My weird boyfriend?

[Renee in Columbus]

Love this website!

Anyways, I've been dating this guy for approx 3 years. The first 6 months, we has LOTS of sex! After that, we just came to a halt. The sex suddenly dropped between us. I didn't really know why, I mean, we have lots of variety. We practically try something new everytime. So I went to investigate on what might have caused us to stop. I openly and honestly asked him. He openly and honestly answered me back. He enjoyed sex with animals more. I thought it was horrific but I lived with it. Honestly, I have no idea what might have caused this. Anyways, our relationship is good but we pretty much have no sex now (which is pretty irratating for me). I once told him that I feel as if he's cheating on me by doing this and he always tells me "I'm always gonna love you more" or "No one is ever gonna replace you". I feel as if I have no say in what he does. I'm also pretty worried that he could get a disease. He doesn't use protection. Lately, he's been into inatimate objects. I don't know why, or how he does it. I don't care if he watches animal porn or fantasizes about it. All I want is for him to have sex with me for a change! It seems like I'm too normal for him! I even cry, wishing I could do something. I dress up in animal costumes (horse, cow, sheep, ect...) but he says it isn't the same. I'm extremly frustrated! He's just not fullfillng any of my needs. It's been 2 and half years now since I've had sex. I'm really starting to itch. But I don't wanna dump him. He's my first boyfriend and I love him. Plus, I'm a shy person so I can't really pick up guys fast. So my question is, are there any really tequnices for him to come back to me? Is he sick and justs needs to go to the doctor? Is what he's doing considered "cheating"? Please advise!

[Exavion]

He likes to have sex with animals more?

Well that's a little freaky, even by this forum's standards.

Look, it's really simple. If he's not fulfilling your needs, break it off as smoothly as you can and try to find someone else who will.

[Renee in Columbus]

Originally Posted by Exavion

He likes to have sex with animals more?

Well that's a little freaky, even by this forum's standards.

Look, it's really simple. If he's not fulfilling your needs, break it off as smoothly as you can and try to find someone else who will.

Well, actually a lot of people are interested in beastiality I really don't have a problem. It's his fetish and everybody deserves to fantasize.The problem is that beastiality is a subtitute for sex with me. I really don't want to dump him. He's got all the characteristics of the perfect boyfriend. I just want to fix his "problem" and I'm not sure how.

[Exavion]

Oh I was not saying it's specifically wrong but it sort of is odd to me.

If he's not having sex with you at all because of it, that definitely is an issue. Maybe try and see a counselor?

[Renee in Columbus]

Originally Posted by Exavion

Oh I was not saying it's specifically wrong but it sort of is odd to me.

If he's not having sex with you at all because of it, that definitely is an issue. Maybe try and see a counselor?

Yeah, like I said, we haven't had sex for two and a half years. He says that nothing is wrong with him, that he's just fulfilling his needs. It'd be selfish of me to try to take something that he loves away. He's always been so kind too me. It confuses me if he loves me then he'd have sex with me, right?

[stargazer123]

Sometimes it is unfortunate that why people we want to love, choose not to love us back. I strongly believe that we all have a match in this word but need to wait until we can get a serious relationship with us and will last. When one attempt to a relationship fails, it simply meant to be. If you are affected with the pain because of the relationship, always remember you can recover it. This could be easily dealt with if only our emotions are not evolved when we start to feel strongly for someone but more often than not ,the heart rules strongly over our head.

[Renee in Columbus]

Originally Posted by stargazer123

Sometimes it is unfortunate that why people we want to love, choose not to love us back. I strongly believe that we all have a match in this word but need to wait until we can get a serious relationship with us and will last. When one attempt to a relationship fails, it simply meant to be. If you are affected with the pain because of the relationship, always remember you can recover it. This could be easily dealt with if only our emotions are not evolved when we start to feel strongly for someone but more often than not ,the heart rules strongly over our head.

H-He loves me! I just know it! He always tells me it and I believe it! I can't break up with him just for a stupid cause, I just can't. I'll do whatever I can in my power to be able to strengthen our sex life. I don't what attracts him but i'll figure it out, I will...

[Exavion]

Well, to me, breaking up because your partner will not have any sex at all with you is a valid reason. That's just my opinion though.

Honestly, it's a personal matter, nothing something we can just tell you. If you feel like it's not cause enough to break up with him, than don't, and try to be happy.

[The Beautiful Kind]

He is getting his emotional and physical needs met.

You are not.

You deserve to have your physical and emotional needs met. You can take care of that one of two ways:

- keep him as a partner but get your needs met elsewhere to fill in the blanks. You can discuss this with him so it won't be a secret. Just as you support him and accept him for who he is, he should accept you as you are.

- break up with him and find a better situation for you. I guarantee there is a better match out there for you. This is just one experience that you will learn and grow from.

Be brave and listen to your heart. You are still green when it comes to relationships, take it from a seasoned pro like me, you will find an even better situation.

[K. in Cleveland]

Originally Posted by Renee in Columbus

H-He loves me! I just know it! He always tells me it and I believe it! I can't break up with him just for a stupid cause, I just can't. I'll do whatever I can in my power to be able to strengthen our sex life. I don't what attracts him but i'll figure it out, I will...

OK, I'm just jumping in here as I've had a weird week and haven't been on much. I'm sure he does love you, but he well may not be in love with you. I love my closest friend very much, like a sister, it does not mean I am in love with her or would wish to have an intimate relationship with her.
It sounds to me like you are afraid of being alone, so you've settled for a give and no-take relationship. This is not fair to either of you. Regardless of who, or what, he wants to have sex with if he's not giving you anything, that is not fair to you.

Now, as far as the animal sex goes, fantasy is one thing, but it can get to be a very sticky legal situation. Sex is acceptable, legally and to most, morally, if both partners are consenting adults. The ability for an animal to give consent is non-existant, therefore this can be considered a sex crime. That is something you have to consider... if he were to get caught, and prosecuted.. could you live with a convicted sex offender? Local and state laws differ on this, but it is usually not acceptable in most municipalities.

You have tried to give him what he desires, he will not give back. This is not acceptable in a loving relationship. It is not something you can "fix" although therapy may help, but chances are when someone has a fetish they enjoy to the point of excluding "normal, healthy sexual activity" it is not something that is changed.. although behavior modification specialist psychotherapists may be able to help.

Good luck to you, and please, don't let yourself be ignored sexually!