bringing in a new couple

[mndfuncouple]

My girlfriend and I have been swinging for almost a year now and have an open relationship with some well placed boundaries for our comfort levels and personalities. We recently met a couple that we find very attractive and were getting a very good ...vibe from. We have absolutely no clue weather or not they 'play'. We are interested in opening them up to the possibilitiy of swinging/swapping/etc. We mostly meet up with couples that we know are swingers when we get the urge to play and are not sure how to breach the subject with them. Do you have any advice?

[Xero]

My best advice would be to try and hint around it with them and see if they get idea and watch their reactions. I'm not sure how you would go about doing this though.

I would also use caution, because if they have never done it before then they would not know what to expect. Such as the experience, the emotions that can arise, the rules and such.

I would just hit at it and if you finally ask them then go over rules and how they can work it out so it works for you and them becasue if their new to it they won't know how to feel, what to do, and how to cope with the emotions of other people in their relationship. By that I mean possiable attachment, and feelings for the other couple that are unwanted.

Other than that Good Luck and congratulations on such a wonderful experience. I have never done it, probably wouldn't but would like to, but know it would ever happen, but I'm fine with it.

[Dan And Jennifer]

Guys, hmm... this may not be what you're hoping to hear. But it's really tricky if you don't know whether this new couple would be open to it. I'd say definitely proceed with caution. Our advice: get to know them better, don't spring something on them.

Yes, it's true that millions of couples in the U.S. alone are open to some degree of "openness" in their relationship. But that still leaves maybe 75% that aren't, and of that very optimistic number that ARE open to it, there's just no way to know what exactly they're open to.

So short version, get to know them first. If you actually like them as friends over time, let the relationship develop naturally. As you get to know them, it'll become obvious if they're interested "in that way".

Once people get comfortable and "let loose" it's much easier to be open and get to really know them. And that way you're building a more quality relationship anyway...

You might also check out some of the swinger videos and articles in our Swingers & Threesomes channel here on Ask Dan & Jennifer, I know we've done some videos on related topics.

Your thoughts?

And let us know how it goes!!!