I'm never horny anymore!!! And I used to be able to orgasm every day!!! what's is WRONG with me?

[oliviavern]

I'm kind of worried. I used to be horny all the time. My libado used to be very, very high. I've currently started dating this guy who's just entered my life during this libado-less phase, and I think he's starting to think that it's all his fault. I haven't been able to orgasm for 3 months--both through manual, and with sex. And even before that, for around 8-10 months, I've noticed a lack of interest in manual stimulation or sex.

Now, I can't even get AROUSED. It hurts when he touches me sometimes because I'm not "wet" enough. I used to just juice up without a hitch. Not only that, I used to be able to orgasm EVERY DAY!!!

I don't know what's happening!

It's frustrating me.

Most of the time, I'm aware of a mental blockage. But it's not because I'm shy, or that i have any inhibitions, or that I'm worrying about anything. I just end up /not thinking/ at all. I become blank. And any attempt to "get into the mood" doesn't work at all. I've tried Trying during sex. I've tried Not Trying. I've tried Relaxing. I've Tried concentrating on Sensations. Or on Emotions. I've tried getting kinky. I've tried Imagining Graphic Images. I've even tried watching Porn.

NOTHING WORKS.

And it's been a little kink on my side.

It's only been recently that I've been worrying about it.

I used to be able to Orgasm everyday!!!

[Anniina]

I had a similar problem a while ago. I was on one medication and I couldn't get an orgasm because of it. And if I did get an orgasm it took a lot of work and it wasn't that great. Before the drug I was able to come allmost always. The difference with me though was that I was really really horny all of the time and couldn't do anything about it. But drugs can do both make you not horny and/or not come.

[K. in Cleveland]

Well, this is definitely something I'd suggest talking to your doctor about. More than likely it is not a physical problem so much as psychological. But it still warrants a look by your doc. As Anniina said, many prescription drugs can affect a person's libido in such a way. There are also other physical issues that could be contributing to your difficulties.. best to talk to your doc about it. But, since you do admit feeling a mental block, chances are it's more psychological. I went through a major depressive episode where my normally high sex drive absolutley died... even to the point of disgust if sex was even mentioned. Now, it sounds to me like you want to want sex. I am not a psychologist, but I do enjoy studying psychology, and from what I know there are at least 2 possible disorders with these symptoms; female sexual arousal disorder and hypoactive sexual desire disorder. Again, if you speak with your doctor, he or she may refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist specializing in sexual disorders. Believe me, it's not an uncommon thing, don't be ashamed of it. For myself, I went to hypnotherapy for both my depression and my dead libido. Both were very quickly resolved after hypnosis. It may be something you'd like to look into. Not only does it work like conventional counseling in a faster way, it also usually leaves you feeling refreshed and relaxed for a while after each session.
The most important thing is to not beat yourself up about it. This kind of thing happens, even to the best of sex drives
As for your new boyfriend, assure him it is not his fault, and that you very much want to stay with him (if you do, of course) and ask for him to stick with you as you work to correct this.

[oliviavern]

OR!

Maybe I'm Lesbian.

Ok. No.

But I'm definately not on prescription drugs.

I do have a lot of things giong on though. But the thing is, even if I'm under a lot of stress, it has never really affected me before.

Actually, I could just be lesbian...

I'm not even kidding. I get more sexually aroused watching me, or another woman undress, than watching my boyfriend (who is SPECTACULAR to behold, and I'm not exaggerrating) naked, doing his business.

Thing is, I don't know if that is a big determining factor on deciding your sexually.

How exactly does a person figure that out? (sigh)

Come to think of it, I get more aroused, thinking about a guy doing a girl, (the actual act of it) than the guy himself. Guys are sexy, yes, but I don't know...

I see-saw in between finding girls or guys attractive. Lately, it's just been the simple decision of going for guys that has branded me as a purely "straight" person. I think I'm Bi, but I could never date a girl.

hm...


GGAAAAAAAAAD. But I find my boyfriend attractive! I don't understand it.


eh I'm confused.