curious about maybe starting swinging?

[bp7476]

we are a early 30's married couple of 12 yrs. with 2 children
the new show swingtown is my wifes favorite as well as one of mine
although we are not swingers (so to say) we have had a few experiences with another couple and a single male friend
we are interested in the soft swing variety

anyway the show has brought up the interest again
what advise would you have and any books that maybe have questions we could ask eachother to get the topic going a little deeper to see if this is something we would consider?

any help would be appreciated
thanks,

[Dan And Jennifer]

Yeah, we also enjoy SwingTown, in fact it's given us a lot of great material to write on and talk about. It's great that they have (for the most part) focused on the more important aspects - i.e. full and open communication is crucial in these situations - instead of silly outdated stereotypes (anyone remember the Jack in the Box commercial earlier this year?).

Here's our first look at SwingTown; we did for an interview with Extra some weeks back - which aired last week - check it out here (it was edited in a pretty creative way, but whatever, that's showbiz I guess - LOL).

I know exactly what you mean, we're not big fans of labels... so when exactly do you become a "swinger", is it after the 2nd threesome, or the fourth encounter with another couple, and does it all have to be within a particular timeframe?

It's great that you are thinking this through seriously before hand, and it's even better that you've had some experiences with others - together. You now know what types of jealousy issues you have - or don't have. That's a big wildcard for so many couples, because you just don't know how you're actually going to feel when you see another person being intimate with your spouse... the "mine - get away!" reaction is pretty strong for many.

What's most important is to identify your real objective - why do each of you want to try this... is it to spice up your sex life, to share some adventures together (i.e. "dating together"), etc.

Just make sure you're not trying to make up for a problem in your own relationship - it really doesn't sound that way, but that's a very common "wrong" reason for most couples to try swinging / open relationships.

You'll want to agree on rules (what you're each comfortable with) ahead of time, and understand that these rules will change; just make sure you change them together AFTER the various encounters with others, never during.

I would encourage you to check out our Swingers & Threesomes Channel where we have some helpful articles and videos on what to do, what not to do, what questions to ask, what to watch out for, etc.

And here are some particular videos you might find helpful...

"Curious Couple? How to Ease Into Swinging..."

"How Can I Overcome My Fear Of Swinging?"

As for where to start, I would encourage you to seek out others looking for the same thing, ideally not people that you happen to know (work, neighbors, etc.). That's not so different from the old "don't date people at the office" rule, but more so.

It's not hard to find other people in your area looking for sex (or friends with benefits - even better), either at a local swinger club or better yet an online adult dating site like Adult Friend Finder or SDC.

Dan

[bp7476]

thank you for the helpful advise
we spent last night talking about the possibility
and we are both in agreement
and afterwards well......
i'm sure you know

so now we are going to set our ground rules and take baby steps from there

wish us luck and maybe we will get to meet one day