We are seasoned swingers but... Recently I have had a problem performing with other females

[swingtown]

Recently I have had a problem performing with other females. My wife continues to have a lot of fun but I end up just sitting back and watching her with either a couple or a female. I really enjoyed the excitment of swinging but now I feel insecure and this feeling grows as we meet more and more couples. My wife loves to swing so I don't want to stop for her. I have never had anything but compliments from any of my partners but as soon as I get in bed I get nervous. Should I continue down this path or should I tell my wife? I don't want to stop her from having fun. Any suggestions? confused:.

[K. in Cleveland]

I think maybe you guys just need to take a break. Everything can be fun for awhile, and after a bit it seems not-so-wonderful. I don't really think you have anything to worry about, unless you're loosing sleep over it. Or if there are any other signs that you're having serious anxiety over things. If not, I think maybe you just need to take a break, tell your wife you don't want to stop swinging, but just a recess from all the fun Then talk about your limits and all.. you know, couples renew their vows to show their devotion to each other after some time has passed from their marriage... and I think open relationships need to renew their conduct code with each other from time to time.

[tankman101]

You are a bit unclear IMHO.
Have ever had a problem swinging in the past or just recently? Do you have any problems when its just you and your wife?
If so maybe you should see a Doctor? (whats your age and what sort of physical shape are you in? Are you more stressed then normal?)
If not, maybe, like the other poster said, you just need a break from it.
The bad thing is once anxiety starts, you need to breach it because it just feeds on itself.
You definately need to tell your wife about this in depth. She and your playmates can help you overcome this if it just a little performance anxiety.

Good luck, hope its nothing serious.

[DaniMarie]

Definitely TALK to your wife. If you keep on going and don't tell her how you feel chances are good that the whole thing will only fester inside you. Tell her how you feel and let her know where you are at. Then it would probably be a good idea to take a break. Come back to it when you are ready. This is of course as long as swinging is the only place you are having problems performing.