Unsafe sex

[jen12mcc]

Dan and Jennifer

My Boyfriend and I had unsafe sex and now Im pregant. My boyfriend claims I must of have sex with someone else because he knows he didnt get me pregant. I know it was him. So now he wants nothing to do with the baby. What should I do?

[K. in Cleveland]

Well, there's paternity testing. This is becoming much more commonplace and affordable for the average person. If you cannot afford to do it on your own check with the local health department. If they cannot do it for you they should be able to refer you to some place that can, and at an affordable price. You may need to persue him through the courts in order to do this, if he is unwilling. But probably the best approach would be to say to him that in order to prove he is not the father you want him to do the paternity test. Then, there's always the Maury show if you wanna go that route.

I'm sorry that you've been put into this predicament. You have a lot of things to consider now and I wish you luck and pray for strength as this can be a very confusing and trying time. Do you know if he is proven to be the baby's father if he might come back to you? If he does not want to, you can still get support from him through child support. I know this is a touchy issue for some guys who might read this, but hey, it's us ladies that get the baby cause we can't run away from it once the deed is done...

[Dan And Jennifer]

I agree with K. on the paternity testing. That's the best proof.

Also, I notice that you did not deny having sex with other people? You only said that you know it's him...

If he's the ONLY person you've had sex with, then there's nothing to worry about. But, if you've had sex with anyone else, even one time, then you really have no way of knowing other than to have each of the men you've had sex with have the test.

Sorry, but K.'s comment on the Maury show got me thinking of how many women have actually been proved wrong on that show...

Now even if you do prove that your boyfriend is the father, there's no way to make him be a part of your child's life other than financial support. It really sucks, but that's how it is. You cannot control another person or make them do something that you would like - even in this situation.

You really need to ask yourself how you want to proceed knowing that raising and caring for this child will be your sole responsibility. Is that something that you want and are ready for. I'm not telling you what to do, just make sure that you explore all of your options and choose the one that you feel is best for you, and your baby if you decide to deliver.

I'm not trying to be doom and gloom - just asking you to take an honest look at your situation. Listen to the advice of others, but do not let them coerce you into something you don't want to do. No matter how good the intentions of your family and friends, this is your situation to deal with - not theirs.