How Sex Is Different After Divorce

Just kidding! It’s not…

Sex, in all of its intimate glory, is the same wonderful act you experienced in your marriage.

Unfortunately, for many men this may not necessarily be the case, because as a woman’s emotional attachment to her mate decreases, so does her physical attraction.

As one of the multitude of divorced men, you may have been in a loveless, sexless marriage with your spouse. Now that you’re unattached and "back on the market" per se, you could be gunning for more physical intimacy than you experienced in your last relationship.

This isn’t necessarily negative; sex is a natural act and the fact that you desire it means your heart is pumping in your chest.

What Is Different About Sex After a Divorce?

Nothing at the surface level. But dig deeper and there may be emotional issues you are battling in regards to your rediscovered physical freedom.

If you are one of those men who was in a low sex relationship with your spouse you may have learned to repress your natural urges and instincts. Now that you are single, you no longer have anything holding you back from pursuing the physical relationship that you desire.

Sex in marriage can often be a liberating experience that each partner shares.

Physical attraction is the glue that pulls people together in ways that they can express by sharing. People who bond at those levels connect deeply with each other and sex adds another bond between them that connects their emotional relationship with the physical.

A divorce alters that, makes you question yourself, and leaves you without that bond.

Don’t Play Emotional Russian Roulette with Your New Partner

Emotions run deep in most relationships, particularly in a marriage when you’ve been intimate with the same partner for years.

When granted the freedom to be with who you want it’s possible to give undesired love to your new partner. You may be craving that emotional connection you shared with your spouse and now you are laying it on your new girlfriend (or boyfriend) and letting it cloud your emotions.

Essentially you are playing Russian Roulette with your feelings with your partner.

Don’t Repeat Mistakes by Trying Not to Repeat Them

Some of the best advice I’ve ever received was from my divorced brother. It was quite simple and obvious yet I previously had not thought of this.

"Don’t let yourself put blinders on to your new relationship by looking for what you didn’t get from your last."

It was remarkable.

Looking inward it’s possible to see that we consciously and unconsciously judge our past and current relationships against one another. Naturally we’ll focus on the flaws on our past relationships and how our new partner does or doesn’t compare.

We sometimes miss our mark and overlook the flaws of our new partner because they meet some of the needs we didn’t receive from our past lovers.

What Does All This Mean?

Look inward as you approach new relationships, and try to know what your needs and wants really are.

Be sure you are emotionally ready to become intimate with a new partner and that it will be a healthy experience. It’s easier to be comfortable with another person when you are comfortable with yourself. Sex is a natural expression of this comfort and attraction.

Jason Likert is the founder of DivorcedDadsOnline.com. The goal of DivorcedDadsOnline.com is to provide a support network for divorced (and divorcing) fathers and common-sense advice for parents whether divorced or married. 

Have You Read These Related Stories?

•  Fight or Flight - How Men React To Divorce
•  Should I Divorce My Husband or Stay for the Kids? (Video)
•  3 Tips to Help You Get Over a Break Up - Quickly!
•  5 Dating Don’ts for Divorced Dads
•  Attracting the Relationship You Want Instead of the One You Left

Check Out These Helpful Resources You May Like...

Looking for Sex with No Commitments? Did you know that Adult Friend Finder gets more visitors every day than Match.com and eHarmony combined? Read the story »

How To Give Her Mind Numbing, Leg Shaking Orgasms... Do you believe your girlfriend or wife when she claims to have an orgasm? Here are some surprising facts... Read the story »

How to Approach Any Woman Without Fear of Rejection - Pick Up Secrets Exposed by a Woman How SHOULD a regular guy approach a woman to get her phone number, a date, a... Read the story »

How to Go Down on a Woman and Have Her Begging for More... Amazingly enough, many women have NEVER experienced an orgasm! Think about that for a minute... Read the story »

How Well Do You REALLY Know Your Partner? 1000 Must Ask Questions for Couples How compatible are you really with your partner? Down deep, where it really counts?... Read the story »

500 Sex Tips and Love Making Secrets That Everyone Ought to Know Think back to your last date... after the date, and to that special, sensual part of the evening. Do you remember... Read the story »

Subscribe to AskDanAndJennifer.com today and get the latest Dating, Relationship, Love, and Great Sex content sent straight to your email inbox. Do it today so you don't miss a single article.

Or... Subscribe to Ask Dan and Jennifer via RSS