He’s Divorcing His Wife to be With Me – Or Is He? (Video)

Losing the love

Couples often drift apart over the months and years together, and sadly most either don’t notice this shift or are too busy and distracted to do anything about it.

What’s amazing is that married couples are even more at risk than their non-married counterparts. Their perceived sense of security from "being married" leads them to be less worried about their relationship. So they get complacent and stop trying.

It’s human nature for most people to do the least possible required to get by. And if your partner is promised to you forever, then where’s the challenge in keeping them? Seriously, it’s already guaranteed, so really, why bother? It sounds crude, but think about it.

Finding love again, and a moving into new relationship

Well, after years of a downhill relationship, many married people find someone else who brings them happiness, and fall in love all over again. It happens much more than most people think. People don’t just fall in love when they’re single – they fall in love when there’s room in their lives for someone to bring them happiness.

But then comes the really hard part – the painful process of moving on from that previous relationship (often the marriage). And of course there’s the guilt that most people feel in this situation. That guilt is even so much more intense when they have children.

The new partner can often get very frustrated over how long this process truly takes…

And what about his relationship with his soon-to-be ex husband or wife? Will it just abruptly end, or will it just change over time? And will the "ex" be part of the new partner’s life from now on?

This is a really tough situation, but a very common one. Be sure to read the question, then watch the video and leave your thoughts below. 

Here’s the full story… 

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 2 years. He started seeing me behind his wife’s back. She knows about us now and has for about 9 months. They are in the middle of getting a divorce so we can be together.

My problem is that she still lives with him. They still do family things (they have 2 kids together). She still texts him and calls him to let him know what she’s doing where she’s at and when she’s on her way home from work.

He told me that the only reason things are still this way is because of the kids. He does come out and spend the night and stuff but we only get 1 or 2 nights or days out of the week.

Should I believe him? Should I continue waiting for the day that we will be together completely?

I’m asking this because I sometimes feel that there is still something going on between them like a relationship. Do you think the same thing? Do you think their divorce will ever be final? Do you think she will ever move out?

I’ll be waiting for your answers thank you very much

- Tabatha

Watch this short video for the answer…

Don’t forget to go to YouTube and rate this video and subscribe to our channel.

Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts - leave a comment below.

Dan and Jennifer are the Founders and Senior Editors of AskDanAndJennifer.com, which has been called "the best and most popular Love and Sex advice column on the Internet today". Their videos are some of the most popular videos on YouTube. Don't forget to ask your dating, love, and sex questions in the Ask Dan and Jennifer - Love, & Sex Forums. You should Fan Dan & Jennifer on Facebook and Follow them on Twitter!

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Comment Policy: Keep it positive and on topic. Comments will be promptly deleted if that are 1.) spammy (i.e. keyword like "dating tips" in place of your name, 2.) not related to this article, or 3.) in any way offensive or attacking to anyone. It's OK to disagree but it must be in a respectful and positive manner. Thanks!

  • Dear Dan and Jennifer

    Once again I would like to remark and underline your gift to dot one's "i's" and cross one's "t's" in situations people cannot find an answer or any support which many of them find in your articles/videos (answers).

    On-topic, I respect the man's wife (sorry didn't catch their names), I respect her will and power to find for the family in such hard times for her. If there was a chance this message could reach her I would appreciate that very much, as she is the one who really suffers in this given situation (according to the available information).

    Thank you one more time for your efforts for helping people when they need a helping hand.

    I also have a situation where one of my best friends broke up with his g/f, about 3 months ago, actually she left him for another woman She has a girlfriend now and She has a girlfriend. Part 2, and he is still in a deep depression. How can I help him? Looking forward to your comments guys.

    Take care, Andy.
  • Hey Andy,

    Thanks for the great comment.

    Hmmm... regarding your friend, I honestly don't believe you can really do anything to help him, aside from being his friend and being there for him.

    I read the posts about him and do have some more broad thoughts to share though.

    I don't think it matters one bit whether she left him to be with a woman, with a more attractive or wealthier man, or with an asexual blue alien.

    I see his rage in your quote, and he is so angry that she dared to leave him. But what he's not recognizing there, is that both he and she have every right in the world to be with anyone they choose at any time.

    Being together is a mutual choice, but when you take that leap to be with someone, it's always understood that it may or may not be permanent.

    Many times there's such anger and resentment from a partner that was on the "left" side of the break up, and it sounds more like "Damn it! Someone stole my truck!" than "my partner decided it's time for her to move on".

    Looking at the trends, we're seeing more and more break-ups and divorces, as people are less and less likely to stay in relationships that don't make them happy and don't meet their needs.

    As we as a society and as individuals grow and become more educated, I think shorter relationships will be the norm, not the exception. I know, the idea of "mating for life" is appealing to many from a security standpoint - and breaking up usually sucks from many perspectives - but fact is you're putting together two individuals, each with his own life, hopes, goals, dreams, aspirations... and people change.

    Eventually, especially over the long term, it's much more likely than not that they're going to grow apart than together.

    Everyone comes into your life for a reason, and although it's our natural impulse to hang on to them forever, they may have others they need to be with on their journey.

    Have an awesome day!
    Dan and Jennifer
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