into your hand, and tasting it., he'll LOVE that, it will remind him every time afterwards, and he'll be putty in your hands (pun included)

eventually, you'll be more and more comfortable with the penis, and you'll be able to do anything YOU want (this is critical) and you can explore: Mints in your mouth, icecream, iceblocks, or even.. hot coffee (not on him, just in your mouth before kissing, to warm or cool your lips and toungue)

[SamIAm]

Wow. Thank you. I guess that's kind of how we're going about it, but thank you for the detailed advice, I think it will help. Plus he's really understanding and patient, and willing to help me. He totally guided my hand yesterday to show me how to rub it, like I was two and he was showing me how to pet the cat or something. It works really well that way because it helps me take the first step and get comfortable with it without having to overcome my shyness alone, and then after that I'll be less shy since I'll know how to do it.

And he totally loved it.

So hopefully I'll grow into oral soon for his sake. Thank you for your help!!

[haties]

like previously stated, go slow, and go on your own pace. and try to be spontaneous.

you can try teasing him by just levitating over the penis for a prolonged period of time, and not doing anything really. or give random pecks here and there. or, you know how you breath onto a piece of glass so you can fog it up and write on it? try breathing on it like that, and let him feel the warmth. or just trace all the vains that are popping out with a finger, or tongue, and go slow at first.

sensitive part of the penis is RIGHT under the head where the crown meets, and then the head is also sensitive.

explore by varying your pressure on it with your hands first. grip the bottom of the penis and squeeze until he complains, just to see what his threshold is. try to grip the bottom of the penis tightly, and drag it towards the head and watch it turn redish and expand(my girlfriend was amused by it). see what is too much, and what isnt, and then stay between the boundaries.

have fun with it, and joke around once you've very comfortable with it. this one time, my girlfriend thought it would be funny if she talked or buzzed/mumbled with the penis in her mouth. not that you can understand what shes saying, but the added vibrations feel really really good.

changing tempos also work..

one thing my girlfriend had a real problem was with keeping her jaw open that long, and that wide. if that is you, then what you can do is switch from mouth to hands, and repeat that over and over again. slowly(if you want to), you can build your strength and stamina around your jaw and seeing how that goes.

[SamIAm]

Wow, thank you so much! This is so helpful, just everything everybody says on these forums!! I've kind of gotten past the point where I can ask my mom these sorts of questions, not because she's stiff or anything, but because our personalities are so radically different in this area that her advice just confuses me once you get past the basics. And she used to be my main source of information! So it's good to have other voices.

Thank you!!!

[Dennis in San Jose]

Love, and sex, are two-way streets, but it looks like you, your guy and the previous posters are going only one way. What about him giving you oral sex? That should give him pleasure. I know anything I did that gave pleasure to my woman, whether I was young or old, gave me pleasure. (Yes, I'm an older man.)
If you haven't, you should let him fondle you: breasts, then genitals, while making out. (If you love him and he does it at all right that should be a big turn-on.) That should lead right in to you wanting and his giving you oral sex. Then just lean back and enjoy it, while you direct him to your clitoris for his tongue and your G-spot for his finger.
Enjoy.