Threesome idea with my girlfriend and her boyfriend - Should I tell my husband?

[sassy in PA]

I have a girlfriend who wants me to participate in a threesome with her and her boyfriend. I am married and my husband does not know about this. I have to admit I'm a little bit curious but I know nothing about this and either does my friend. How is this supposed to happen and would I feel more comfortable with my husband and her?

[Dan And Jennifer]

Originally Posted by sassy in PA

I have a girlfriend who wants me to participate in a threesome with her and her boyfriend. I am married and my husband does not know about this.

Hi sassy, welcome!

OK, stop right there. Going behind your husband's back is really a recipe for disaster and could end your marriage. Please forgive me if I misunderstood, but that's how the question read to me.

Many people take swinging and open relationships to mean that you can just have sex with others and it's ok. in fact we just watched the latest episode of SwingTown, and they showed a preview for next week's show - in that scene, the husband got caught cheating with another woman and he lashed out at his wife, saying that she started the whole idea of opening up their marriage.

In reality, whatever you and your significant other agree on is what's ok - never more. It's by no means an open permit to have sex with others without telling your partner about it. That's a very fine line indeed, but it comes down to honesty and openness, a must for a happy relationship - and couples that stay within that line have a wonderful experience.

Please don't take this as picking on you, absolutely not, the question just set off a strong warning flag for me. :-)

The question then becomes, would you and your husband be interested in opening your sex life to others - not specifically your friend and her husband, but just others. Once you iron that out, you can start looking at potential playmates.

Dan

[gatburgteddy]

I agree with Dan.... That's a RED FLAG to me as well.... You and Your husband are ONE not seperate.... He should know what you do as well as what he does..... First off... Lets COMMUNICATE with your spouse... cause as we all know, NO Communication at all is leading up to a divorce or stale marraige.... You might find that your husband is willing to "TRY" this with you... But you must FIRST sit down and discuss this issue before going forward...... PLUS!!!!! Jealousy, CAN NOT BE THERE!!!! if you or your hubby have any doubts, jealous, or questionable fears of "having sex with others" then it's NOT going to work and you'll end up having MORE problems...... Swinging is a LIFESTYLE that is good with couples who are FULLY confidant in their relationship, This means YOU BOTH LOVE EACH OTHER UNCONDITONALY... without fear of losing each other....Many times I've noticed couples who are in the lifestyle and their marraige falls apart because THEY wanted Extra - marital sex and thinking this was the way to do it..... It's a ONE WAY STREET! You and your spouse must come to an agreement, without bias or fears.... FRIENDSHIP..... LOVE....TRUST....RESPECT if you place these values ahead of everything, you'll have a HAPPY relationship.... BEST ADVICE.... Do NOT do swinging without your partner's permission or acceptance.....

[nicecockhelmet]

Threesomes involvong two guys and one female are certainly the mostest end bestest sexual encounters which can be had.Disregard the polygamy/monogamy considerations-go beyond those!Why are they so brilliant?Because they disregard the variant penis sizes.In fact females go nuts over two guys comparing,literally,each other's cocks-chicks love it-if they've truly gone beyonds their indoctrinated inhibitions.The usual good standards and requirements apply - genial and agreeable behaviour,acceptable hygiene standards,etc and so on.Females appreciate all penis sizes from average to gargantuant.Females compare cock designs in their minds if they have two of them together at the same time - they just might not be as extrovert in their considerations as maybe the two guys will be; to avoid being seen to be too sluttish[because it is true that a majority of guys don't like rank sluttishness in females] or because of natural feminine shyness.I'll tell you this,though,it's one thing to watch a guy and a chick go for it in a sexual encounter on video and DVD,but its another,more stunning,thing to see a healthy hetero couple go for it in real life-to see that guy,in person,vigorously,and sometimes mercilessly,wield that aroused penis on the given female!