My guy's addicted to anal sex - is that normal or is he losing his sex drive?

My boyfriend and I have a wonderful emotional relationship as well as a wonderful physical relationship. He recently convinced me to try anal sex. I hated it at first but after giving it a few extra shots it was ok. He loves it so much.. so most of the time I let him finish there. We do it a lot but lately Ive noticed that if we skip the anal and just stick to vaginal, he cant finish and just ends up loosing his erection. Now, even though he doesnt complain about it, i feel bad if I dont give him anal sex. Am I not tight enough anymore in comparison?? I am 20 and he is 32... is there a possibility that he is loosing his drive??

[K. in Cleveland]

Originally Posted by Charlene from FL

My boyfriend and I have a wonderful emotional relationship as well as a wonderful physical relationship. He recently convinced me to try anal sex. I hated it at first but after giving it a few extra shots it was ok. He loves it so much.. so most of the time I let him finish there. We do it a lot but lately Ive noticed that if we skip the anal and just stick to vaginal, he cant finish and just ends up loosing his erection. Now, even though he doesnt complain about it, i feel bad if I dont give him anal sex. Am I not tight enough anymore in comparison?? I am 20 and he is 32... is there a possibility that he is loosing his drive??

OK, most men do like anal because it is tighter. Usually the vagina is tight enough for men to orgasm, and if you're 20 you should be unless you engage in large insertions. If you feel that your vagina is more loose than it used to be there are exercises you can do Kegal exercises. But I doubt that is the problem.
He may be beginning to have some erectile dysfunction (ED). This is common, so don't worry. And remember, ED is not a lack of desire or love for a man's partner, it is a medical issue. Talk with him, and find out if he might be interested in trying a cock ring to help keep his erection so you can both enjoy the vaginal sex you prefer. Also, he should see his doctor. There's a lot of reasons why men might get ED, medical conditions, medications, and even psychological disorders. So get to talkin with him and get the bang back where you want it!

[Midnight]

I hate to say it sweetheart but I love pussy just like i love a good ass.That sounds kinda suspect.I'm 38 and feel like I'm 18 so it's not a case of losing his sex drive.It may that he's lost his sex drive for women.

[FemaleOrgasm]

The more masculine and the more testosterone he has the more sexual variety he will need to stay sexually aroused.

You can also have anal orgasms so you can become "addicted" to anal as well. Then it will become "normal" to you.

You can even give him anal orgasms by massaging his prostate.

[megstar777]

Guys like it because it is tighter

[scarbowl]

Normal? That's a loaded question here.

If men had their way anal sex would be fairly common. But since women are partners in this it seems that well under 1/3 of couples engage in anal on any sort of regular basis. (I could look this up and find a source but I'm going with what I remember.)

The rectum is designed to expel things - not to take things in. That's not to say you can't enjoy anal sex, though. I have my doubts about an "anal orgasm" but if you can achieve that more power to you. My guess is that you tolerate his desire but it really isn't anything you look forward to. Plus it isn't face-to-face (usually) and you might miss that aspect.

But, hey, what's wrong with intercourse? That's the question I think you pose. Why doesn't he want to have "regular" sex? Have you asked him this specifically?

It could be that some counseling is needed. There must be some issue here that isn't clear to you. The question here seem to me to be how to have a mutually satisfying sex life - not how to become an anal sex "addict." Most of us need variety and 100% of any act or position becomes boring after a while. Some people can't even handle 100% with the same person.

That said, I wouldn't take his behavior/desire to suggest that he harbors homosexual tendencies.

I hope you and he can have some clear communication and a mutual expression of desires and interests. Please let us know what comes of this!

[janice2009]

With the information given, we could only guess. I think it would be better to open up more sensual channels of communication as to hear the answer directly from him. He's obviously enjoying anal sex more now, and if you can't turn him back to vaginal sex, it'll be best to do some research on how to reach orgasm from anal sex to make things fair for you.