I got hurt while trying to have sex. Help!

[alee marie]

My boyfriend and I first decided that we should wait to have sexual intercourse and have anal sex instead. It went great. But last night, my boyfriend actually asked me if I wanted to have sex now since we're still virgins. I said yes, and he made everything so romantic. But...I started to noticed pain when he was putting the head of his penis in, first I thought okay well, I should expect a little pain since it's my first time but I knew something was wrong. He stopped and we both noticed I was bleeding a lot. But at the bottom of my vagina, just under the hole. It looks like a little bit of my skin ripped. I know I'm suppost to at the top, but at the bottom underneath the hole...I dont think so.

I must say, I feel terrible for stopping such a special thing, especially since my boyfriend made everything so beautifully like put rose peddles on the bed etc. I want to try again, but I think I should wait until I heal because I'm still bleeding since last night.

Is this suppost to happen? Or is his penis too big for me? I really need help here.

[emziee90]

some people get hurt when they first have sex i did when i first sleep with my boyfriend and i did bleed but after you a while the pain goes away and you will enjoy it i would recommend that you use lubricant as it will go in easier

[K. in Cleveland]

You can tear on the top or the bottom. It shouldn't be an incredible amount of pain or bleeding. If it continues to bother you, you should talk to your doctor. Even if you do not notice any continued problems it's never a bad thing to ask your doc about it. Believe me, they've seen/heard it all before, so there's no shame in it.

Also, one thing in your post really jumped out at me... you say that you didn't want to have intercourse so you opted for anal sex instead. Maybe I'm just not hip and with it these days, but what's the difference? I mean vaginal penetration can get you pregnant while anal cannot (unless of course there's a fissure) but STDs are still passed this way, and if he's not wearing a condom he can get an infection (let's face it, this isn't the cleanest area of the body) and it can hurt just as much if not more than vaginal penetration. Please explain this to me as I really don't get it.. like I said, maybe I'm out of the loop of what sex is and isn't... and I'm just thinking of former President Clinton here defining oral sex...

[alee marie]

Originally Posted by K. in Cleveland

You can tear on the top or the bottom. It shouldn't be an incredible amount of pain or bleeding. If it continues to bother you, you should talk to your doctor. Even if you do not notice any continued problems it's never a bad thing to ask your doc about it. Believe me, they've seen/heard it all before, so there's no shame in it.

Also, one thing in your post really jumped out at me... you say that you didn't want to have intercourse so you opted for anal sex instead. Maybe I'm just not hip and with it these days, but what's the difference? I mean vaginal penetration can get you pregnant while anal cannot (unless of course there's a fissure) but STDs are still passed this way, and if he's not wearing a condom he can get an infection (let's face it, this isn't the cleanest area of the body) and it can hurt just as much if not more than vaginal penetration. Please explain this to me as I really don't get it.. like I said, maybe I'm out of the loop of what sex is and isn't... and I'm just thinking of former President Clinton here defining oral sex...

Oh alright. It actually feels much better today. I didn't know at all that I could tear at the bottom also. But thank you for telling me this.

To me, anal and untercourse are different. I don't really know how to explain it, but to me it feels different. When I have anal sex, it's okay, I do enjoy it. And it wasn't painful at all. I Actually thought it would be, But we had a lot of lubricant which helped a lot.

But my boyfriend and I wanted to see how intercourse would feel. It would most likely feel the same to him but more plessurable for me. So we wanted to try but it was painful for me and he only had half of the head of his penis but I really had to stop, it was too much to bare as I said earlier.
He wore a condom. I am aware of the dangers if he didn't. But he's really healthy. He even had a physical not to long ago and everything was fine. We're really only using the condom so I don't get pregnant because we're not ready for a baby at this time.

I don't really know if that helped or not coming from a newbie at sex ><

[alee marie]

Originally Posted by emziee90

some people get hurt when they first have sex i did when i first sleep with my boyfriend and i did bleed but after you a while the pain goes away and you will enjoy it i would recommend that you use lubricant as it will go in easier

Oh, I didnt know it would be this painful lol. ><
But i will definitely use lubricant, and thank you so much (: