I was a virgin she was not

[rugbydmn5]

I have been dating my girlfriend for over three months now we have had sex i would not say many times but offten. When we met i was a virgin while she was not. I knew this from the begining because she had dated some one i knew which adds to the problem. I really like this girl she is fun to be around and i cant stop thinking about her but i also cant stop feeling jelious that she should have had her first sexual experince with me. What makes it even harder is i knew that she was having sex and in a relasionship with this other guy who was not a close friend but a friend none the less. Some times this is all i can think about and it makes getting close to her hard. I have told her my problems and she has said that he was a compleat jerk (which i knew from the begining) this makes me feel even more that he did not diserve her. How can i get over this jelousy feeling and stop getting angry that it should have been with me. Or is there no hope for me

[Sin Secret]

Hey there.

It seems you've run into a silly problem that many guys seem stuck on. My up-straight and honest (opinionated) answer is Get over it. It sounds harsh, but really, I think thats the best thing you can do for yourself and your girlfriend.

She had sex with someone else, so what? If you break up, and you find someone else, you'll have had sex with someone before your new girl. Sounds confusing, but the point is that sex happens. You (She) can't hold on to virginity for every new like/love you run into, it doesn't work that way. She's already expressed that you're far better than him, so acknowledge that you've got her now and he does not matter.

There's no reason for you to feel jealous whatsoever. If you really like it, it shouldn't matter who she had sex with before you, whether its the jerk you knew or six guys from around the block. It's not really your business. Just like if you weren't a virgin, it wouldn't be any of her business who you'd slept with.

But after being honest and (possibly) a bit rude, here's what I think would help you.

Try reminding yourself that she was a different person before, and that she probably had her reasons for being with that guy, and sleeping with him. Remind yourself that after her (whenever that may be), you will be with other girls, and those girls will have been with other guys (or girls).
The biggest thing is to remind yourself that she's with you, not him. She's chosen you, which means she likes you better. Maybe that preference is because of your personality, looks, or sexual abilities, but regardless of why, she chose you. That's important. He doesn't matter because she doesn't want him anymore, she want's you.

Your not hopeless, you just have to figure it out in your own head. It's the past, it can't be helped or changed; he doesn't matter, the two of you do.
If you dwell on this situation it'll only hurt you, her, and your relationship. .

Good luck,
~Sin

[Mexi Dave]

I lost my virginity with a girl that wasn't a virgin. She had had like 5 or 6 other guys and yes, some of them where jerks. But you know what matters? is that she is with you right now and not them. If you want to be with a virgin go out and find some locked-up religious girl (even then not guaranteed) and marry her. I think your attitude is a bit selfish, just get over it and once you've had sex with other women you'll find out that it's not a big deal.

[FemaleOrgasm]

Read these free ebooks on the female orgasm (they come with diagrams and instructional videos with a rubber vagina):

A spot orgasm

C spot orgasm

G spot orgasm

Then DO it. If you don't, you'll be jealous in every relationship you're in and drive girls away. Less than 5% of guys are good in bed and 75% of girls cheat because their boyfriends/husbands are bad in bed.

[JtotheV]

I’ve been there. For me sex is a very emotional thing, personal, deep. I waited till I knew we would be getting married, I had planned to wait till marriage but that didn’t happen. It was very difficult for me that my fiancé was not a virgin (especially since I had somehow made it 5 years with someone and never got naked). It was hard for me, knowing that our experience together was not a new shared magical experience, that he had had it before with girls that he didn’t really love. I could not get those other girls out on my head and it made me depressed. I’ll be honest; you don’t just get over it like people tell you to. And you are not bad or wrong for thinking about it. It doesn’t mean your relationship is unhealthy or you have an unrealistic view about sex. Sex means different things to different people; it is important to different people for different reasons none of which are wrong. For some people sex is not just sex, it is more meaningful and more important, and the idea that she was with someone who was not so loving so invested, so not you, is not easy to come to terms with. I don’t want to get you down make you think that you are stuck thinking about this forever. My suggestion is to do what I did, and find things your girl has not experienced that were sexual in nature, for my fiancé and me oral was an unknown realm we explored together. Maybe it is a position: maybe it’s a fantasy: maybe its lotions, or oils, or chocolate body paint. Do new intimate things. She could be a body pain virgin, or a doggy style virgin. Get a nice clean feather and gently use it to explore your bodies together. The more new enjoyable things you experience, the less the sexual acts from her past will matter. You will think about them time to time and it may make you feel shitty, but when you do think about it stop and think about that special thing you did with her he did not, that special way you touched her he was too self serving to bother with, all the special intimate things you have shared with her and only her, and she has shared with you and only you, and I bet after you think of all those things you won’t be able to help but smile at the thought of what you have experienced together.